A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So I'm in a very happy relationship with my boyfriend of 3 years. We love each other and don't ever plan to break up. However, I've had a crush on one of his friends from school for longer than I've been with my boyfriend, and it's really been bothering me lately. The other guy and I have been friends for a long time and we still hang out sometimes. I really enjoy his company and we're eerily similar in a lot of ways. I'm just super curious to see if he returns any of my feelings. Not knowing one way or the other is killing me. I'm thinking about just kissing him on the cheek to see how he reacts so I don't have to flesh the whole thing out with this guy. Any advice on how to do this? Is it a bad idea to even try?
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male
reader, Philips  +, writes (26 July 2011):
 Sure act on it, then come back here and tell us how you regret cheating on your bf and ask us advice to save your couple.
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (26 July 2011):
 If you have no plans of breaking up with your boyfriend I better tell you what appears as obvious to anyone else: if you try to test this guy's feelings for you, or flirt with him (which is in effect what you are doing already) it WILL cause the end of your relationship.
Take your pick, your relationship or flirting with this other guy to see where it goes.
Not knowing whether or not he likes you does NOT kill you. If you valued your relationship you wouldn't care the least either way. Because really, why would it matter to you? You have no plans of leaving your boyfriend, so just let it be and find something else to concern yourself with.
And, it's his friend... what a cliché. How perfectly wonderful for a dramatical soap opera. Excuse the sarcasm, but that's what this is, unimportant drama.
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A
female
reader, StephJayne +, writes (26 July 2011):
 It's just a crush! When I've been with my boyfriend, I'd look at his mates and think 'Wow he is fit!' or think that he has a really nice personality.. Then later that day I'd have a look at him on facebook haha..
But it really is just a crush! I wouldn't act on it, I'd just get over it. It sounds like you've got such an amazing relationship with your boyfriend
and like you've said
'We love each other and don't ever plan to break up'
Then don't break up! You'd be silly to act on it and probably ruin your current relationship
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A
male
reader, 2old4this +, writes (26 July 2011):
 Every now and then, a person who is in a commited relationship is tested by other people. That person first has to ask themselves if it is really worth losing what I already have to go after or try something else? If you find yourself in a situation where you have to try something else then you have to break up with the one your with before you even try. Thats the best way to go. The truth, but no details. Unless you realize that it aint worth it, but thats up to you.
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (26 July 2011):
 "We love each other and don't ever plan to break up."
Then don't be an idiot.
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A
male
reader, mrg123 +, writes (26 July 2011):
 Personally, I think it is a bad idea to try why your in a relationship because I can see it so easily becoming a slippery slope which, especially if he does return those feelings, you will end up cascading down at quite a pace. If everything is as good as you say it is with your boyfriend you have to make some serious efforts to bury these feelings because they could so end up wrecking this relationship and from what you say here you really don't want that.
You have to ask yourself this; is it really worth potentially losing this relationship just to satisfy your curiosity. I can understand why that makes you feel like the way it does and your feelings for this person are obviously unresolved largely because there is still that 'what if' hanging in your mind but I think you have to focus on what you have got and every time you have these feelings/urges to do something with your crush try and shift your focus to that. That should be enough. If it isn't then you may have to end up asking some serious questions about the relationship your in but I really think this simply isn't worth it just to satisfy your curiosity. Good luck :)x
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A
female
reader, DanceInTheDark  +, writes (26 July 2011):
 How would you feel if your boyfriend was in the same situation and did that?
Theres your answer.
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