A
female
age
41-50,
*equilla
writes:HiI am 37 and gave birth to my second child by Cesarean Section 7 weeks ago. Ever since I came back home from the hospital, I have fallen desperately for my ob-gyn. I spend all the time thinking about him, dreaming about him and imagining myself with him. This is driving me crazy as I just can’t get him out of head.I have met him so many times during my pregnancy but I never had such feelings for him. On the contrary, I used to tell everyone that I find him reserved and uncommunicative, and I did not really connect with him. During my whole pregnancy, I regretted my previous ob-gyn and wished he had not retired the previous year. And now, I am in love with him. This is irrational, and I am not used to such behavior.I don’t have a clue how it all started but all I know is that I can’t stop thinking about him now. It’s as if I am under a spell.I had my check-up a week ago and I had been preparing myself during a whole week, like a young girl on her first date ….. I went for a haircut, done my nails, …. And then when we met, it was a big disappointment. The anticlimax. He was polite and may be a bit more talkative than usual, but nothing more. I had spent days dreaming about our encounter. But, unlike what I expected, he did not give any sign that the feeling was reciprocal. I was so disappointed. And relieved at the same time, as I thought that this would make me get over him, and I would start behaving like a normal, rational person again.But when I got back home, the disappointment vanished and I found myself craving for him even more. I even wanted to invent some health problem so I could have an excuse to see him sooner. My next appointment with him is due in 6 months and I don’t feel I can wait that long to see him again.I have been with my husband for more than 10 years. I love him and am very happy with him. We normally share everything but I haven’t discussed this with him, because knowing him, he may think that this is a sign that I am unhappy and that I am kind of looking for fresh air.If anybody has been through this and knows how to break this enchantment, please help. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2012): This is not right for you. It is not a proper situation. You are married with a husband that gave you two children. You need to realize that your relationship is medically professional. In the final analysis, does he care for you? He most likely has his own wife and family. Don't be stupid! Get on with taking care of your kids.
A
female
reader, maverick494  +, writes (13 February 2012):
I think it's a crush. A few years ago I was infatuated with a married man. It just happened one day, whereas I had never had feelings for him like that before. And then suddenly, just like that, BAM, I was infatuated with the guy. I daydreamed about him like a teen. I knew he was happy with his wife, so I forced myself not to bother him with my irrational feelings and though it was hard, they ebbed away after a while.
So focus on that. Don't dress up for him, don't do anything you wouldn't do for a vague acquaintance. You have to change your mindset. Remind yourself of the reasons he wouldn't be the right guy for you. Make him as unattractive as you can. And then grit your teeth.
In the meantime, spend more time with your husband and children doing nice things, going places. Remember why you married him, why you love him. How much you love your family. The mind is a powerful tool, you can wield it if you are determined enough.
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A
female
reader, Tequilla +, writes (13 February 2012):
Tequilla is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much for all the advice. The craving is still here and but it sure feels better knowing that it could be only my hormones going nuts.
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A
female
reader, Nonamus +, writes (13 February 2012):
I was attracted to my dr. I think it's because of the attention he gave me when I saw him. It will pass.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2012): if you really know what's good for you, you would get a new OBGYN. or.. hope that your hormonal balance kicks back in before your next visit
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (12 February 2012):
I honestly think it might just be your hormones. I decided to go off birth control one month and I was thinking nonstop about a coworker of mine. I always thought he was cute and nice but he's married and I never had any sort of "romantic" feelings toward him. When I was off the pill I was darn near obsessed with him and thinking things I should NOT have been thinking about with him. I purposely came to work looking nice so I could look more attractive to him and all this and that. I had to call my best friend one day and ask her, "What the hell is wrong with me?!"
Now back on the pill...things are back to the way before--completely platonic. I literally felt crazy and out of control. Almost like an adolescent boy that could not stop thinking about sex all day long, particularly with him. Now I feel back to normal and no urges to do anything irrational and stupid. So it could quite possibly be that giving birth 7-weeks ago has your hormones all over the place, they can be quite powerful.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2012): Don't worry too much abut these feelings...it's all hormonal. My girlfriend experienced the exact same thing after the birth of her son in a previous marriage. She developed irrational feelings of attraction for her OB/Gyn, and she was rather bemused why this happened since she never found him that attractive. It's all hormonal. You probably feel like some urge has taken over your mind, but these feeling will go away on its own.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (12 February 2012):
 Oh dear!!!
Really you know this is irrational and I think you are just letting your imagination run riot.
You have just had a baby and that as well as a cesarian section can leave you feeling emotional and vulnerable. People see doctors and nurses in an unusual way because of ten they are very caring people who are dealing with very intimate issues. It is their job and nothing more.
Maybe the extra attention you recieved has made you crave more but it just isn't ever going to go anywhere.
I would try hard to focus on your own family, be thankful that you and your baby are well and that you have a loving husband who cares about you. Fantasising over someone who has nothing to do with you and never will can make you become very depressed, so you just need to remind yourself that it isnt real and that you need to move on.
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