A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:It was my dad's birthday last week and bought him a birthday card. I'm having "writer's block" because I want to write a meaningful message to him to show how much I've appreciated his support since starting out at university. Also, because my parents are divorced, I rarely see my dad and miss him a lot and want to let him know this without being too emotional. And, whenever I see him, it's never enough and feel left out as he has his wife and child for a family nowI would appreciate any help in writing out a meaningful and thankful message to him :)Thank you
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female
reader, chocoholicforever  +, writes (3 February 2012):
How about if you use this card to invite him out for a birthday dinner, just you and him? Tell him that it's been awhile since you've had a chance to catch up one-on-one and you'd like to do that again. it might be a bit too brash to say "without your new wife and child" so instead how about saying "just you and me so we can catch up on old times" , I think that would be a discreet hint that you'd really like to spend one on one time with him, that doesn't involve his new family.
it sounds like you feel that due to your parents having divorced and then now he's remarried and has a child with his new wife, that the bond between you and him has weakened. And what you're really longing for is to re-establish that bond again. If so, this is probably better done in person or at least by talking on the phone.
I'm not sure how old is his child from his current marriage, but assuming this child is not an adult like you are, I can see how you may be feeling "displaced" because young children require more attention from their parents than adult children. But realize that your relationship with him is unique and different from his relationship with your step-sibling. good luck!
A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (3 February 2012):
 It has to come from your heart. We can't give you much help because this isn't a "Thank you, Happy Birthday, Best Wishes" card to an ex or a friend..it's your father. So it has to be something very personal.
I'd send a nice Happy Birthday card with a general message. Then after his birthday I'd write him a letter telling him how you really feel. I don't think you should divulge all that info on his birthday card.
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A
male
reader, bruce lee  +, writes (3 February 2012):
 I don't know. Just be yourself I guess. Tell him that you appreciate all his help over the years. And that you wish him all the best with the rest of his life.
Meaningful? I don't know. I'm not Shakespeare. But you can say that you think his support in itself is more important than the goals you are trying to achieve.
I don't think you've got writer's block. I think you just feel awkward about the situation.
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