A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I dated this guy for over a year. I loved him but we were very different and I knew he wasn't right for me so I broke up with him. Pretty soon afterward I met a new guy. He has all the qualities I want in a guy and we have a lot in common. The problem is, I still think about my ex and miss him a lot. And I get more excited when my ex calls me than when the new guy does. I want to be happy and excited about my new relationship but I'm just not feeling the way I think I should. I don't think I made a mistake when I broke up with my ex but my feelings are so confusing.--Confused in Colorado
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male
reader, Athleticmind +, writes (17 December 2009):
Residual feeling of attraction are pretty normal. If you really did break up with your ex, then why is he calling you? Maybe, in his mind, there is still a chance to "make it with you!" The old saying that "opposites attract" is actually untrue. If your ex really is very different from you, then that is something to consider. Your new bf has all the qualities you want in a guy, and you have a lot in common. But are the sparks flying between you two? Just because your ex was apparently not suitable doesn't mean that your new bf is suitable, either. Maybe, you need to keep on looking for an even better match. One last thing to consider is this: do you need to have a bf? Or are you with your new bf only because of the unique individual he is? Just some thoughts to chew over.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2009): Listen to your heart because if it's true love you will embrace the differences. Depending on the reason(s) you broke up with him, if you think and miss him a lot then it wouldn't be fair to the new guy because you might end up showing it subconsciously. Maybe you should take some time off from dating and see where your heart belongs. I'm going through the same thing right now and my ex is one of the reasons that I might end my 7 year relationship. I'm starting to think with my heart and not my head. Good Luck! :-)
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A
female
reader, English gent +, writes (17 December 2009):
Don't rush into another relationship yet, think about it for a while. Do you miss your ex? Do you hate him or love him? Can you picture yourself marrying the new guy? DO you think that it is worth it to get back with the old guy?
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