A
female
age
51-59,
*weetiebabes
writes:Hello,This is just a follow up of what I have written earlier. I got involved with a 68 yrs old man thru internet online and he is married. He is a womanizer, but still I loved him and even learned to love his imperfections. Up front I told him not to do with me what he does to his other women. He said he just have eyes to see and he is not serious about it. Yes, he is very playful. I get depleted every time I know he is involved with someone else. I attempted many times to end our relationship but I couldnt learn to let go. Lately, I got erruptions of anger as I could not take in the deceptions anymore and ended our relationship He was upset about it, I could feel him and we exchanged hurtful words to each other. I accused him a deceiver and dishonesty of his feelings and he accused me of dishonesty too and told he doesnt trust me at all. After his revelations about trust, it just made it concrete he was using me for sex in net. I got so humiliated that I told him how I felt, burst my anger to him and gave a letter to his son revealing our relationhip but it was not a destructive letter but just telling his son if he could give advice to his father not to play with emotions. After the outburst of my anger, I felt I made a mistake and asked an apology of my behavior to both of them. I tried and attempted to talk to my bf online for peace of mind but I was unable to speak to him and he ignored my messages, because he ignored my messages I feel anger is coming up to me again for he did not even care about my feelings being played at. So, I attempted to call their house and the wife spoke to me, i was so surprised that the wife knew about it as the son disclosed the letter I sent to him and my BF admitted also to his wife. The wife asked me about the relationship and I just could not tell anything but I could not also lie. Instead, I asked an apology to her that I did not mean to hurt her feelings as her husband and I were just having internet affairs. She asked me how true our relationship again and the love letters she wanted to know and I just told her that I won't say anything about it but my email will tell her the truth about my affairs with her husband. I just could not lie to her. She asked my email address and password and I just couldnt say NO, I just couldnt say NO. In my thoughts, I was telling myself, Ok this is the time to reveal to her the truth as she deserves to know the truth and at the back of my mind also is anger towards her husband that I told myself, ok if the wife will know he will also feel the pain he caused me...and right then and there, I gave her my email and password. After, I gave the ID and password I felt mixed emotions of relief and felt sorry for I know it will create trouble against my BF and he will be hurt because of me. I thought it will be a comforting feeling but honestly it is not. What do you think will happen if she got my email and password? I have nothing to do anymore, what is done is done. Should I send letter of apology to the family to let them know I feel sorry? How about my feelings being played at by her husband for 4 yrs despite of telling him my true feelings that I dont want to be played at like what he did with my friends? Im so confused please give me your advices on wht to do with this guilt feelings I have. I am not a bad person, my anger pushed me to for I was so humiliated and the pain was so great.
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female
reader, sweetiebabes +, writes (1 December 2009):
sweetiebabes is verified as being by the original poster of the question I would like to thank the advisers who somehow gave upliftment to my soul and opened up my eyes in my predicament. I use my heart instead of doing the right thing for me. I hunger for someone to love me and I put so much effort to get that love from my 68 yrs old BF, I felt I was always apologizing for a need. I never really had his love, I was used and misled. I don't know if these are the right words to describe but somehow I realized I also made a mistake, I allow him to do it with me for I was weak. A lesson learned though.
A
male
reader, Your friend  +, writes (1 December 2009):
 how could you have a relatio ship with a married man and think he has taken advantagr of you. You are must as responsible for having and maintaining the relationship, how can you not accept respinsibility as well, yoy knew what you were doing. He had every right to do the same thing to you when you lve someone you want o be with. Wake up and take responsibility yourself for what you have done.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2009): and the moral of the story is : stop messing around with married men. I am sure you figured this out by now. or HAVE YOU??? i think the only word that comes to mind is KARMA- what goes around comes around is sooooo true with you.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2009): You should have asked her email address and forwarded the incriminating stuff. Now you'll be lucky if you get your account back and hopefully you don't have confidential emails that HE will use against you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2009): Oh my, you are a mess! Break all contact with this family, do as you've been advised and change your password and stay away from married men!
