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female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: ok so here it goes, last year i found something on my bf laptop by accident he was sitting next to me and i asked wat it was,i logged into it coz his face was strange and it brought me to a profile with all his details on a fuck buddie site, logged in the week before. He swore to me it wasnt his and that he thinks he was hacked and that he just received an email and it brought him to this site i was so upset but i foolishly believed him. anyways lasst week i noticed that his emails to an old dating site which he deactivated were open so i figured out the password and it letd me into it, there was nothing bad but i deleted the account and thought id try that password on the fuck site i found, suprise suprise it worked. so i looked at all the info and found the email used to set it up, i went to the hotmail address and typed in the same password, Bam !! 15 sex site he was logged into 11 pages of filth all manky profiles looking to hook up, but that want the worst of it, i also found pof dating site i logged on and there was loads of messages from him to pure skanks saying hes in the area if they wanna hook up, he got no replies from what i could see but it described him down to a tea, his car he drives his manhood size etc.. the dates and times were all when he wasnt with me and he is away on a course with work at the moment, he stated where he is at the moment and also two weeks prior he stated in a msg where he was which was him home town and at that time he was there, i feel physically sick wheni read the msg, i texted him and told him i knew everything he denied it all said he had been hacked that he would never do anything like that to me or my kids and he loves me etc...He came down the next day trying to prove it wasnt hi let me see his phone nd laptop and his bro rang me he works as an I.T specialist or something and he said he was hacked too, but tell me people how and why would a hacker pretend to be him to hook up with girls???he was cracking on to a pregnant 19yr old too hes 32 i feel like puking everytime i think about it, i told him it cant work but he swears it wasnt him. i also found him on swinger and dogging sites with his pics of his face made bk in 08 from a different email address every sex site had the same password, im here now in tears coz i love him so much but i cant stay with someone i dont trust i cant believe whats going on, i let all my guards down and let him into our lives and now i feel totally betrayed i don't think i will ever get over this, if there are any computer whizzes out there please help and tell me is it possible for a hacker to do all this and why?? thank u xx
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male
reader, victim  +, writes (5 December 2012):
Same thing happen to me. Someone close to me used my email to do the same thing as your bf and it got me in hot water with my gf. I would never do those things that was in my emails. Before I was in the relationship I was on lot of these sites and met lot of people. However about year before I met the woman of my life I decided to change and decided to find someone special to spend the rest of my life with. I know for a fact was you set up a profile with anyone on the net expressly with pictures it on the net for life.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2012): 1. You already know he's lying. You KNOW. You said it in your first sentence "i asked wat it was, I logged into it coz his face was strange". Why would his face be strange if he didn't know what it was? You know. you just don't want to believe it.
2. What else would he possibly say? "Yes dear, I am a first class pervert. you got me. But never mind about that let's go to a movie"? How could he possibly tell the truth about any of it? He can't.
3. Read a book called "Lie Spotting". I am sure you will see a zillion confirmations that he's lying.
4. If you really really really need to be sure, there is an easy way. Set up an email account he doesn't know, Log in to the site he had the most activity on, set up a fake profile and make a date to hook up with him. If he shows up... busted. Busted. Cold busted.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2012): Love is blind. . . Its voluntary. We dont know him, that's true, but neither do you by the sound of it.
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female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (11 February 2012):
 Hoping Maverick would come back on this one, cause she knows a lot more than me... she says it's not possible, I don't think it's possible.. I'm gonna stop feeding any hope and agree that your decision to walk away is right.
You've considered it, we've considered it, he is lying.
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female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (10 February 2012):
Oh and I just wanted to add, I used to run with the hacker crowd a few years back and though I did not write my own software I do have a pretty good understanding about how these things work and your boyfriend's story put my Internet Bullsh!t Radar on full alert.
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female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (10 February 2012):
Oh so now it's suddenly not a hacker, but an e-mail with a link? He's not very consistent in his storytelling, is he?
