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I hate being gay! Can I become heterosexual by taking medication?

Tagged as: Gay relationships, Health, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (23 May 2009) 14 Answers - (Newest, 18 September 2011)
A female New Zealand age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I HATE BEING GAY. can we deliberately convert a gay person into heterosexual by means of medical treatment? (i.e. hormone injections, hormone medications (such as??))

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2011):

Yes, all sexuality is of course regulated by hormones which tell our body how to feel. I used to be attracted to other females as well. I found that I am happiest and feel a greater love for people by not acting on this feeling. So even though there were hard years I found an spiritual/emotional growth and healing from having this issue. From a spiritual/emotional standpoint I feel at peace not acting on my attractions.

It wasn't until recently that I discovered that sexuality (including gender identity and same sex attraction) is regulated by hormones even though it makes total sense.

The synthetic hormones made by drug companies are toxic (the drug companies modify natural hormones so they can patent them and make a profit off it). The natural bioidential hormones are better but hormones are way to sensitive to measure and modify in you body so I've never tried it (tiny, nano amounts can drastically change everything). So I've personally never used hormone therapy of any kind.

I have however, been to a chiropractor and by accident (while getting my low back treated with a TENS machine) discovered that it did something major to my hormones. I felt very feminine and very attracted to men. So I did a lot of research on this and figured my hormones have probably been unbalanced all my life (but normal enough that my medical doctor tells me there is nothing wrong with me). However the TENS on my low back changed my hormones and I was very attracted to men and felt very feminine for a few days. I looked up where the nerves in the low back lead to and they lead to the bowels and sex organs. So I think the TENS either stimulated my ovaries to produce more hormones or produced more blood flow to the ovaries. But I think it was TOO much. So I never did the TENS on my low back again but did a lot of research and found that electro-acupuncture might be used to balance hormones as well. For example they can use it to modify hormones in PCOS:

http://www.womenhealthzone.com/tests-and-treatments/alternative-complementary-medicine/electro-acupuncture-and-its-promising-effects/

So, while I wouldn't go back to the chiropractor to have the TENS on my low back again because I think it's too harsh and I don't know if it is safe as it drastically changed my hormones overnight (almost felt like jumpstarting my ovaries), I might go for something like electro-acupuncture in the future. Just need to find a good one that is knowledgeable about balancing hormones. I imagine it should be safe but I don't know... I guess you can never know if modifying the body hormonally with pulses of electricity is safe...

In myself I've noticed that I'm not very attracted to women anymore anyway. Don't know why. I think my hormones are changing as I get older. Just because you're attracted to someone doesn't mean you have to act on it anyway, attraction comes and goes. I have found greater peace, self confidence, joy and love by determining a spiritual path for myself and sticking to it regardless of what the hormones are saying on any given day. I'm pretty happy with how things have turned out, I'm a stronger person, but yes there were some rough times... I know you can find your answers if you look for them. It took me a long time but the answers did eventually come. Take care.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2009):

i hate being gay too. actually, i hate heterosexual society, and i don't need to explain why, i am sure you know what it is that heterosexual society does at this point that outrights shuns us, or pretends to accept us (all the while STILL against us). I am sorry pal, you cannot change. I don't care what those doctors and christians say. It's rather apparent WHO FUNDS THOSE ORGANISATIONS AND WHAT THEY ARE INVOLVED IN (in public and covertly).

for one, try not to hate yourself. if you feel anger or hurt, then feel it, but do not let it immobilize your spirits. Just as anyone who has been kicked in the face, you have to get up and move on to survive. don't let straight brainwashed people get the best of you.

LIVE FOR YOURSELF AND THOSE WHO GENUINELY CARE ABOUT YOU, AND LEAVE THE REST OF THEM BEHIND.

i have no more advice. i'm still in the closet over this and stare at the ground all the time (you could say i am beaten to some extent, so f**k all you bastards!).

treat them as they treat you. do it right back. if smeone cares, care back. If someone wants you to hide what you are, don't accept their outward public affection. if someone dismisses gay as though it does not exist, then they should not exist.

other than that... take care i wish you all the best, but i cannot make any promises this will get any easier...

from a brother

Phil Clayton.

[email address blocked]

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2009):

Two years ago, my doctor ordered routine blood tests as a part of my yearly check-up, and the lab mistakenly measured 17-alpha hydroxyprogesterone (17-OHP). The result was well below normal, in the "prepubertal" range. Progesterone was twice the mean for men. Over the course of a year my 17-OHP levels were measured several times and found to be consistently abnormal without any evidence of clinical disease.

