A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My bf and me got into an argument tonight because we were talking about dogs and I said they are better than people. He asked why I think that. I said because dogs are so selfless and pure. They are always happy and love unconditionally. Unlike people. He said that was silly. I honestly believe dogs are better than people I can't help the way I feel. People do such awful things. When dogs do it it's because of bad owners. I really want a dog but my bf doesn't want one because he says they are restrictive. I feel like I can't be with someone who doesn't want a dog ever. I love them so much. Is that so wrong? I've had dogs most of my life and I really miss it. He doesn't really like dogs. He said he doesn't hate them but he is just not a dog person. I can't understand how anyone could not love them. How do I make him love dogs? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2019): Some husbands might really really like a long legged sexy Goddess or Mermaid, but do they get one? we can't always have what we want. In fairness he has given you a logical reason 'that they are too restrictive' for your relationship,that can be the case for certain lifestyles.I adore doggies and have two, they sail with life jackets and have their pass ports and travel everywhere we go. They came by chance, unplanned. Life changes, things happen, and who knows the future, forever is a long word.Animals and nature so clever, they know when something wrong, they can sniff out cancer, they just know things.I just love my two so much, if anything, I just think it a shame that some people miss out on this special experience, but we are all different and don't have to like or want the same things. Alternative, take a dog grooming course and work with dogs or something similar, if you need to be around animals aswell.
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (6 February 2019):
 It's not wrong if you totally love dogs, and it's not wrong if you can't conceive your life without one. It's very wrong that you cannot understand , accept and respect that other people may feel differently, and that if they prefer a dog-free or pet- free life, that's not a character flaw or a moral/ social fault that NEEDS to be fixed by any mean necessary. People like different things, you can't MAKE then love what you want ;and if you could- you should not. I mean, I guess that if you say " no sex until I get a pet ", or if you sulk and mope and cry all day , ...maybe a man crazily in love will relent and let you bring a dog home. Some people do really foolish things when they are in love, and will turn themselves into doormats for their partner. But, even supposing that your bf belongs to this category of hapless, spineless,. highly. vulnerable- to- emotional- blackmail lovers- that's the point. If you have an ounce of respect for your partner, you do not resort to manipulative or overbearing tactics to get your way . You don't MAKE them do or feel or accept anything that's against their own interest, inclination and best judgement ,so that YOU can win.
He spoke his mind, - and it went totally over your head , apparently. He said that he does not hate dogs,- and I am sure that he would not kill, hit or starve a dog-, but that he does not love them enough to put up with all the limitations and restrictions than being a dog owner implies.What's so unbelievable or weird in that ?. Dogs ARE restrictive, they are a big drain on your time, energy, wallet. They require committment, attention, WORK. They surely can damage your furniture, garden, clothing,personal belongings. Now, there's a lot of people , like you, who are passionate enough about dogs to be willing and able to put up with all the objective inconveniences, for the sake of having a canine companion ; but even more people who aren't passionate enough for that.
That does not make either group right or wrong, and neither group needs to be converted or pressured or nagged into changing their ways.
If you feel that your life can't be happy and complete without a dog- fine, you are surely entitled to feel so. But then, you are with the wrong guy. He may even be a wonderful guy under many other aspects, but a dealbreaker is a dealbreaker , so if no dogs is a dealbreaker for you, then break the deal, not your bf's b..ls, or his furniture .
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female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (6 February 2019):
 I can fully empathize with Code Warrior. I grew up with way too many pets - they nicknamed our house "Noah's Ark" because we had 2 dogs, 2 cats, 2 canaries, 2 gerbils, 2 fish, 2 horses, 2 foxes, a guinea pig, 2 MORE cats (outdoor barn cats), and finally, mice and lizards and scorpions who would find their way into our house without our permission. Pets are very destructive!
