A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am 18, at uni and fed up! I've only had one boyfriend (being single at the moment) and he constantly pressured me for sex, which at the time I was not prepared to give him.I have a very negative self-image (can't bear to catch sight of myself in the mirror!) as I am a bit overweight, but I can't even see anything to like about myself underneath the weight.I would love to have sex with people, but the idea appalls me, mostly because I can't bear to let my guard down, e.g. being seen naked.What on earth can I do to resolve these stupid issues?!I'm fed up with being the only virgin out of all my friends!
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male
reader, rubberduck +, writes (21 March 2007):
first things first. when a guy meets you he checks out your face, speeks to you for a while untill the perfect oppertunity to check out the full package, ie when you turn around. if he dusnt like that the chances are the flirting stops there so he knows full well what hes getting. when he sees you without your clothes the most likely scenario is that hell be releived that its not as bad as he thinks.
secondly, why would there be anything under the weight. men are not dogs, we doo not always chase bones (skinny girls) sometimes we go for something with a little more to hold onto. do not be held down by this image of the idealised woman. its different for everyone.
insecure girls are NOT a turn on. be confident. remember when men look at you there checking the whole package, they can see what they get if they dont like it they wont persue it.
A
female
reader, agony aunt j +, writes (17 March 2007):
 You've probably heard the saying that its whats on the inside that counts right? Well, I know that thats not particularly helpful, although it is true. I mean, look at Queen latifa! I know that may seem like a weird example, but she's not slim and yet i think she's gorjus! Her personality is bubbly and sassy and just because your not slim doesn't mean you cant be beautiful. Try and be more confident in yourself, and if it's really a problem maybe try and cut down on the amount of fatty foods you eat and do some exercise. as long as youre not unhealthily big, your size doesn't matter. and if you are it shouldnt matter to guys - your true love will like you for you and although you might feel self consious about your weight, it's really not worth the pain. you are who you are and you cant cange that. everyone is special, so just be yourself.take it slowly, thoug, dont ever be pressured into sex! wait til your ready.:):)
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A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (16 March 2007):
 You need to think positive and feel more confident about yourself. Go to a gym and firm up, cut down on what you eat and leave out all the junk and fats. Take up a sport, go running, cycling, swimming or something you enjoy doing. Everyone is unique and we ALL have beautiful qualities and attributes, you just aren't bringing yours out because you feel so insecure. Here are a couple of links to help you with your self confidence and self esteem.
http://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence
http://pickbrains.com/how-do-i-build-up-my-confidence
http://www.selfesteem4women.com/index.php
http://pickbrains.com/how-to-build-self-confidence
Talk positively about yourself and never put yourself down in front of others. Walk proud, with your head and shoulders back as this will help your posture and you'll eminate confidence and assertiveness doing this. Everyone has things about them they don't like, they just cover it up better than you do so don't feel inferior to anyone. BELIEVE in yourself more, smile and always have a positive outlook, that way you'll draw people to you. There is nothing worse for a guy to see a girl who always looks as if she's in a bad mood!
You CAN do this! Read the links and put them into practice, be choosy about who you date and don't be too quick to lose your virginity, be proud that you have morals! Before you know it you'll have guys eating out of the palm of your hand.
Eve
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