OP, infected e-mails retrieve passwords to a bot that sends ads or bogus links to other accounts. Once you change your password the problem is solved. It doesn't register you with a username and a password on a sex site, nor does it put you into contact with girls from your area. It just doesn't work that way. Registering through those sex sites works through encryption. You even have to type verification codes to prevent spam bots from registering.
The only logical conclusion is that your boyfriend himself registered on those 15 sex sites, and it was him and him alone that sent that message those girls in his area. E-mail viruses aren't sophisticated enough to do what he said happened to him. It's a lame excuse to cover up for the fact he's cheating on you.
Please, please don't be stupid.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2012): He has the free version of AVG you know what ive been trying to convince myself that hes innocent but its obvious im living in denial my kids hearts are gonna be broken but its better that i just end it or im gonna be snooping for the rest of my life trying to catch him out and nobody should have to live like that, im actually sickened with myself for being so stupid, i just wanted to cover every angle before i said your lying for sure, hoping there was a slim chance he was innocent, but ive had some good advice to open my eyes and show me that there are better men out there i deserve better than this! oh pof is plenty of fish dating site the profile was beyond vile i felt physically sick reading it, i know what ive got to do. xx
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female
reader, Miamine +, writes (10 February 2012):
Stuff and bother, more complicated.
So he wasn't hacked, he just opened an email which then took you to a link which says he's registered. Not sure what pof is, that needs explaining.
I had a virus which decided to send every friend in my contacts a email about gogoberries. Again not sure how they would know where he's working, his dick size or get his picture. Also not sure if a virus or some hacker could register to you or would want to do so.
He says he has an IT friend, well that friend doesn't like computers, he wouldn't be content to say it a virus and he had one two.. never heard of this one before, and I'd want to track it down.
But then again Hackers can grab hold of your computer if you don't have proper virus protection, but hackers don't bother registering you on sex sites. What email did the original message come from? He should have virus checked his computer with something reputable, and also possibly contact hotmail explain the situation and close the account.
There are automatic bots that hackers can use, and it might be the the spam is coming from the sex websites and registering him to tempt him to stay. Site's like that can be closed down, unless they are abroad in a small country with no computer laws. His IT friend would know for sure. But this still doesn't explain how they know so much about him, I'm not as good as that with computers. Is the ex-girlfriend an IT genius too?
You know what, how about you also go and post this on an IT/computer site.. take out all the relationship stuff, but ask the guys if it's possible to hack like this. Most of the time they will help and they will love to work on a problem like this.
Sorry, I'm going round and round, it's now a computer problem for me, something to be solved. It's got to be the website that's funny... but that means there is a leak in hotmail security.... but again the pictures and his movements... sorry, everything doesn't add up.
Virus check his computer... only a virus there and a pretty strong one helps me make sense of this.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2012): No his account wasnt hacked, he opened a link that brought him to a sex site with all his details on it, so wen i found it on his laptop i went mad he explained that it was an email he opened, that was last august, Anyways i went back onto that site and just typed in his usual password and it logged in and the email used to set it up was in the settings so i went to the hotmail account and used the same password again and thats when it loged in and i seen the 15 sex sites joined and the pof, which had message sent to other girls in the area he is currently working in at the moment
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female
reader, Miamine +, writes (10 February 2012):
Yes, maverick is right... it's unlikely to be an ex, even if she remembered all his passwords and he didn't change them... she couldn't be sure if he or you, or anyone he knows would ever see any sex sites. She more likely hack into his social network site, something that his friends and family use, like google, twitter or facebook.
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female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (10 February 2012):
The probability of a hacker using his e-mail to go on sex sites is as big as someone stealing your bank card for the sole purpose of using it to buy coffee once a week at Starbucks. It just doesn't happen.
If hackers want to view sex sites discreetly, they don't go through the hassle of hacking some random person's e-mail; they use a proxy server and create a new e-mail account on gmail. Your bf obviously does not have the basic knowledge in this field, which an IT person would have, but he obviously did not consult this person.
Also, the whole story about his ex doesn't make sense either. If she had the skills to hack his password or he was stupid enough not to have changed it when they broke up, there would be 101 better ways to get back at him rather then just discreetly (and consistently) go on sex websites. I mean, if you were the ex from hell, was that what you would do? No.