One of the greatest days of my life was to move out to a place that had NO pets! Out of my entire life, I got 11 glorious pet-free years. Then my husband and son started pushing me for pets. We compromised and got 2 cats. I too am not a dog person, having grown up with them and knowing that they are FAR from pure and definitely not better than people. Any animal who looks at a cat box and thinks "Oooh! Snacks!" are NOT better than people!
Anyways, you are entitled to your own preference, and you can even think that dogs are pure and better than humans or however else you see them, but you MUST respect your boyfriend's view of them as well.
You can't MAKE anyone love dogs! You said that you can't be with someone who doesn't ever want a dog. Well, you have to decide whether or not your boyfriend's attitude is a dealbreaker for you or not, but you MUST accept him for who he is. You have to decide if he is your future if he NEVER EVER changes his mind for his entire life. If you can't accept it, then don't waste your time with him anymore and find a guy who loves dogs just like you do.
It's a matter of compatibility. If your boyfriend puts up with dogs and pretends to change his mind about them, he will be living a lie. That isn't fair to either of you OR any future pets you have.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2019): I'm a dog and animal-lover myself. I think telling people animals are better makes you sound cuckoo. I don't get intimidated by animal-lovers who feel it is necessary to equate humans and lower animals; because they happen to have a cynical opinion of humanity. It's okay to make such a statement in a rhetorical-sense; but if you mean it, you don't need a boyfriend. Just get a dog.
I know animals don't display some of the negative-traits humans exhibit; but dogs bite, even when unprovoked. They can also turn on their masters without a real reason. It isn't true that they have to be mistreated. They simply might be the wrong breed for a particular type of handler.
Animals are creatures with feelings and emotions. However; they don't have or need complex-reasoning skills. They are either wild or domestic; in either state, let them be animals. Treat them with respect and kindness. As for humans, they can respond, seek vengeance, and reciprocate the treatment they receive based on intellect. They can also express how and why they feel the way they do. Animals can't. It's a ridiculous debate.
Keep all creatures in their proper place. If you prefer animals to humans, then don't force animals on those who don't share the same philosophy. You're free to have all the dogs and pets you please. It doesn't make people less in value; because you choose to think that way.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2019): Life lesson. You can't and neither should you try to force someone to think a certain way, love a certain thing, or change FOR YOU.
This is what compatibility is all about. This is what it means when people say 'We weren't compatible' or 'They weren't compatible'. It means that they wanted different things, didn't see eye to eye. And that's important in a relationship. Either he or you will be unhappy. So if he doesn't want a dog, you have to make a choice. If you try to force the situation, you may be ok and he may find he loves dogs, but if he wants a life style where he can go where he wants, when he wants without the restriction of an animal to care for, then he won't want this. And this will cause problems and unhappiness for one of you.
Decision time for you.
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reader, Honeypie +, writes (4 February 2019):
 You can't.
HE doesn't want a dog.
So what it comes down to is this, what is more important to you, getting a dog or staying with this guy?
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female
reader, mystiquek +, writes (4 February 2019):
 I dont think you are going to be able to talk him into suddenly wanting a dog. If he tells you he doesn't want a dog, believe him. Its sad but its pretty much either him or a dog but not both.
I love animals and I am particularly a cat lover. When I first started dating my now husband, he was very nervous about animals, he had never had a pet as a child. I had one cat at the time and I slowly introduced him to my baby (cat). The difference is that my husband was open to the idea of having a pet. He was a little intimidated by my cat but the day I came home and found both my husband asleep in the chair and my cat cuddled up in his lap, I knew my cat had won (lol). 17 years later we now have 3 cats. The other 2 showed up at our home as strays and my husband was the one who couldn't turn them away!
