Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, auntyR  +, writes (30 April 2011):
before you even have sex with him, go and buy yourself a sex toy. It will prepare you for the feeliing of having a man's penis inside of you again. Make sure you use condoms when it comes to being with him and just be honest with him. You don't have to tell him how long, just say it's been a while so let's go slow and gentle. Some guys can get carried away with the moment and get too fast and hard. so just take your time and relax and enjoy. Don't worry if you don't reach the big O either.
A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (30 April 2011):
 It will be like 20 years ago. The fact you say "I am sure HE will want to have sex soon" sounds like you feel sex is a chore. What is your history and why are you down on sex. To go without sex for 20 years is a choice. Women can get sex when ever they choose so I'm curious to know wht you've chosen not to. What turned you off sex?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2011): Dont be horrified. Its supposed to be fun! Talk to your partner and explain that you feel a little nervous. I had a spell when nothing was 'going on' but honestly its like riding a bike. You never forget how to do it. Once you have had a chat with him and overcome those nerves you will be fine. Just make sure its what you really want and dont be pressured into anything. Take control of the situation and when YOU are ready, set the scene and ask for a nice back massage. That will relax you and im sure it will lead to something more!!
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A
male
reader, Hugh.J +, writes (30 April 2011):
 Just be honest with him about this; he will understand and be gentle with you.
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A
female
reader, Eyespy17  +, writes (30 April 2011):
Is the man you are dating in your age group? 55?
My one piece of advice is to make sure he uses a condom!! I'm not sure how common they were 20 years ago - but don't let awkwardness get in the way.
Also I'd have lube on hand - as you may be nervous and tense. They make a fun K Y his and hers.
Good luck.
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