I think you need to seek some professional counseling.
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A
female
reader, Jayney Y +, writes (29 November 2009):
 Simple answer, it not your fault. Being hurt and angry, and feeling vengeful, is a normal reaction when you find out you've been used and misled. He's the one who should be apologising - to his wife and to you. If his wife has any self respect she'll get rid of him, and maybe you've just given her the proof she needs. You can change your password on your email, and then cease all contact with any of them. If you keep contacting them then I guess it may be construed as stalking, but if you stop now then it's just a case of you telling the truth. No big deal.
As far as worrying that you've done damage to their relationship, it obviously wasn't too good anyway or he wouldn't have been looking elsewhere. Like a lot of older married couples they obviously have communication and intimacy problems, most likely because he was quite happy to sit in front of the computer jerking off instead of acting like an adult and discussing his sexual needs with his wife. He made the choice to do the dirty-old-man thing and now the consequences have caught up with him, so don't sweat about it.
You've exposed him and made him look a complete fool, I say well done girl, he deserves every bit of humiliation because of what he did to you and what he's done to his wife. No doubt he downplayed his involvement with you, because that's what lying cowards do when they get caught. Don't go feeling sorry for him, he brought it all on himself. Just try to get on with your life and find yourself someone decent, not some randy old goat whose hobbies are telling lies and masturbating. :)
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A
female
reader, Carrot2000  +, writes (29 November 2009):
 Change your email password IMMEDIATELY and leave this man and his family alone.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim +, writes (28 November 2009):
 Oh my goodness, if you have given this woman your email address and password there is no telling the damage she can do if she so choses.
Get onto your ISP (internet provider) immediately and tell them what has happened, request they assist you to chanve your log in details.
And I would cease all communication with all his family members, do not contact him, or his wife or any of their children, or their brothers or sisters, or any body.
They could probably charge you with some sort of criminal activity - you realise by now that nothing is going to come of this relationship.
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A
female
reader, Ich_liebe_dich +, writes (28 November 2009):
 What you exactly you are doing right now is a revenge.
If you think this make your feeling ok and a bit better then its ok. You have the right to look and find the way to your peace of mind & soul. for your side its ok. for him maybe its ok cos maybe it can cost him a trouble to his family and maybe this will also cost of his broken family and this will hurt him badly then you made your revenge done. but also maybe not" as you said his wife and son know about you already. so maybe he is already doing this stuff long time ago already and his wife already knew that he is not taking it too serious. and NO" you are not going to ask an apology to his wife nor son or anybody who is involve to this. Your just going to hurt more your self.
dont put your self more down. its not necessary.
if you think that your email and password that you give to the wife is already 1 step to hurt him back then its ok. its enough now. i understand that you get hurt so much. but you dont need to hurt your self more and more. get up there and move on now to your life. face the real world. internet affair is not bad at all, sometimes its also ok. but not 100%. i would say that you better move on to your life, stop communicating now to this man and to his family. dont do that anymore, youre just putting your self there down. you are very young and sounds pretty, honest and sensitive. you deserve a better man than that. dont believe that you can not let go, its only the matter of our pride and emotion. if we really wanna move on, no matter how hard that is, you will make it. and i think you are strong person. you will make it sister.. im sure you can.. i wish you good luck. and god bless you..
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A
male
reader, baddogbj  +, writes (28 November 2009):
 No don't contact them again. What you have done already is truely awful and frankly qualifies you as a "bunny boiler". When you started this affair you knew that he was married, that he was 30 years older than you and that he was a man that loves women in other words you knew or should have known that it was all just a game, hopefully a fun game, maybe a beautiful game but still just a game. I'm not saying that this old guy was blameless. Of course it is better not to cheat on your wife and I admire men that can live that way. I'm sure that the consensus on this site would be that it would be better for a 68 year old man to be living a sex-less existance and getting himself ready for death however this guy had decided to continue living and experiencing the joys of life. You knew what he was and what he was doing when you started. There are rules which govern this kind of situation and you broke the rules. Best that you get out and cause no more harm.
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