A
female
age
30-35,
*mmaxbaby
writes:Im 18 and hes 40 and where having an affair, i hate it when he has to go to his wife, help?First of all he told me got divorced at christmas and he was 2 kids who are 3 and 7 who live with the mum, then he finally admited he was still married and we still are seeing each other, its mainly just a sex relationship, but its amazing and he texts me everydaybut i hate it when he cant see/talk 2 me cos his wifes around, what can i do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2009): another married man bited the dust?.........only if you dump him. you hate it when he goes to his wife, darling his wife is his priority, so are his kids. 18, so young and so immature. he lies because he knows you will swallow anything. he lies because he can and he lies becasue you let him. what do you want with this 40 ys old anyway. his finances, i am sure you just love the gifts he gets you, in exchange of the sex. let me give you a life lesson you should not forget: as a mistress you know the score, you should provide the goods, enjoy the expensive gifts, enjoy being the f*ck buddy, listen to him, pamper him, stroke his ego, do not make demands on him, do not connive and manipulate him to leave his wife. the moment you start acting like a wife he will dump you and replace you. oh, the lies about him not f*cking his wife, don't be fooled. ALL married men f*ck their wives, it is only the mistress who naively believes otherwise. mistresses must not complain, it is written in the books what a mistresses role is, the expectations, the rewards and ultimately the fall. if you believe your fairy tale will end differently please read all the stories here. its time for an eye opener. what you do with the info is up to you, at least you cannot say i have not been warned.
A
female
reader, QuirkLady  +, writes (28 June 2009):
 Leave him. He lied to you and he's lying to his wife everyday. Why waste time with a guy that you can't trust?
The irony of a cheating married man talking about how truthful he is slays me. Didn't you vow to forsake all others?
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A
female
reader, babymama99 +, writes (28 June 2009):
 What do you do. End this one sided "relationship", Get you a man of your own, and don't date anyone else's husband ever again. as soon as he told you he was still married you should have turned out the lights and exited stage right. the show is over. if you want a man that can talk to you and see you at anytime you need to get a man that does not already have an existing FAMILY.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2009): Dump him .... hes a creep and to date a man with two children 3 and 7 mmmm thats not to nice of you either !
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2009): I think you should end it. Easier said than said done, but it's only you that will end up getting hurt in the end. Get out of it now.
You say it's mainly a sex relationship, so I'm sure his feelings for you doesn't go much further than lust.
Even if he does love you (which sounds unlikely as you said it's sex based), then it still won't change anything. He is not going to leave his wife for you. He's enjoying 'having his cake and eating it too'
You can't keep holding on to the hope that one day he'll leave his wife for you, and even if he did (which I'm sure he won't as he said he would before and he's STILL there) then it's not likely to work. His family will be torn apart and resentment WILL build up. Either way it's not looking pretty.
Please do yourself and his family a favour and finish it. If he's available in the future (if they break up for reasons OTHER than cheating) and you two feel the same, only then it will be fine to go after him.
Move on with your life and focus on other things, I'm sure a nice guy your own age will come along.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2009): Please leave him and don't even regret doing it. You got too much ahead of you for you to scounder your young life with this lie. He should have told you from the beginning he is married and let you decide. I am not against your age difference. See him as a liar. I am having in a relation a woman with a child. She is 20 years younger than me. But I told her my situation (i am married) and she accepted it. I love her dearly and I know she may have some reservation about the situation, but she is my women at this time she constantly reminded me. She even told me i am the most trust person in all her past relationships and friends. Relationship is based on respect and trust. I never treated her like I know best because of my age. We are equal. Sometimes she would say, I trust some your judgment because of your experience in life. But this is from her, not from me. I never lied to her.
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A
female
reader, TheAgonyAunt +, writes (27 June 2009):
 First of all this is not a healthy relationship, your young, 18 and have your whole life ahead of you and he's married, 40 and has 2 kids.. Don't you feel the slightest bit ashamed that he has a wife? How would you feel if that was you?I'm not trying to have ago at you but I'm just trying to make you see that your worth more than that.=)xx
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A
female
reader, Original shiraz! +, writes (27 June 2009):
You ask all the wrong questions, you avoid the truth as what you have is based on lies. Im fair in my advice but you understand why you will get negative responses?
Not to metion the age, the fact hes married or the fact that he has kids, your mind is on something else.
You miss him when hes with his wife, do you have a future with this man? It might be 'amazing' and him texting every day is making it more healthy im sure.
Your making a huge mistake and you seem to be unaware of what your 'fun' is doing to people who have no idea what sort of person their father/husband is any more.
Ask yourself why your in this situation. Hes got no intention of leaving his wife, would you want him too? If he can treat the woman he married and bore children with imagine what he could do to you?
Dont fall into this any more, get yourself out.
Im not blaming you, if anything the blame falls on his part but you need to see what your doing. Not only to yourself but to his family, does that not upset you? His younger children believe in their dad and hes having an affair with an 18 year old.
Im sorry for being so blunt, i just hate these types of questions, people avoid what they know is the issue.
Dont fall any more, you can walk away from this, im just sad to say your just part of the list of many, i doubt your his first or his last. Thr truth does hurt but not as much as a lie this big.
Next time he texts you or asks for some fun think of his kids. Hes a dad and a husband living a lie, thats fair in what way? Imgaine how youd feel, its the worst situation to be in and only you can get out.
I havent answered your original post as i dont feel thats the answer you need, you miss him when hes the family guy, you need to walk away from this learn from it and never make the same mistake twice.
Dont lower yourself to that level.
Show that youve got a heart and leave a man who doesnt deserve the title of man let alone dad or husband.
Best of luck, please post again with any up dates
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