A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:Wondering if my boyfriend is going to be worth all the trouble he is causing. He's been in jail because his xwife lied, in court, about him sexually abusing his kids. He's had addictions up until a few years ago which have also gotten him in trouble with the law, and made it difficult to hold down a job. He owes alot of people alot of money. But he's trying to turn it around. He's getting counseling, has paid back a few of the loans, has a temporary job, and is working on second interview for a permanent one. The pay sucks, BUT IT'S A JOB.Lately he has been borrowing more and more money from me, and not paying it back as promised. His temper is short, and he's having fits of road rage. Yesterday, some papers that he had spent 20 min copying got wet (not stained), and he threw them across the room while swearing a blue streak.I'm worried that he is going back to his old ways. I think I love him, as he is now, but have been abused in the past and don't think that love is going to be there if he does.Am I being selfish ? Pessimistic (or as he says so fg negative) ? or realistic ? How long should I let the loans and other behaviour go on before it's time for me to move on ?
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in jail, money, move on Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2010): All the other Agony Aunts have said it all... please get out now before it is too late.
This is a very unhealthy relationship.
A
female
reader, loraemoon  +, writes (15 July 2010):
 i think its time to move on! you cant trust him why is he borrowing the money fri=om you in the first place? is it drugs you gotta ask yourself that question, i dont think he can be trusted completely
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2010): Get out of it before u get hurt, this guy had and has attitude problems, financial issues and is dragging u down with him. U can't afford to follow your heart here, just leave him and move on.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (15 July 2010):
I fear you're being more naive than anything. And I think you know it a bit and that's why you're here asking. Please look at the facts with this guy. He's borrowing more and more money, and paying none back. He's got a shocking temper, which could put you in danger. He's had addictions. He owes a lot of people money. To top it off, he's been jailed for abusing his kids. Not being funny, but how do you know that she lied? Did she tell you herself, or did he? Because unless you heard that from her mouth, given his past and present I'm not sure you can trust him.
I noticed you mentioned that you have been abused before. A lot of abused people have a huge tendency to go and find other abusers, because that's all they're used to. I think that's what you've done. I think you've gone from one abuser to another abuser. I think you need to move on now, to be honest.
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