17-OHP is considered to be a precursor of both testosterone (T) and cortisol. It is rarely, if ever, measured in men, and is primarily evaluated during pregnancy, or during the diagnostic workup for female infertility and congenital adrenal hyperplasia in children. If a man’s T level is normal, 17-OHP is assumed to be normal. Although my testosterone (T) level was always normal, the ratio of 17-OHP to T(17-OHP/T) was 0.02. For men with normal testicular function the ratio is 0.24 +/- 0.08 (J Clin Endocrinol Metab. 1978 Nov;47(5):1144-7; Basal and human chorionic gonadotropin-stimulated 17 alpha-hydroxyprogesterone and testosterone levels in Klinefelter's syndrome).

Low 17-OHP levels are associated with combat stress, old age, steroid abuse; disorders such as Addison’s disease, adrenal hypoplasia congenita, adrenal exhaustion, hypogonadism; and various intersex disorders such 17-beta hydroxysteroid dehydrogenase deficiency and Klinefelter’s syndrome, a genetic condition where men with an XXY chromosome pattern are found to have low or low normal levels of both T and 17-OHP.

Both T and 17-OHP dramatically increase in males before and after birth. During the first 1-2 months of life, these hormones surge to adult levels during a period know as the “mini puberty” of infancy. Research suggests that exposure to prenatal stress can disrupted the surge in these hormones during critical phases of brain development. If these hormones fail to reach adult levels during infancy the brain may remain in a state of “arrested development,” resulting in same-sex attraction (SSA) later in life.

Studies show that exogenous T increases a man’s sex drive without changing his sexual orientation. Although it is well established that T is necessary for the development of male secondary sex characteristics, low, high or normal T levels do not correlate with a hetero- or homosexual orientation. Again, it is interesting to note that both T AND 17-OHP surge during the prenatal, postnatal, and adolescent periods of male sexual development. This seems to suggest that T works together with either 17-OHP or some other hormone for which 17-OHP is a precursor, perhaps epitestosterone (EpiT). Too much or too little T without appropriate levels of 17-OHP or EpiT may result in a homosexual orientation later in life.

After considering this, I suspected that there must be a way to alter the disruption in the male-typical pattern of hormone production/regulation. After researching different ways to balance my hormones, I discovered by accident that taking mega doses of B vitamins normalized my 17-OHP level. After 2 months of supplementation my ratio of T to 17-OHP and hormone levels were normal; however, after a month without the B vitamins, my levels were again abnormal.

I worked with my doctor for a year before finding that the specific B vitamin that balanced my hormones is pyridoxine or vitamin B6 (150-200 mg), often referred to as the “anti-stress vitamin.” With vitamin B6, 17-OHP increased from 24 to 105 ng/dl. Further, the ratio of 17-OHP/T rose from 0.02 to 0.17.

It is well established that steroid hormones, such as estrogen and testosterone, exert their effects in the body by binding to steroid hormone receptors in the nucleus of the cell and altering gene transcription. Interestingly, the bioactive form of vitamin B6, pyridoxal-5-phosphate (PLP) binds to steroid receptors in a manner that inhibits the binding of steroid hormones, thus decreasing their effects. Hence, increased binding of PLP to steroid receptors for estrogen, progesterone, testosterone, and other steroid hormones may explain why vitamin B6 corrected my hormone imbalance.

I know of no other men with a similar hormone profile. If you believe there may be a biological basis for your SSA, I encourage you to to have your T, progesterone and 17-OHP levels measured. If you are unable to find a doctor to do so, or if privacy is an issue, order the tests yourself through a direct access laboratory such as EconoLabs or Health Tests Direct.

T and 17-OHP are measured in blood, while EpiT is measured in urine. If you decide to have your levels measured, early morning (8:00 AM), fasting samples are ideal. Keep in mind that vitamins, minerals, and perscription medications may compromise the accuracy of your results. If possible eliminate them from your diet for at least two weeks prior to any blood test or urine sample.

The Postnatal Gonadotropin and Sex Steroid Surge—Insights from the Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome

The Journal of Clinical Endocrinology & Metabolism Vol. 87, No. 1 24-28

http://jcem.endojournals.org/cgi/content/short/87/1/24

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2009):

In reply to CaliGirl88, it is not a choice.

Who would decide hell for themselves?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2009):

Maybe you're not that gay, maybe you're being pressured into it at school.

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A male reader, NightLad Canada +, writes (4 June 2009):

NightLad agony auntBeing hateful about one aspect of your identity is only a symptom of dissatisfaction with yourself. If it were not sexual orientation, than it would invariably be something else. Very rarely can call the woes and tribulations of one’s life be attributed solely to one facet of our being, even when we fixate on it as the cause.

To answer your specific question: No.

Over the past hundred years various branches of the medical community made haphazard attempts to “fix” homosexuals via psychotherapy, drugs, hormone replacement, electrocution ("shock-therapy"), lobotomy, and several other methods. None of them worked.

