A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Let me just get straight to the point, I hate university, and i'm only there to make my parents happy. They know that. I've tried telling them so many times that i'm literally depressed there. I still live at home and travel up every morning, but I hate it! I know what else I want to do, I have a job, so if I quit university I can have that temporaraly. It's not as if I will be living off them. My question is, how do I make them see how much I hate it? I don't want to cause a big family argument, so any ideas would be great. Have any of you been in the same situation? If so what did you do? Thanks everyone xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2011): There is a lot about university life to hate. I was thrilled when i finally got my degree and got out... but please stick with it. This might not be what your profs and the university tell you, but the degree doesn't necessarily mean you are an expert. It is however your passcard for so many things later in life.
A degree tends to be a prerequisite for any job that is above an entry level position. You might think you don't need it at the moment because you can get an entry level job without it...and honestly at your age the pay scale wouldn't be that different between you and a graduate... but it will be more and more important as you get older and if you want to progress in anything you've chosen to do. If you have no degree, you are at a disadvantage in the job pool. You only need to look at statistics of income and degree to find where you'll end up financially in 10 years.
I'm opinionated about this only because I met too many people in their late 20s trying to finish school without family support because they had dropped out at your age. It is so much harder to do it later.
I understand why you feel why the stuff you are learning isn't applicable. I went into professional/trade orientated program and even then, I found out after the fact that even that program wasn't representative of the real world. All subjects are this way...it is the top #1 complaint of a graduate from ANY field. School doesn't represent the real world.
Try think about it this way: this is may perhaps be the last time in your life where you get to choose to some degree what you want to study and have an opportunity to do it with your peers. I'm not saying you won't learn anything later on in life, but the environment is incredibly important. Please stick it out, it's worth it.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2011): I know what you're going through. When I thought about studying law, I thought I'd be examining procedures, and learning how to enact justice. This isn't the case. I'm learning about history, and maths (both of which aren't my strong points at all) I'm seriously considering dropping out.
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female
reader, Glastogirl2010 +, writes (2 March 2011):
Hey. I know you.
Yes, you.
You're my reflection.
Seriously, it's like looking through a mirror and seeing my own reflection when I read your problem. Trust me, I'm going through the exact same problem as you.
When I first applied for Psychology at university, I dreamed about the lectures, and studying the human mind and behaviour and attitudes and other things like cognitive dissonance, phobias, reactions... However, the laugh was on me when I discovered that my course was a Science course (And trust me, I'm certainly NOT a fan of science of any kind - I spent the majority of my school life avoiding science subjects). I desperately wanted to study psychology and sociology and other social sciences like that, but I remained in the course I was in. Mostly because it's my first year and I didn't want to complicate things with the uiversity or my finances. SO, I complained non-stop to my parents about the coursework being too difficult, the lectures being too difficult to understand and being too boring... but at the end of trimester one, I received rather good grades. I've convinced myself to stick to it, despite whatever is being thrown at me, because I know it will be worthwhile in the end.
What I'm basically trying to say is stick in! Sure, the lectures may be dull, the coursework may seem pointless, and the exams being what they are but nobody said university was going to be easy, am I right? I'm not saying you should chain yourself to a desk and study every hour and exhaust yourself to death, but simply try your best with class tests and coursework and exams and you should be okay :) However, if you really, really, REALLY are desperate to leave, then I recommend speaking to your parents or to a career advisor at the uni.
I know you'll do okay. Good luck.
