A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:hi, I really like this beautiful young lady that goes to my church and she has told me that she likes me also .The problem that I have is we have been talking to each other and texting other for the 4 or 5 months and everything has been going well . She has been to my house a few times my mom and dad really like her and so does some of the family members that have meet her. There have been times where we have text each other and I was trying to flirt by jokely making sexual comments to her and because of some of things that she she has told me about her past she has told me that she does not like some of the comments that I have made and she has changed her mind about starting a relationship with me and know she wants to go back to being just friends . I called her and told her that I was sorry for offending her and she accept my, apologize . Is there anything I can more i can do to get us to start talking about start ing to once be more then friends ?Because we still like ea
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (15 October 2012):
 Heh, there's a glaringly obvious mistake you made here that answers pretty much everything here:
You're trying to build a relationship with this woman not by asking her out and getting to know her, but by inviting her to your house and making sexual overtures via text, right??
Let me remind you what you said at the start of your post:
"I really like this beautiful young lady ****that goes to my church**** and she has told me that she likes me also."
People who are regular churchgoers don't tend to like establishing relationships on a foundation of sexual innuendos.
Even if she wasn't a churchgoer, what you call flirting she may consider to be sexual advances that she's not ready for.
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (15 October 2012):
 Just how old is this young lady? Very important detail.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (15 October 2012):
 I think you pretty much shot yourself in to foot with this lady and the sexting.
Back off from her and respect that she isn't interested in your sleaze self anymore. She thought you were a good guy and it turns out that you are just another horn-dog.
Learn from this. Everyone has their limits to what they find appropriate and you need to STOP testing them, because you will end up losing a good girl.
You might also want to learn what REAL flirting is.
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A
male
reader, tamperingtampaguy +, writes (15 October 2012):
Helllllllllo. Has the ritual of asking this lady on a date , ever come to mind. Common sense? You text and text and text some more, and it does not occur to you , to ask her on a date.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (15 October 2012):
 Be honest with yourself. You don't want to be JUST friends...you want to f**k her or else you would not have sent those texts.
Just how young is she?
If she is a woman around your age, she has the experience to know you just want to have sex.
If shes a young girl then you probably scared the hell out of her and she probably thinks your a dirty old man.
I could see right through your words and so could she.
If you try to manipulate her into the guise of being your friend KNOWING that you really want to be sexual with her then you are lying to her from the tart and no wonder she has backed off.
She probably enjoyed being your friend and having all the ttention that friends can give...but sex is another thing entirely and it sounds like she never saw you in that way to begin with, whatever her age.
The best you can do is back off, have a little more respect for women who are NOT in a relationship with you and leave her alone. If she chooses to come back to you then that is up to her.
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A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (15 October 2012):
Hi there. It's possible that when your text messages turned slightly sexual, that she began to think that that was all you were really interested in.
Especially as it was kind of sudden.
You did the right thing by apologising, and unfortunately you can't take back what you said. It's too late for that.
And if you are still going to be attending the church group each week, as you were before, you are probably going to be seeing her there anyway.
All you can do when you see her at the church group, is to smile and say "hi" and be friendly towards her.
Also, once the church service is over, why not walk over to her - when she is on her own - and quietly say to her, that you need to talk about something.
I say this, because although she has accepted your apology, the damage has already been done and so you are going to have to explain yourself, because the apology alone, is NOT enough.
You and her were about to start a relationship before those sexual texts, so now you need to make up some ground by explaining why you said the things you said.
Unless you have this talk with her - sooner rather than later - you may not get back to where you were before that time.
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