In 1957 Dr. Evelyn Hooker wrote the paper, “The Adjustment of the Male Overt Homosexual” detailing her study which discounted previously accepted “evidence” that homosexuals were inferior or somehow damaged. This marked one of the pivotal moments in medical history human sexuality began to expand beyond our limited understanding.

To quote the American Psychiatric Association:

“Attempts to change sexual orientation can cause anxiety, depression and self-destructive behaviour.”

Such statements are echoed by psychiatric and medical associations around the globe.

I would instead urge you to focus on the positives in your life, and recognize the negative influences that enforce self-loathing. Remove them and love yourself. You are worth it.

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A female reader, CaliGurl88 United States +, writes (25 May 2009):

First of all, may I ask why do you hate being gay? Secondly, it is your choice weather you are gay or not. That is in your hands, but you should always be proud of what you are..... so, please give me a little more information about your situation. Like how old are you? What's your sex? When did you find out your gay? How long have you been gay, & hated it? Just a little more.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2009):

After reading through all the responses I would be amazed if you've found an answer. And to be honest without having some background information about the life you have been living it's difficult to give a really strong response to your question.

I do not believe there is a 'cure' for gayness, that said life changes for us all. I was in a straight relaionship for 23years and never felt i was hiding a desire to sleep with woman. Then out of nowhere i find myself finding women sexually attractive. I had a wonderful 4 year relationship with a woman and doubt i'll ever be with a man again. Then i have a friend who still identifies as lesbian but, has been in a loving 18month relationship with a man. She to believed she'd never want a man.

Then I have a friend who has always been gay and she is secure in who she is and what she wants. So in answer to your question, nothings set in stone. Just try to accept who you are today and enjoy your life. We only get one go at it. We cannot be certain of what is around the corner.

Good luck babe and i wish you happiness.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2009):

There's absolutely NOTHING wrong with being gay? Ignore the vast majority of comments that people have posted on here. Being gay is just as normal as being straight. I feel really sad that you feel like it's not right. When I first figured out that I was a lesbian, I hated it too, but only because everybody was telling me that it wasn't 'normal'. Now I am totally fine with it, it just takes time. You shouldn't be trying to fight who you really are, it will make you very unhappy in the long run. There are many instances of women who are gay but try to suppress these feelings, then become involved in a relationship with a man and figure out much later on in life that they are unhappy in a relationship with a man. This makes everyone involved unhappy! Just try and talk to a councellor about why you don't want this so much, good luck :-) xx

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A male reader, yum yum Switzerland +, writes (24 May 2009):

yum yum agony auntNo, there is no medication on the market to change sexual orientation.

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A male reader, unclezak United Kingdom +, writes (23 May 2009):

do you see yourself with a man?

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A female reader, TasteofIndia United States +, writes (23 May 2009):

TasteofIndia agony auntI personally don't believe that you can change your orientation, certainly not with medicine. You can change your orientation only by looking in and perhaps shifting your complete psychology, which could be difficult but not impossible. Any quick fix medicine, I think, will just be you lying to yourself. Some people lie to themselves for their entire lives and are completely fine in life. Michael Jackson comes to mind (you're not white, bro. You're just not.), not to say that you're a crazy who dangles their kids off of a roof, but you know what I'm saying.

I think you should see a therapist, and not one who is outright homophobic or anything. Just see a psychologist who can help you figure out why you hate yourself so much and who can talk to you about your options. They may be able to help you figure out how to find happiness within yourself - be that helping you find a way to shift your mind so that you find satisfaction with a fella, or be that making you feel more comfortable with your sexuality as is.

The best medicine is to find a psychologist you really like and look into yourself. I feel that any sort of medicine or "conversion" is only going to suppress things and end up worse in the long run. A psychologist can help you find peace and answers from inside yourself.

Good luck!

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A female reader, natasia United Kingdom +, writes (23 May 2009):

natasia agony aunt1. Are you sure you're gay? (sorry - you probably are, which is why you are writing, but there's still debate as to whether this is a biological thing you were born with, or the result of your upbringing, or a combination of the two).

2. Following on from (1), yes, you can change things. You can have hormonal treatment (see a specialist), and you could also have counselling to see if there is something in your past (early childhood, probably) that has either made you see men as something to be avoided, or see women as sexual propositions.

If you hate it that much, change it.

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A female reader, natasia United Kingdom +, writes (23 May 2009):

natasia agony aunt1. Are you sure you're gay? (sorry - you probably are, which is why you are writing, but there's still debate as to whether this is a biological thing you were born with, or the result of your upbringing, or a combination of the two).

2. Following on from (1), yes, you can change things. You can have hormonal treatment (see a specialist), and you could also have counselling to see if there is something in your past (early childhood, probably) that has either made you see men as something to be avoided, or see women as sexual propositions.

If you hate it that much, change it.

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