Please don't be naive. He's insulting your intelligence with these stupid lies. I know you said you have realized what's going on but I just want to make sure you won't let his sweet talking cloud your brain.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2012): Cindy cares your dead right im trying to make excuses for whats staring me in the face, he did think it was his ex coz she stalked him for awhile, she also thinks hes married which was on some of the profiles, im just gonna have to be brave and be a big girl about the situation, i mean to be fair, if one of my friends were in this position id tell them to leave so maybe i should do the same. Thanks girls i will let you know how i get on, really appreciate your advice x
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (9 February 2012):
 I think you'll keep believing what you want to believe, but I agree with Miamine. If he had been really hacked he'd be concerned about his bank account and would have told the police, not his mom.
And , pardon me, bt the " that's so not him " argument is not very strong. If someone has a secret interest or activity, it makes sense that he keeps it VERY secret and separated from his normal everyday life. I don't know any guy who has ever tried to impress me with " btw, I really have a thing for sex with pregnant teens...".
Same,like, thieves don't go around with a typical thief face or with " I am a thief " T - shirt , otherwise they cold never get to steal...
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female
reader, Miamine +, writes (9 February 2012):
OK, so it's out of character, it's not like him to do this. But no strange hacker could do something like this. No strange hacker would want to do this.
The fact that he has gone and told his mum this isn't a relief, guys who are lying go and lie to everyone to get more people on their side. It would be more normal I think to just keep it on a personal level between you two.
Also, if he was hacked he would be scared and terrified that the people had stolen his bank account details or were using his profile to set up drug deals. He would be very scared and he would run to the police.
Only one slim chance that he is not lying. Somebody who knows him very well, somebody as close as a brother could know enough about him to hack his account, know his dick size, where he lives and have access to his picture. Only a brother or someone else close like that (maybe an ex-girlfriend who he had a long relationship with) Someone who knows him and hates him, could do something like this.
In either case, it's not you he should be worrying about. If he's telling the truth he would be down at the police station and they would take the computer into custody for evidence.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2012): thanx for ur comments everyone i just wanna say that although im sure u all think im pretty stupid for believing all hes told me, i wanted help because of the kind of guy he is hes totally not like that which is why im so baffled by it, plus he was stalked by his ex b4 and his brother works in it and said he was def hacked i dont understand it myself i mean its there in black and white for me to see and its breaking my heart but hes told family about whats after happening even his mum and hes been searching the internet to show me all about spoofing etc, anyways the trust is gone now whether hes guilty or not so i dunno where its gonna go from here coz im not willing to spend the rest of my life snooping over him and being a paranoid wreck also delightful84 i know your trying to help and this angers you but please dont talk at me like im stupid, because you dont know him it looks terrible to you, but for people that do know him they are shocked because its not in his nature to be like that, hes not sleazy in the slightest and ive never known him to show interest in anything that i found, which is why i found his hacker story plausible im not a stupid girl im just hoping for that slim chance of innocents to be true because otherwise i will never trust a man ever again. Thanx you to you all for taking the time to get back to me i havent been on here in awhile and its nice to see the old profiles :)
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female
reader, Porn_Divorcee +, writes (4 February 2012):
 First, if you want to have any type of meaningful relief to with your boyfriend, you're going to have to confront him about his "potential infidelity" activity (I'm trying to put it nicely) because this sort of behavior is not going to go away unless both you and he actively take steps to make that happen.Having said that, I also think you may consider doing a little bit of cyber-snooping on him to see exactly what types of websites he is visiting. When I was married, my ex was addicted to porn and to make a long story short, I eventually use an online service [site deleted by mod] which scans his hard drive and printed out a list of all the porn-related sites he visited. It was then that I realized he was frequenting sex-related chatrooms, a practice he knew I would disapprove of which is why he used to try to cover his tracks by raising his Internet/browsing history. However, the service was still able to record the sites despite his erasing them. You might consider doing the same with your boyfriend from time to time assuming, of course, that he promises he'll never visit Those types of websites you find objectionable.