~ Glastogirl2010
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2010): hey i totally understand what you are going through. i hate it so much i cant even get myself to go to bed early just becuase i have to wake up to go to university the next day and be bored and very very depressed. i hate it so much i count down the days to the next holiday. i also have told my parents time and time again but they just dont understand how unhappy i am so if you get an answer i would love to hear it, we need to stick together! lol :)
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2010): Hi! I'm a parent of a girl, who is on university right now,and hates it to death! She is complaining from the beginning, but yes,we are trying to tell her not to give up! We did have a lots of fight over this,as it was financially very hard for us to pay for everything and set her up. But the problem is,that if she quit,all that money goes wasted,and she is not building a bright future. It is true, if you know what you want, than there is a good reason to quit, but if you are just hanging with no plans university is a better solution,than some hard job, what they dont even pay you well, and based on your education, you can never get out from there. So ,yes ,there is two sides in this argument, not everybody who drops out can tell about happy endings. But if you are depressed, you can't force it now. Maybe try to take easy courses,and more exciting ones. But no rush!! Good luck!
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male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (11 January 2010):
You need to know why you hate it so much before you tell your parents, because they will come out with all sorts of useless reasoning to make you stay there. I actually didn't even bother going in the end because I was so depressed and just wanted to get out in the real world. Now I'm 22 and I've just started my own company. Work out why you don't like it, talk to them about it, then work out what you might like to do instead. But don't waste time doing something you hate. It will make you depressed and ill. Good luck.
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reader, Auriaya +, writes (11 January 2010):
I've been through this myself and totally understand how upsetting being in something you hate can be . I went through college and decided to head to Uni and give that a try- tried it hated it and wanted to drop out. Told my parents- one accepted it the other went nuts and told me I was throwing my life away. Eventually i caved and stayed on to the end of the year to keep my mum happy but i hated it even more because i knew i was only there because of someone else.
I think the easiest way to break it down for them is to think why you hate it, is it the learning style? the course? and focus on that. Your parents might not still understand properly that Uni just isnt for you but at least you can say to youself that you have gave it a fair go and that they will accept your decision in the long run.
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reader, old-spinstah +, writes (11 January 2010):
It might be useful for you to consider why you hate it so much.
I was in exactly the same position more years ago than I care to remember. My parents had big plans for me but I didn't do as well in my A levels as they had hoped. I felt pressured into accepting the 1st place that was offered to me. I was horribly homesick which wasn't helped by the fact that I had little interest in my course and had difficulty in keeping up with the others and in applying myself. I became very depressed. My parents knew this but encouraged me to stick it out.
This was the 1st time that I realised that my parents didn't understand my immediate needs. I went to my personal tutor and explained how depressed I was as well as getting help from the student's health service. I agreed with my tutor that I could hold my university place for 18 months and then return. I explained that this would help me sort out my "personal issues" and give me the opportunity to catch up academically so I could major in a different subject.
Deep down I knew that I would never be returning but I knew damn well my parents would never have agreed to my dropping out without this plan to show that I had not given up on further education altogether. I knew how important it is for them.
I will admit to also playing the emotional blackmail card and saying that I understood how disappointed they were with me and if I wasn't welcome to come home while I looked for work I would go and stay with my sister. (She lived in a squat in London at the time and I knew that they would let me come home rather than live there.)
I moved back home, got a job - which I loved and then I realised that I simply hadn't found my niche. (How are young people expected to find their niche at 19??) 3 years later I was back studying - totally different college, totally different course (something I never would have dreamed of doing!) and I've never looked back. My parents were a little taken aback at this sudden "career change" and a little skeptical at 1st but I made 'em proud.
When I dropped out of Uni it was the 1st time I'd ever stood up to my parents. And I know it was the right decision and that make me proud!
Hope this inspires you some.
Good luck
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female
reader, Anonny +, writes (11 January 2010):
Do you have long to do at university? - Sometimes, although it seems heavy going, you may only have a few months left to do - and it would be worth sticking at it - if it means coming out with a degree.
Have you considered why you hate it so much?? Maybe if you moved onto campus to be with your friends - or changed courses you may be happier!
Whatever you choose to do - do what is best and right for you! - Just remember this though - university courses only last 2 or 3 years at the most - you could leave and be stuck in some dead end job until you retire - with no chance of getting a better one in this current recession!! - So think wisely!
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