A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes: when me and current flame started talking, i never thought things would get as serious as they have, and i deffinitely did not think they would last past a week or two. he was 2 years older than me and very very mature so i was worried since i was younger he would lose interest. i wasnt being very smart and decided to lie about my birthday so he wouldnt think i was so much younger. now i have a problem, we are very serious for each other and my real birthday is in only 3 weeks! i need to tell him becuase of course i want him at the party, and i dont want someone else mentioning it to him first! even though it doesnt seem like a big deal, we never lie to each other about anything! how should i tell him the truth when im worried hell be upset? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Duckyhelp  +, writes (16 July 2010):
 Tell him the truth, 2 years isnt a lot. Just make sure this is the only secret you have to tell him, and not to keep things from him. Once you have told him, it will be a shock to him, so expect him not to be happy and not talk to you for a bit, but give him space to think it through and he wont see it as a big deal.
A
female
reader, raiders +, writes (16 July 2010):
 You have to be honest with your boyfriend I don't think he is going to be to upset because I'm sure he has feelings for you too. Try to be honest with him and don't let him catch you in anymore lies because he will label you as a liar, and won't know which stories to believe.
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A
male
reader, TimmD +, writes (15 July 2010):
 You need to tell him the truth. There's no way around it. And let this be a lesson to you for the future.... you can't trick somebody into falling for you. Pretending to be someone you are not, or pretending to be a certain age that you are not, is doing just that... tricking them.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2010): Well I think if you are only two years younger then I would not worry about the age gap, coming clean though is very important. If you are very serious about the guy then you cannot just keep lying to him forever. It will be hard but if he is as serious about you as you are about him then he may understand and forgive you for the lie. For any relationship to work there needs to be complete trust because it is that trust that ties people together so that they can rely and depend on each other.Hope this helps!Good luck
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2010): Even if he's a little upset about the dishonesty in it, he shouldn't be upset about the age difference, and finding out your true age. After all, he's only 2 years older. Don't worry about any backlash, just tell him. You'll feel better about getting it off your chest, and unless there's an illegal age difference, there's absolutely nothing bad about being 2 years apart, in age. Trust me, I know alot of girls who've lied about how old they are, and they're still doing that when they're 30 or 40. When you're way older, like that, you'll notice that most guys are smart enough to never ask your age, anyway, because by then most guys have been told at some point or another that it's none of their business, or that the girl just isn't going to tell them. Alot of girls, not just you, aren't comfortable with divulging their exact age, so don't feel bad for taking a year off the true age. When you're 40, you'll probably still be saying you're 30 or 35. It's one of those things that guys know, so don't worry about his reaction. If he hasn't learned how alot of girls are secretive about their exact age, and to never ask a girl their exact age, he will when he finds out your real age, so it will benefit him anyway, and he'll know not to go there. You'll be doing him a favor by telling him your true age, because he'll realize it's not smart to ask a girl's age anyway, and that alot of girls aren't comfortable with making it general knowledge. It depends how much you like the guy, though. You might not want guys you aren't serious about to know your real age, but the more you are serious about him, the more it matters, because like you said, he's going to find out anyway. Just make sure that if any guys older than the legal age to be with you try to become close to you that you tell them your true age and that they're too old to be with you. If he can legally be with you, then go by how much you like him. You say you're both honest all the time, anyways, and you don't want to lose him because of this one thing, so just tell him casually that you're really younger than he thought, but tell him you don't care if he doesn't like it. Guys have to know not to cross the line in respecting how a girl feels about her age. He most likely knows that already, but if he doesn't, it will be a learning lesson for him anyway, so you'll be doing something positive for him by showing him you didn't want him to know your true age to begin with.
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A
female
reader, loraemoon +, writes (15 July 2010):
 well if your serious about eachother it relly is time to come clean if he finds out from someone else he will not be very happy and is reallygoing to start doubting you, i think he will understand why you did it, but only if it comes from you, if your serious i dont think he will worry to much
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A
male
reader, celestial  +, writes (15 July 2010):
Seriously, 2 years isn't much.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2010): I suggest just sitting him down and saying something along the lines of "I've got a mini confession - I've lied to you. Its not a big deal what I lied about but at the time i felt i had no choice because I liked you so much, so i thought it nessessary as i was feeling insecure and I didn't want to lose you. The lying really is the issue and I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me and that i can find some way of making it up to you. I have not lied to you about anything else and I am sorry for not trusting you with this but the truth is that I am really .... years old".
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (15 July 2010):
 And that's why you don't start a relationship with a lie.Tell him, he'll likely be upset, or may know you're lying already. It's best to come clean and apologize. If he really likes you, he'll forgive you. I don't get how you can say you never lie to eachother when you're asking how to fix a lie though. Take a deep look at yourself and see what other things you've lied to him about.
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