Find a man who loves dogs like you do sweetie. You will be much happier. I don't say that lightly, I know you love your guy but if you can't have a dog you won't be happy and if you do get a dog and stay with the boyfriend, it will cause problems down the road.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2019): I think the problem he had with what you said wasn't your comment about him not liking dogs. More of the fact that you feel they are better than humans. Did you stop to think how this made you bf feel? Does he treat you well? Cares for you? loves you?If it is a yes to all this then he might feel you meant he was an awful person too after all he does for you.Don't judge him because owning a dog for him is not a thing he would do but if he stops you from owning a pet then I'm afraid he isn't the one for you.I am a dog owner and I grew up with animals. My ex partner of 15 years never let me expand my pets. I owned my own home, I paid all of my bills and I wanted my dog to have company.I let him in the end, got my dog a sphinx cat and they are the best of friends. It brings me such joy seeing them play and cuddle each other and my dog is no longer lonely. They don't restrict my life in the slightest. I have a dog walker and sitter during the work week and i'm with them all weekend and weeknights. When I travel, they come with me.You have to ask yourself one question. What is the cost to you of being in this relationship.
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reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (4 February 2019):
 "How do I make him love dogs?" .... That's very immature, OP. How does he make you not love dogs? He can't. You can't change him either.Look, this is a deal breaker for most people - the same way having or not having children is an absolute deal breaker. You want them, he doesn't. End it.Not being funny, OP, but it's childish to think everyone should love dogs/cats/cars/travelling/etc. It's not difficult to understand why some people aren't keen, even if we adore something. Dogs can be messy, destructive, restrictive, expensive, have behavioural issues, have health issues, need lots of training, etc. People who love dogs and always want a dog can see past that, but some don't want dogs enough to deal with it and that's life. Be with someone you're compatible with.
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reader, chigirl  +, writes (4 February 2019):
 PS. I love animals myself, and we currently have two dogs. I could not imagine life without a pet. If I had a boyfriend who denied me having a pet, I would end the relationship. No joke. Yes, having pets is restrictive. But it's a way of life.
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reader, chigirl +, writes (4 February 2019):
Oh, honey, look, this is not the man for you. The question isn't how you can make him love dogs. You can't. The question is rather: shouldn't you find a boyfriend who loves dogs?
No man is Worth giving up Your dreams or desires for. If you love dogs, and want a dog, and believe they are better than people, then find a man who agrees with you! There are plenty of dog loving men out there!
I honestly think this is a deal breaker. Im sure he is lovely person and no offense to him at all, but I just dont think you and him are compatible as a couple. Not all people are a good match, simple as that, and no harm done in ending it and finding a more suitable partner.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2019): You can’t make him love dogs. You can’t change someone. I speak from personal experience. If you are setting out to change him it probably won’t work. I don’t hate dogs but I have never wanted one. I’m not a dog person and I don’t like the responsibility—it’s restrictive as your boyfriend says. If you are not compatible then you are just wasting your time trying to change someone. I have always been honest and upfront to my ex that I never want a dog, and it looks like your boyfriend is the honest straightforward type as well. Well, my ex thought he could get me to like dogs, and no matter how subtle or obvious he tried, it never worked. I just became annoyed and resentful he was forcing something on me that I did not want to be apart of when I ALREADY TOLD HIM it was a dealbreaker. And he was resentful he could not have something he has always wanted in life. We broke up. Don’t be like him!
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reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (4 February 2019):
 You can't force anyone to love anything. End of. He has been honest with you and told you he is not a dog person. Think of something you are really not into, then imagine someone telling you you MUST love it. How would that work?
I totally get your love for dogs (I love my dogs to the moon and back, they are part of my family) but going around saying things like "dogs are better than people" just gets people's backs up. Your boyfriend sounds a lot more mature and grounded than you. He realizes dog ownership is restrictive and requires commitment, and he is unwilling to pay this price for something he doesn't really want. That is HIS choice and you cannot force him to change his mind - especially with childish statements like "dogs are better than people". Perhaps if you learned to put your case more maturely, he might give it more consideration and work on some sort of a compromise?
If having a dog is so important to you (I am not knocking it because I too cannot imagine life without my dogs), and if your boyfriend is adamant he doesn't want a dog, then you need to consider which is more important to your happiness. You cannot FORCE him to think the same way as you do.
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