A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid,I found out yesterday that the guy I’m with is married and has a child. I blocked him in wechat and whatsapp.It was such a disastrous feeling with I saw his Facebook of his wife and the child’s photos and not forgetting his wedding photos.I sent him a note before I deleted him. I didn’t tell him much but I told him that he was being dishonest to me and I didn’t want to continue chatting with him. I wished him all the best and take care. And he resent me multiple times of friend requests which I ignored. Then he sent me a note saying me being childish. I blocked him right away.Should I let him to explain before I blocked him? We are in long distance relationship by the way.Thanks
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, fishdish  +, writes (5 September 2016):
 What possible explanation can justify or pacify you in this? What a waste of your time he has been! There's nothing here for you.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2016): He called you childish because he wants to guilt you into believing 'adults' have affairs so get over it. Don't be a part of his game. You're better than that.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2016): You have all the explanation you need. He's married with kids.
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (2 September 2016):
 What reasonably explanation could there be for this?
And the fact that he calls you childish when he's caught doing the wrong thing says a lot about him.
He has nothing to say that you need to hear. So far you've handled this perfectly. So leave it on a high note, grieve privately and move on.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (2 September 2016):
 What explanation do you think he can give that would in any way shape or form be acceptable when he is trying to cheat on his wife and kids? AND YOU?
There isn't one.
No, keep him blocked and move on.
The fact that he also went on the offensive when you told him (in a WAY nice way) that you wanted nothing more to do with him - he CALLED you childish. That means he thinks what he was doing is totally OK, and that YOU should just suck it up. Why on Earth should you do that? Should his wife also JUST suck it up?
OP, don't second guess yourself. YOU did the right thing. Let him go and BE glad you didn't WASTE any more time, effort, energy and emotions on this guy.
You CAN do so much better and you DESERVE better treatment.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2016): What explanation can he give that will be a satisfactory one? He has lied, and no explanation can make that fact go away.
He shouldn't be given any opportunity to manipulate the situation. You said your words to him, let him figure it out...or not. Don't care about him.
I can understand you may need some form of closure but this is not something his explanation can give you.His explanation would be to cover for himself.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2016): No right or wrong.Sometimes we need closure and need to catch somebody in the act so to speak. Make them own up to their actions. Make sure they know what an asshole they are.I am different with my thought process. I would confront him and give him a piece of my mind. Why let him get away with it and walk away quietly? After he used me? Lied to me? Those are pathetic things to do to another human being. And let's not even bring the wife into the equation.Some women would go so far as to tell his wife.Again, no right or wrong.You will decide what you think his pay back will be.Ignoring him or turning his world upside down.But I can tell you that ignoring him will do nothing. He will happily move onto his next target. Remember that.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (2 September 2016):
 No he should not be permitted to "explain"
Blocking him was the correct thing to do.
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A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan  +, writes (2 September 2016):
He's married with a child: what is there to explain? He lied to you and is lying to them presumably. Even if they are separated, he still lied about his child. Really, that's all you need to know. Forget about him and move on.
I wish you all the very best.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2016): I agree with the everyone else don't contact him. You have everything to lose and nothing to gain. If you contact him you'll be giving him an "in" with you and he'll do one of two things:a) Give you some BS about how his marriage is over and his wife is a tyrant who doesn't understand him etc. You'll be tempted to believe him and end up his "bit on the side".b) He'll be unpleasant towards you to punish you for blocking him and you'll end up feeling even worse than you do now.What SHOULD but WON'T happen is that he tells you how sorry he is for stringing you along and that he's an arrogant, selfish person just looking for attention and sex. He's already called you childish (which you clearly aren't) so he sounds very entitled.It's much more empowering to move on and not look back. He's not worth another second of your time.
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A
female
reader, mystiquek +, writes (2 September 2016):
 No you're better off just walking away and putting this experience in the rear view mirror. If you give him a chance to explain it will only leave the door open for more lies. What could he possibly say? You dodged a bullet.
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (2 September 2016):
 No.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (2 September 2016):
 No, don't bother.
He did lie to you. And, even supposing he had a good reason to lie ( I cannot think of one, though ) he STILL is married and therefore of no use to you.
I also don't like that - in case he had some sort of not totally dishonest reason for concealing the truth -he cannot understand how you would be legitimately angry, sad and shocked in finding this out, so rather than groveling to you, hat in hand, for his chamce to explain himself, he cops an attitude and calls you " childish ".
You don't need the aggravation, trust me.
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