A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am a father of a one year old, and I think my girlfriend, the mother of my child, is cheating on me. Why? Because I found a text message on her phone, from some guy I've never met, that went as follows: "Do you want to f*ck?". Seems pretty straightforward, huh?Now I don't know what to do. If I confront her about it, she'll either dance around the question, or take the defensive and ask me something like "why are you going through my things anyway?!"I really hope someone can give me an answer to peacefully resolve this situation. I don't want my daughter to have to suffer because her parents can't get along.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2010): This one never fails to work: Get a new number pre-paid card and text your wife the following: "Hey sexy, phone stolen so I have a new number now. Wanna fuck babe?"
Now if you get a sexual message back, well, than you and I both know you have a problem.
A
female
reader, Gabrielle Stoker +, writes (3 August 2010):
 This IS pretty serious. Keep an eye on her I guess.If you're in a relationship you have a right to know...eventually you'll have to confront her.
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A
female
reader, MelyssahLyhn  +, writes (3 August 2010):
Rather then taking her phone and 'gathering more evidence', wait until you are with her next and she is msging someone. Ask to see her phone. If she hands it over there shouldnt be a problem. BUT you do have to respect her privacy.
Also remember, if you look for something specific, your going to convince yourself you found it, just to be satisfied.
I dont think that you would be too happy with her going through your things without you knowing.
Its a sign of trust problems.
But the best thing to do is to talk to her!
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A
female
reader, straight to the truth  +, writes (2 August 2010):
if you are in a relationship then you shouldn't have secrets anyway so why would it matter if you looked at her phone unless she had things on there she didnt want you to see.
She might not have done anythign and this might be someone who has a crush on her and thought it would be funny to send it to her so dont go in there all guns blazing.
simply ask who the guy is and why he is sending her message like that, if you trust her then you will believe her answer and continue to live a happy life together.
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A
female
reader, nothing.lasts.and.nothing's.lost +, writes (2 August 2010):
 So you saw a message on her phone from a man, did you see what she'd text him back in her sent inbox? Yes, this could be serious and it could infact be that she is cheating, in which case you should note down the number, confront her, or even keep watch on her to see where she goes; do some spying.. On the other hand, some idiot could of just text her being rude. It could be someone she doesn't even know, it could be a male friend, an admirer, but it does not necasseraly mean that she has cheated for definate. I've had quite a few rude messages from numbers I don't even know, and my boyfriend has freaked out jumping to conclusions, when I've simply recieved a message from a complete stranger and been very shocked by it!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2010): Did you check her sent items and other text messages? It could be just a prank from one of her friends etc. Check her call logs, emails and other stuff.
If you think she'll just brush it off, then it might be better to wait and gather more evidence. If I'd seen that on my girls phone I would have texted him back pretending to be her in order to see what was actually going on.
I'd even arrange an elaborate date with him, ask him to pay for an expensive hotel room and book a table for dinner etc. on a day I knew my girlfriend wasn't available.
Normally I'd advise talking it out, but I think you need more evidence first and decide then where to go with it.
I'd be more worried that she didn't tell you about the text. This gives me the impression that it might be more serious. Just make sure you have proof before you go accusing of her stuff.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2010): Well did she reply to it? Did you look if he's contacted before, does seh write back to him? if not, then calm it mate.
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A
male
reader, dyeruz +, writes (2 August 2010):
umm if she found a message on your from a woman saying the same thing how would she act? Obviously you feel something's been amiss, otherwise you wouldn't have been snooping on her phone, but seriously, joke or not it's not right to be receiving such messages, talk to her and see what she says and how she acts, could speak volumes.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (2 August 2010):
Confront her. You won't resolve this peacefully until you know what she has been up to. You need to know what has happened, so confront her and just say clearly what you found and that you've been suspicious for some time.
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A
male
reader, Compartmentalizing +, writes (2 August 2010):
Did you write the phone number down?
If you did, you can call him and say that "name" is in the hospital and gave this number as a contact, then ask who are you speaking with, are you her husband, brother, relative, etc.
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A
female
reader, cocoqueen88 +, writes (2 August 2010):
 talk to her about it anyways because this is serious. if she dances around it and never answers the question then forget patching it up because she's steppin out on you. and if that's the case how do you know if your child is yours? what did she say back to that text?
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