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female
reader, delightful84 +, writes (4 February 2012):
I should add that his excuse will not go down as a good conspiracy theory. He is probably just as shocked at you finding out, as you are of what you now KNOW.
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female
reader, Miamine +, writes (4 February 2012):
Don't think hackers know your dick size or your car?
If he's telling people about his dick, the girls aint the skank, he is.
The guy is a liar and he is a cheat, first chance he gets he'll be doing sex with someone else, if he's not already.
Fortunately for you, because he is sleazy enough to just want women to screw and isn't classy enough to sound pretty about it, nobody seems interested.
You forgave him once and you'll forgive him again. It's clear to even a blind man that your boyfriend is a lying piece of crap...
Why are you even considering the fact that he might be telling the truth?
DUMP HIM OR ACCEPT THAT HE WILL CHEAT.
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female
reader, delightful84 +, writes (3 February 2012):
He is taking the piss out of you. No ifs,no buts or maybe`s. He is not the best liar you will encounter. A good liar would have come up with a far better story than that.
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female
reader, thinkb4  +, writes (3 February 2012):
Don`t let him carry on abusing you like this. It`s useless trying to sort things out with liars. There`s only one thing you can do and if you don`t then he will see you as being more stupid than he seems to believe you are now. Best of luck.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2012): He is insulting and disrestecting you. He probably has been doing it years and will continue for the rest of his life. I joined a dating site and went back to it 3 years later. All the same members as before. Once a date or sex site freak, always a date or sex site freak. He will now cover his tracks and differ his identity. Mark my words, it wont ever stop.
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (3 February 2012):
 Just like most dogs don't heat the homework, most hackers don't sign people up for sleazy websites... And if you found the log in on his/yours computer it would take a lot of effort for a hacker, for instance, remote access and so forth and for what? To make him look bad?
Yeah I don't believe him one bit, sorry. His pants are definitely on fire.
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male
reader, T.R. +, writes (3 February 2012):
Unfortuntely for you, I agree with the other poster. A malicious hacker would be going after things like his bank account, credit cards, etc. Setting up a bunch of dating/hook-up site profiles with his picture all with the same password? That doesn't even make sense.
I work in the IT industry and every hacker I've ever met does it for a) the challenge and/or b) some sort of gain (usually financial). This situation really has neither of those things...
I'm sorry, OP - but I have to agree. This guy is feeding you a line of crap... Time to move on.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2012): Do not accept any more of his shit. Be prepared to either leave him or put up with his crap for the rest of your life.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2012): He said that he reckons they got info from facebook nd a previous dating site that he was on to describe him, ha but there are certain things that i say to him about )him being a real man,) he had all that in the dirty profile !!
he stating on facebook that he was going away on a course so he thinks they got info from that also, he seems to be so genuine but maybe hes just the best liar ive ever encountered.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2012): Making sense out of things helps us restore our sanity. However, the truth is, we can't really make sense out of narcissism. It doesn't make sense!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2012): I am sorry... As someone who is crazy about computers I can tell you that they are using your limited knowledge and what they told you could not be any further from truth. I am sorry you are going through this and wish you luck. I think it is clear to you (as it is to us) what is the only effective solution here.
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female
reader, Starlights +, writes (3 February 2012):
 He's lying.
Sorry but its the truth.
Let him go.
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female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (3 February 2012):
 No hacker involved here. Even if there were why haven't they plundered his bank account instead of trying to arrange hot dates for him?
He's actively looking for women with whom to cheat on you.
Don't bother talking to him about this. There is nothing he can say that would mitigate these events and any apology would be insincere. Cut him loose and move on.
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female
reader, person12345 +, writes (3 February 2012):
 I'm sorry this is happening, but there is no way this was a hacker. He is lying through his teeth. I'm so sorry. There is NO possible way a hacker did this. His brother is covering for him because they are family. You need to get away from this toxic man. Go stay with some family or friends and try to occupy as much of your time as you can, take up a new class, distract yourself. You can get through this.
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