A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I just went by my brother house to pick something up of mine, I have a key, so I went on in the house. When I opened the door, he was making out with his female business partner. I played it off like I didn't notice, and I don't think he or she thinks I saw anything. My brother and his business partner are both married. Should I confront them, or just let it go? Its hard keeping something like this to myself.. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2008): I hadn't planned on telling the spouses or anyone for that matter. I just didn't know if I should say something to my brother. According to your answers, its about 50/50 on confronting him. I will probably just let it go for now.
A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (9 January 2008):
 Birdynumnums has a good answer. I'd tell him what I saw and I'd tell him to deal with his issues. He'll expect you to side with him because you're blood relatives but that is difficult. I'm very close to my in-laws and would have a hard time with that information.
Tell him you know what happened and you feel really bad for the innocent people. Ask him about STD's and such. This is how disease is spread. Your sister in law has now, been exposed to all the people your brothers business partner has slept with. That's not good.
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A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit +, writes (9 January 2008):
 Stay out of it. No one will appreciate you for saying anything to anyone. Not your family, and not the people being cheated on. If any of them lose their business or get divorced from this, many of the people involved will blame you for saying something.
For all you know, your brother has an open relationship with his wife that is private, and not for family discussion. His wife may already know, and will not act on it as this is still something secret.
If you MUST get this off your chest and vent, then tell your brother privately about what you saw, and instruct him to deal with whatever he must deal with to ensure you never get involved in his private affairs again, and that you want to be kept out of it.
-Frank B Kermit
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A
female
reader, hello1  +, writes (9 January 2008):
 If I saw my brother or sister doing that, I wouldn't tell their partner straight away. I would confront him and have a right go at him. If he carried on the affair, I properly would tell the wife. But thats just me, personally I would feel really guilty knowing.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2008): If i was you i would have a word with your brother when you get the chance to speak to him on his own. Let him know what you saw and say that you dont want to be a judge or be a part of it, but you need to get it off your chest. Keeping it inside will only make you feel ill in the long run. So, have that chat.
take care
xx
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (9 January 2008):
 See no evil, hear no evil and speak no evil. Who are we to judge others? You may speak to your brother but what good will it do?
Your brother may not accept your opinions and worse, you could become an enemy.Your words would be like pouring water into sand. Your brother should know what he is doing is wrong.
If you confront them , it may let the cat out of the bag and the consequences arising would be your fault.You could be the catalyst and destroy the business or their marriage from this fallout.
Just let sleeping dogs lie for if you wake them up , you will get their fleas.
Right or wrong , it is their choice. It has already being done and you cannot undone it. Moreover, they could deny it and it is you against them.What proof do you have except your words of mouth and it will not stand up, legally speaking.
Don't think of yourself as a moral guardian and don't judge your brother. He can think for himself and you should let this matter rest.It is between them two and it should not be your concern.He is not a little brother anymore.
It is better to see no evil and hear no evil and speak no evil.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318 +, writes (9 January 2008):
See no evil, hear no evil and speak no evil. Who are we to judge others? You may speak to your brother but what good will it do?
Your brother may not accept your opinions and worse, you could become an enemy.Your words would be like pouring water into sand. Your brother should know what he is doing is wrong.
If you confront them , it may let the cat out of the bag and the consequences arising would be your fault.You could be the catalyst and destroy the business or their marriage from this fallout.
Just let sleeping dogs lie for if you wake them up , you will get their fleas.
Right or wrong , it is their choice. It has already being done and you cannot undone it. Moreover, they could deny it and it is you against them.What proof do you have except your words of mouth and it will not stand up, legally speaking.
Don't think of yourself as a moral guardian and don't judge your brother. He can think for himself and you should let this matter rest.It is between them two and it should not be your concern.He is not a little brother anymore.
It is better to see no evil and hear no evil and speak no evil.
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A
male
reader, jm81690 +, writes (9 January 2008):
 Telling your brother might be a good idea.
But in all fairness, it's really none of your business, personally I think I'd just let it go if I were you, nothing good can come of you bringing this up.
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A
female
reader, xapathyxrebornx +, writes (9 January 2008):
 I would speak to your brother and tell him you saw him and ask him what he plans on doing. This isn't your fault and it isn't a secret you should have to bear. All i can say is sit him down tell him what you saw and go from there =] x
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A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (9 January 2008):
 Hi,
It's not your place to tell any of the wives or other family what happened.
However, you should have a word to your brother. You were put in this uncomfortable position through his lust and that is not right.
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums +, writes (9 January 2008):
 I would tell your brother what you saw and what you know. Tell him that you don't appreciate being made an unwitting accomplice by your unintentional knowledge in this matter. I would also tell him that should anyone ask you, and by anyone, I mean his Wife, you refuse start lying on his behalf. That will put the onus back on him to clear all of this muck up himself. Under no circumstances tell anyone else in the family or his wife. Everyone loves to shoot the messenger, and this is his problem, not yours.
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