A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes: I'm a 19 year old virgin, and my boyfriend of three years recently broke up with me. He's adamant we'll stay friends and so far that's working, but I really want to have sex. The reason we never had sex is we tried twice and the first time hurt me too much. The second time he lost his erection from worrying about what happened the first time. After that we did everything else, but kinda gave up on the act itself. Recently I met my friend's younger brother. My friend is 24, his brother 22, who had recently broken up with his girlfriend of 3 years. My friend, out of nowhere, gave me permission to have a fling with his brother stating, "you're adults, you both have needs, go for it". Well last night we kinda did. We all went for a night out, I was a bit drunk, and the brother shared a taxi home with me (which he's done before). Now he was completely sober, and I, of course, mentioned what his brother said, and we made out several times. I'm actually really attracted to him, and have been since we met, and we'd been gently flirting back and forth (which I'm massively out of practice in) before this happened. I asked this morning how he felt about it, and he said he enjoyed it, that it was fun, exciting and spontaneous thing for us to do after all the things we've been through with our ex's. So what I'm asking is, should I ask him to sleep with me? I want to get it over with, but not with a stranger. Plus I'm pretty sure I'd enjoy it with him. Or would it be a bad idea? Not just because of my friend, but because it'd be a kind of Fwb kinda thing. I'm not looking for a relationship for a good long while, but I really wanna try it out. Ideas guys?
View related questions:
broke up, drunk, erection, flirt Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2016): Ok, OP here. So I haven't slept with the guy, but we are becoming kinda close friends. Which has created a whole new problem: I REALLY like the guy! I'm so messed up, between my long term partner leaving me (but still keeping in contact), just about to start a new job that's gonna do wonders for my career, and now starting to really form a crush on my friends brother...I feel like I'm being torn apart. I love talking to him, and I think he enjoys talking to me too, but I don't want another relationship so soon, and I know he's not over his ex yet. I can't help but think that the two of us making out was a terrible idea, but at the same time I enjoyed it so much I can't regret it! I have no idea what I'm doing anymore. I just had to get that off my chest, but any thoughts guys?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2016): Never tell a guy you are a virgin, he will want you more. but its only to prove to himself that he can get a virgin. Act like a spoil bitch, tell him you have been will several guys and see how he responds. Most definitely he wont be charming but instead horny. Its all about sex. I say have a relationship and never say a word that you are a virgin until the guy shows you he cares about you.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (11 April 2016):
 I have to ask OP,
What is the hurry to not be a virgin?
While I usually agree with BrownWolf, I don't agree that a woman's virginity is her most precious thing. It's not the middle-ages no more, where women and their virginity was a commodity that could ensure a bloodline.
(sorry Wolf)
All virginity is, is INEXPERIENCE in sex.
But besides the inexperience it's also a BIG, nay, HUGE event for everyone (boys and girls) to have that FIRST experience with sex. According to some studies 50% of women regret their first time, not because of where it happened but because of WHOM they had sex with. They felt peer pressure, pressure from media to HAVE sex and pressure from parents, religion, society in general to NOT have sex. Pretty confusing at a young age.
By the by, the same study shows that only 20% of boys have regrets..... maybe because they were LESS pressured to stay virgins, maybe they were less picky than the girls. (at leastless picky than the 50% of girls who DO NOT regret it).
My advice is this. I'd wait for the RIGHT guy and the RIGHT time. I'm not saying you should wait till after marriage, because obviously that is not your inclination and THAT is fine. But speaking from personal experience, DO it with someone you respect and care for and who RESPECT and CARE for you in return. Not because you feel horny and he is "cute" enough.
And for GOODNESS sake make sure you KNOW how to protect yourself from STD's and pregnancy and DO NOT just rely on the guy to do so. It's your job as much as HIS.
...............................
A
male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (11 April 2016):
What exactly do you want? Sex, a FWB, to just try something, or a long term relationship?
If you just want a FWB...easy. If you just want sex to just get it out of the way...easy.
The hard part is...giving your virginity to the man who will stay with you until death do you part.
A woman's virginity is the most precious thing she is born with. Among men...it is highly praise and valued. Not in a money sense...but it is something men will rush for.
Giving it up like a piece of cake at a birthday party...well...you can see where that goes. Your virginity is not something your just "get it over with." The hardest pain a woman can suffer, is giving her virginity to a man, and he dumps her for someone else in a few months.
If you want a long term relationship as you say you do, then wait and make sure the man you are giving it to, is worth it. Lust and Love are both four letter words...one is short term, the other can last for life...if done right.
...............................
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (11 April 2016):
 Is friendship really working with your ex? Are you sure you don't want more than friendship? From experience it is difficult to be friends with an ex, as their was feelings between you both at one point.
It seems you are moving on and it is great that you have met someone and you are wanting to experiment. Are you sure you want to give your virginity to someone as a bit of fun? Are you sure you would rather not wait until it is with someone whom you love and you actually want a relationship with? I am not saying don't sleep with your friends brother, it is just am scared that you might regret it, or that one of you might get hurt as you are both only out of a relationship. You need to make sure that sex with him is what you want, it is a big deal losing your virginity, and yes it will hurt. You need to be with someone who will be gentle with you, and use lots of lubrication, but most importantly you need to relax so that it won't be painful.
...............................
A
female
reader, aunt anna wilson +, writes (10 April 2016):
 For starters well done on the virgin front something to be proud of nowadays, listen if it is what you want o say go a head maybe do it when your a little drunk so it won't hurt as much but not to drunk so you'll regret it, main point don't ask if you can.have sex with him ask him on.a casual date or to come to yours to watch some films and just glide into it in your own time good luck hope it all goes well.
...............................
|
