A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:ok, here goes, brutal honesty even though I know you're all going to shoot me down! A few months ago I went on this thing called playstation home on my ps3. its like a socialising platform. you create your avatar (character) and you can chat to other people online in a virtual world. The thing is when I went on it, I made my avatar as a girl... For this reason alone, when you play as a guy, NO ONE talks to you.Anyway, while on it I started chatting to a few people and became kind of friends with them. But as things went on I grew more attached to them. And one person inparticular... Over the months (yes months) we've grown very close, so close that actually fallen in love with her. And I know, I should tell her, I'm a total sleezbag for what i've done. I want to be honest with her, and tell her the truth but in doing that I'll lose her. And the thought of losing her as a friend is the most horrible feeling i've ever felt. I dont know what to do anymore, please help. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell, she's just told me she can't do this anymore and deleted me. She's said her goodbye's. That's it, she's gone.
A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (29 December 2009):
 Good job, and needing time is an understandable response. That huge weight lifted of your shoulders, quite refreshing isn't it? That feeling now is normal. What I don't want you to ask is, what if I started as a guy on there? Ask this, if you had not done it the way you had, would you have met this girl?
I'll tell you what, if you two become an item, people will love the "how you two met" stories.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionFirst of all, thanks to everyone who posted a reply. Thought I'd give you an update. I've just told her everything. It's hit her hard but she said she's not angry. But she does however need some time alone. It feels like a weight has been lifted by being honest, though I still feel guilty which is understnadable, i knew i would.
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A
female
reader, Sadnat  +, writes (17 December 2009):
 i agree with the above message first tell her that you are a guy but leave out the love part it will freak her out even more.
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A
male
reader, Athleticmind +, writes (17 December 2009):
Anything done on playstation is a game and nothing but a game. Most people understand that when they sign on. Especially, when you choose an avatar. The basics of avatars is that you can become someone that you're not. In your case, you chose a girl avatar to be seen as popular.
On this game girls are more popular than guys. But very few people who play these games and choose avatars to represent themselves rarely ever actually meet each other in real life. Most likely, your newfound friend will not be heartbroken, or totally dismayed over your being a guy. They might even think it's cool!
And if they do get all bent out of shape, don't sweat it. Just come back as somebody else and start the game over. After all, it really is just a game.
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (17 December 2009):
Wouldn't it be interesting if you told her your a guy, and turned out she's a guy too?
Expand the outcome of your options. (1) Tell her, may loose her, which will hurt, or she may see it as okay, be understanding and you can begin a friendship built on the truth and trust real friends share, with the possibility of it expanding into more. (2) Don't tell her, guarantee you'll be hurt because you will never know if it could have been with this secret eating at you and live a lie.
One option might go either way, happiness or being hurt, the other one keeps you in pain, so which one will you choose.
I wouldn't tell her right away that you fell in love. I would confirm your friendship then let her know that you're telling her because you respect her and your friendship so you want her to know so she could get to know the real you.
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A
male
reader, Surfer93 +, writes (17 December 2009):
whoa. you need to get out of the house and forge real relationships. Tell her the truth as soon as you can. Say that you didn't take this thing seriously when you first got on it and were just messing around. you had no idea you'd come across someone as special as she is, and you've always been struggling with when would be the right time to tell her. Say you apologize for being deceiving and will totally understand if she never wants to talk to you again, but make it clear that you'd be happy to keep her as a friend. If you say that I think you'll be ok.
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A
female
reader, English gent +, writes (17 December 2009):
Online relationships arent real! She could be 20 years older than you! and does she know your a boy? She could be lesbian! If you have told her and you really feal like your in love then talk to her about it and see if she feels the same way, if she doesnt,her loss!
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