A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:im 15-19 years oldive always had a confidence problem when it comes to girls and i dont really know why..i have loads of good friends that are girls and its fine in terms of that but when i start to like a girl it all completely cahnges..and i dont know whyim currently seeing a girl every now and then and we both like eachother but when were with eachother nothing ever happensi know its a boys duty to make the first move but i have no idea how to do this..even though when ive done stuff in the past i dont even know how its happenedshes said to me that she does really like me but every time i see her and nothing happens i feel pathetic and see it as almost a wasted ooppourtunityand i need to sort this out before she gets sick of it and the oppourtunies stop happeneing at all
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2010): I'm a 19 year old female so take my advise as you see fit.
Now, I'm a slow girl - very slow. My first kiss was at 18 years old from a jerk who shoved his disgusting tongue in my mouth and I hated it - still do, still have nightmares. This caused me to be very cautious.
A few weeks after my first horrible kiss, I found out that my best guy friend liked me. I liked him because he was a great guy and the night he asked me my response was "suure" because I was so nervous.
I didn't really want to kiss him because of my first experience but after a month I was the one who ended up kissing him - I aimed for his cheek but I missed and landed on his lips!!! How clumsy! Now I look back and laugh about it with him because what was entirely awkward has now - one year down the road - become natural.
So my advise is:
Take it slow, find out if she's ready for some sort of a relationship. You can ask her to be your girlfriend first and then get to the smooching, which is the old fashion way to go, or just kiss her.
I'd say kiss her on the cheek, that way she knows you like her but you want to be gentle with her and show her you aren't all about the physical stuff..maybe the next time kiss her or put your arm around her but you also have to accompany these actions with the right words.
Tell her she's cute, she looks nice, or something genuinely sweet. We love that kind of stuff.
Don't try to shove tongue down her throat - soft, slow kisses are the most romantic. Try a slow peck on the lips when walking her to the door, at the beach, or somewhere nice at night where you two can be alone - cars aren't as romantic as they seem and make for uncomfortable positioning.
Oh yes, and figure out if she's worth the trouble because many girls just like to tease at that age and once the guy makes a move they call them gross (this has happened a few times to my guy friends and it seems like what you may have described).
With that said, weigh the pros and cons of this young lady - she will impact your life's history and the stories you tell your grandchildren. Is she worthy of your time? If so, plan your attack and make everything you do worth while. The key is to impress her with your gentleness and consideration.
And most importantly, stay away from butt squeezing for the first few weeks.
Good luck dear.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2010): Newly married men sometimes get hit on a lot. Yeah, girls chase guys. It's not the ring on the finger. It's about attitude. The newly married man is content. He's not the pursuer anymore. He already has what he wants. Girls feel that nothing needs to happen when she flirts with him because he's married anyway. His judgement of her doesn't matter. You can be like the married man.
Forget about pursuing. It's not your 'duty' to make the first move. All you have to do, like the married man, is be content with yourself. Sit back and do nothing if you want. When you get worried that nothing's happening, that's when you need to remind yourself to stop the pursuing.
At first you will be discontent with yourself, but you have to keep stopping the pursuing so that you're (subconscious) mind figures out how to be happy with where and who you are right now. When you finally become content, that's when girls will start making the moves.
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A
female
reader, silentrose333  +, writes (30 April 2010):
 Don't feel pathetic for letting nothing happen between you both! Girls feel awkward around guys, and we usually like him to start the fire. It makes the girl feel special. You should feel confident, because inside, the girl you like probably feels like either running or turning away due to nervousness. Take control of the situation, and ask her to go somewhere fun with you. show her that you can be a cool, fun-loving person, and express yourself! Girls love guys they can relate to and talk to without feeling bad. females and males are two completely different types; not one understands the other. Unless you prove that you're capable of what may lie ahead, she won't know what to do.
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A
female
reader, mizz.butterflies +, writes (30 April 2010):
 suggest u take her somewhere new.....like see a movie or something...maybe at a fun park...make sure she enjoys herself....then sit down to have a drink......touch her hair...and look into her eyes....if she lets u do all this it means shes ready for the move! ask her "....do you want this?" if she nods,KISS HER! good luck
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A
female
reader, BunnyTee +, writes (30 April 2010):
 Oh you poor man....I'd bunny hug you if I could.. here's the deal: Stop putting so much pressure on yourself! Where is it written that you are obligated to make "something happen"? Take it for what it is....it's perfectly normal to just enjoy someone's company...nothing "must happen" Just relax and let off some. Did you ever think that girls may enjoy who you are and how you are simply because you don't pressure them for "something to happen"? The high pressure dudes are a dime a dozen, I'm happy to know you're not one of them. "Something will happen" when you least expect it if you just let happen on it's own. The right person, the right place, the right time will sneak up and bite you on the posterior, trust me.. Nature does a pretty good job with this stuff so let her do her work and ease up on yourself.
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A
female
reader, It's all be okay +, writes (30 April 2010):
It sounds like you're talking about physical moves?
I really wouldn't worry about this at all. You're quite young and it's not some kind of contest.
You say "nothing happens", but I presume you mean that you have an enjoyable evening, chatting, playing a game, going to the cinema, getting to know each other? That is not "nothing" - that's something!
Also, you say it's a "wasted opportunity" - again, this is not what it's about. The opportunity is actually spent getting to know your girlfriend, becoming friends, enjoying each other's company - that is much more important at this stage.
If it's meant to turn into something closer physically, it will. If you feel scared to do anything, then it'll be because it's not right. So just relax.
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A
female
reader, hpoco  +, writes (30 April 2010):
 I think you need to read old nike ads: just do it. Maybe, at first, set your goals low. Hold her hand, touch her leg, snuggle (have you done that at all yet?). After you have established some form of physical closeness, make up your mind to kiss her. It will be easier if her face is already close to yours. My first kiss with my first boyfriend was kind of on the side of the mouth, because we were both shy, but it was AMAZING! Don't worry too much about it being bad/good, just cuddle, then try! She will appreciate your boldness, just make up your mind to do it :-)
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A
female
reader, goowes +, writes (30 April 2010):
 Smile a lot, be funny, laugh at your nervousness tell her its because of her, compliment something about her. Get out of your own head focus on her. Tell yourself you are brave even if your not over and over until you are. Ask her to go get pop or something simple and above all know that getting rejected is 1 out of 5 for guys so find a way to be okay with no.
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A
female
reader, princessofGod43 +, writes (30 April 2010):
 well let's start with holding hands, sitting closely with her, a kiss on the cheek...and after a week a kiss on the mouth..before you see her in her house...YOU ARE THE MAN MY FRIEND...GO FOR IT!
GOD BLESS
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