A
female
age
30-35,
*mcurioustoo
writes:My boyfriend has no job, no money and won't make an effort to even try to get a job. He'd rather smoke pot, I take us out everywhere we go.. I pay! Im tired of it.. How do I convince him to get a job?... I mean he loves me and is there for me but I am the one who pays for things.. Any suggestions?
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (15 July 2009):
 Sorry but if he isn't the very definition of a moocher I'm sure I don't know what is. People are only taken advantage of because they allow it. If you are really sick of it then stop being his meal ticket otherwise he has absolutely no incentive to get a job. There is no law that says a pleasant fellow can't also be a moocher.
A
female
reader, imcurioustoo +, writes (15 July 2009):
imcurioustoo is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIt isn't as though he's a moocher because he isn't he always makes sure to say thank you and everything, he's a wonderful person and just a sweet guy, but just doesn't work.
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A
female
reader, Jayney Y  +, writes (15 July 2009):
 Agh! Real men dont let girls pay their way! And potheads dont love anyone as much as they love pot. I'd be giving him the word about quitting the pot smoking if he wants to stay with you, and then let him make the choice.
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A
female
reader, sugar_sugar +, writes (15 July 2009):
 Yes.
Stop paying for him. That simple. Unless he's growing his own pot then he's getting the money for that from somewhere. Interesting priorities, mooching off his girlfriend so he can save his own money for pot?
Niceness doesn't build a life with someone. Drive, motivation and consideration are pretty important in a relationship.
I'm guessing if you're like most other 18 - 21 year olds you aren't working the kind of job that allows you to comfortably pay for someone elses life. And even if you are, clearly you don't want to be.
Why would he need to get a job when you're still paying for him? Maybe ceasing the flow of money will motivate him, but either way - is this a guy you really want to settle down with????
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