A
female
age
36-40,
*laMich88
writes:I just turned 21 and my boyfriend is almost 29. I'm ready to party and get wild and just have fun! But he always says he had his time to party when he was "young and dumb" and all he cares about now is working working working! I wanna go out to the bar or the club and go to parties and get in Some kind of trouble,lol,but he doesn't ever want to do anything and I'm gettin bored. I love him to death...he's everything to me but I just wanna have some fun. You see he has already played the feild and partied like an animal and isn't up to much of that now that I'm 21 and can finally go out! The first 2 years of our relationship all he did was go out and I could never get in but now that I can get in, we don't do anything! What's the deal!? I don't want to work myself to death! I wanna have a girls night and have fun but he kinda slows me down a little. What should I do? I don't want to end it cuz we have already put in almost 4 years but I want to party a little. Is it bad that I imagine myself living with a girlfreind and goin out and meeting guys? I think of that a lot lately and I can't help it. I would never cheat on my boyfreind ever but I'm kiinda bored. How is it fair that he's already lived his life (as he says) but I can't live mine? Any advice on my situation? I don't want to leave him but daaaamn! Wtf do I do? Why has it slowed down now that I'm finally leeegal!? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, AlaMich88 +, writes (27 January 2010):
AlaMich88 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionLet me clarify that BIG time......I love my boyfriend will every beat of my heart and I don't know what id do without him. Its just the simple fact that I would like to enjoy being 21 by goin out with friends and doin my own thing on occasions. Sometimes yes I do feel that I got in this relationship a little too young and it would probably work out better if we had gotten together After I had the time to party and play the feild a little. All we do is work work work so I don't see the harm in going out maybe once a week or so to relieve some stress. I def. Don't want to leave him. I just wanna be 21 for a while!!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2010): If you have the urge to go out partying....do it. Your boyfriend did it when he was your age. Thats just how it is...rites of passage and all that jazz. Its far better to get it out of your system now, while you are 22 and have the freedom to do it.
Rather that, than settle way too young and be bitter/resentful that you missed out on things and end up as some do. Gussied up like teenagers at the age of 36, propping up bars with their `girlfriends` while hubby sits home with the kids, worried stupid because youve turned your phone off.
Ive sampled party life and sitting at home cuddled up on the sofa. I much prefer the latter. You need to discover that for yourself x
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (27 January 2010):
End it. If partying and fun mean more than him, which they do at your age, then you're wasting his time and yours. Move on from him, have all your fun, and then you'll find your Mr Right in the future.
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A
male
reader, redsox29 +, writes (27 January 2010):
I just went through this situation. And I got dumped. I'm 29 and she was 22. She still had a lot of party in her and I don't like the bar because I've seen first hand what happens at the bar and I want no part of it.
If you want to go out and "get in some kind of trouble", don't waste his time. Clearly he thought you are someone that he could really build something special with after 4 years, but if you really can think about prioritizing going out and partying over him, he deserves more than you can give him. I can understand youre side, I really can, but after the bar closes and after the party is over, can you really say that you don't care that he won't be there? After the last 4 years, you won't have him to talk to, to listen to you if you're stressed, to cuddle up next to you before you go to sleep, to send you a message during the day that he is thinking about you and that he loves you. Is the bar really worth all that to you?
There is nothing wrong with you going out for a girls night, it's necessary, just like he may need a guys night every once and a while, but when you do, make sure he still knows that you're thinking about him and that you love him. My ex didn't and it created this feeling of me not being able to trust her when she went out.
And yes, if you imagine yourself living with a gf and meeting guys, that's bad. Being bored may not have as much to do with your bf as you think, look closer and you may find it's not just him. But if you really want to just go bar hopping with gf's, do it.
But if you let him go, you may realize down the road that you've made a huge mistake and he won't be there for you after the bar closes. I wouldn't.
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