A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi! I'm a seventeen-year-old senior in high school. M y question is about peer pressure and judgmental people. Warning: it's a long story. One of my friends "Skye" I have known since freshmen year. We get along and all, but over the past few months, most of the other girls in our grade that are friends with Skye have lost respect for her because of what she has done. Allow me to explain:At the beginning of the school year, Skye was asked out by a sophomore, "Kenny" whose older sister "Junie" is in our grade. Skye was flattered, as she had been attracted to Kenny for a month or so, but had never gotten the courage to ask him out. So, they started going out.About a month ago, on our senior trip to Disney world Florida, Skye was one of the girls rooming with me. She was often out with her guy friends, which seemed okay to me. However, I later found out that she had "played" with one of the boys "Todd", in his hotel room one of the days. Then, on our last night there, I overheard a midnight conversation between Skye and another roommate "Gwen". Apparently, Todd was not the only boy she had hooked up with behind Kenny's back. In October, she had snuck out and smoked with a junior boy in her van, and did other "things". I was not super surprised. Unfortunately, people at school found out about her and Todd back home, and Kenny eventually broke up with her. Junie was mad, and threatened Skye never to hurt her little brother again, or she would be sorry.Now I feel like I'm caught in between not liking Skye for being semi-promiscuous, or remaining loyal to her. I've sort of been in neutral for the past two months, because I don't know what to do. Other people have said that I don't have to pick sides. However, Girls in our circle have called her a "whore" (daresay it) and other names behind her back. I know Skye is aware of it, but she does her own thing.I think what Skye is doing is just the way she is, that it's something that happens. I like her for her attitude and sense of humor. I also think other people are judging her based on rumors they have heard instead of actual knowledge. Here's my question, should I remain neutral for now, or try to pick a side? What do you think? Please Respond!!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2009): I feel like I'm caught in the middle. Well, what would you like people to think about you if you did the same thing? People make mistakes all the time and they have to deal with the consequences. Be honnest about how you feel with everyone because thats all you have. Your not going to marry any of these people I'm guessing so who cares what they really think. You'll find out who your friends are and the other ones don't really matter anyway so who cares. Forgive people when they wrong you and be nice to them if they say trash but you really have to be honnest with everyone. If you want to screw a negative person up, just say something positive. In the end, do what you want to do even if it makes people mad. I hope this helps.
A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (17 December 2009):
 Remain neutral. It's not you issue. It's also not any of their issue either. It happened, they broke up, end of story. The problem with teens is when someone makes a wrong choice, everyone else keeps reminding them and calling names etc. because of a rumor or they were caught. Generally those calling names have made a mistake or even cheated, but just didn't get caught doing it.
I tell my daughters when someone talks behind a friend's back to tell them, "If we're going to talk about him/her, the least we can do is invite them to the conversation so they can defend what you're saying."
His sister needs to stay out of it also. He's a boy, with a girl threatening his ex, sticking up for him, fighting his battles. Let that rumor begin, he'd be scared through his school years. Remember, teens can be not nice, and a boy with his sister doing that would not be a good reputation to have. She means well, but can cause damage by doing so.
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