A
male
age
30-35,
*ataluke
writes:My girlfriend and I are wonderful together, we get along, we have a wonderful sex life and see each other every day. Sounds perfect right? Not quite.I like talking, I like conversation, I like expressing opinions, but she doesn't. My girlfriend hardly speaks during a conversation and there are often periods of silence between us and her responses are very limited. When I try and strike up a conversation. I then fill the silence with physical stuff but I don't want our relationship to be just that.I need to know how to get her to talk, she has never been a very talkative person, I want to get her out of her shell.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2011): Are you sure you want to be with someone that doesn't communicate with you? Hope you're not thinking of getting married to someone that can't give you a nice conversation, in my book communication is number one in a relationship.I think she's not talking is because she doesn't want you to get to know her, how else will you get to know someone if thy don't talk with you?My son's 37 yr old girlfriend didn't talk, he would bring her to our family gathering and she never talk to anyone and she had been coming around us for over two years, when someone cracked a joke then she would die laughing but never held a conversation or comunication with anyone, whenever I said something to her she always gave very short answers, for over two years we never got to know her. To make a long story short, I got her a job at the company where I work and that is when I got to know her. (THE REAL MCCOY)She wasn't on the job a month before she started sleeping with two of my work associates, she's sleeping with a 45 yr old man that has a wife and three children and she's also sleeping with a 26 yr old man but she's just using him for his money, he has no wife or children. She dumped my son for these guys. We never thought she would have done something like this, we thought she was just a quiet church woman because she goes to church every sunday.She fooled us big time.Good Luck To You
A
female
reader, scythe  +, writes (8 February 2011):
 Oh honey, you sound like the male version of me! I've been trying to get my boyfriend to talk with me more. I am slowly accepting that talking/chatting (and expressing emotions) is not in his nature.
Try playing 20 questions or "truth or dare" but without the dare part... ask her opinion on the latest news story, ask her to describe what she ate for lunch!
If it's not a big issue just try the things above. If it makes you feel sad that you don't communicate much then I'd tell her how you feel.
Let us know how it goes!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2011): Try to know what she is talking about with her friends.Anyway She like to stay with you ,so it's not a big issue.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2011): Well do you know if there are any reasons behind why she is quiet? Has she had a tendency of not talking in the past? You might just find she has never really been the talker. When your with her along with others do you find she talks more or less? Make sure you don't ignore her in conversations cause she might take that as a sign that you don't want her input in a conversation, it may sound stupid but you never know, so don't block her so the conversation is closed to her.It just might be she has nothing to say on the topic. Also she is probably too afraid to say anything just in case its shot down by others, so there could be a confidence issue, maybe you should try and find out what she likes in things like books, films, hobbies etc and see what conversations you have and what you have in common. Also, one more question is she the one you want to be with?Hope I have helped in someway :) all the best of luck
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2011): She sounds shy and timid. If you are a good talker she may find you a little intimidating. Be gentle and patient and do not be critical of what she does say. Ask her questions but don't make her answers a big deal in other words don't push her or overanalize her answers.
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A
male
reader, LovelessAct1  +, writes (6 February 2011):
What is it exactly that you try and get her to talk about? Politics? Current events? Religion or world views? If those are the sorts of things you like to converse about, maybe she feels uneducated on those topics and is too insecure to share her opinion.
Or maybe she is just not interested in the same things as you. I realize you said she has very few interests, but that can't be all true. There has to be something she finds passion in, something that she wants to know more about. If you can find out what that is, you'll have endless things to ask her about.
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A
male
reader, Dataluke +, writes (6 February 2011):
Dataluke is verified as being by the original poster of the question To FloridaCatGirlWe've been together for 8 months so I don't know how more opinionated she can get, but I will try your advice. Hopefully she will give me more of an opinion than 'it's alright' lol
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A
female
reader, FloridaCatGirl +, writes (6 February 2011):
 The best way to get her to talk is to ask her "open ended" questions, rather then questions that can be answered with a simple yes or no.
I suggest the two of you watch a movie, documentary, or news program together. Afterward, ask her what her thoughts are, and why. Another idea is to find a book that the two of you find interesting. After each chapter, get together and discuss your thoughts about the storyline, characters, issues, etc.
How long have you two been dating? After a while, she will feel more comfortable expressing her views and opinions. For some people, it takes a while before they feel comfortable opening up fully to another. She sounds like a great girlfriend, so keep working on it. Tell her you think highly of her, so you're really interested in hearing her opinions more often.
Good luck and let us know how things go!
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2011): Are you sure, she is what you are looking for in a girlfriend?
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A
female
reader, Blonde68 +, writes (6 February 2011):
Unfortunately she may be just that type of girl who doesn't talk much and doesn't have an opinion on things.
It can be extremely difficult to strike that even balance, because there are some people who talk far too much and you just wish they would shut up, then you have the quiet ones, just like your girlfriend.
Have you tried talking about things that are of interest to her? Try and start a conversation with several questions within it, at least then she has got to answer the questions you are asking. She may with time change, but I sense that she is just a quiet person and may always be that way.
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A
male
reader, Dataluke +, writes (6 February 2011):
Dataluke is verified as being by the original poster of the questionShe actually has very few interests, the only thing we tend to talk about is our friends, and there is only so much about them we can talk about.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2011): She may be just like that, quiet and not very talkative, you said yourself that she has never been like that. Have you ever noticed that when you talk to someone about something they love they come alive? What are you talking to her about is it something she is interested in?
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