A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello i really need help with this its killing me. Ive just moved my boyfriend in and he bought his pc wellni looked at it and found loads of lolicon on it. It was horrible and my head is so messed up, we have been friend years then i started dating him a year and half ago i have 2 children with my ex partner. 2 girls and thats why i am worried. This films and pictures were before he even got a girlfriend. He hasnt dated much. The was also incest in these films alot and men having sex with young girls and blackmailing. A picture with a toddle on a mans private parts please help was thos because he was young as he was 19 and since i havent found anything else.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2012): I would be most concerned about all of it being on your computer. In the United states if that kind of porn was found out (generally a long going investigation of tracking kiddy porn and where it goes) it would land you in jail. Anyone watching that kind of filth will eventually take it into the real world. There are no excuses for this at all, and your first priority is your children, not protecting and making excuses for this low life.
A
female
reader, maverick494  +, writes (2 October 2012):
This guy was never who you thought he was, OP. He hid his real self from you. He hid it because he knew that part of him is disturbing and wrong. Hell, he's still hiding it. Do not buy into the innocent act. He lied to you, tried to squirm his way out using flimsy excuses.
Only men who know they're guilty do this so the whole idea of "I didn't know it was wrong" doesn't fly. He knows, OP. He's known for a long time. He just doesn't want you to know what a creep he truly is.
When I was a kid I knew that adults desiring to have sex with children is wrong. Every kid knows this. So it's impossible for this guy to 'discover it was wrong' when he got his first gf as a teen. That's a load of BS to make him come across as some tragic soul. He doesn't deserve your sympathy. But he knows you are a kind person who likes to think the best of people, so he tries to take advantage of that.
And when it comes to the computer: if you hate yourself for being into kiddie porn you delete every bit of it off your computer. You sure as hell don't let it stay on it for 7 years "and forget about it". He was always aware that stuff was on there. He was just confident you'd never find it. You say that computer has been untouched for all those years. Who says that's true? He does. Well, he's probably lying.
This is not some innocent "curiosity killed the cat" teenage experimentation phase. Wake up, please. I know this is hard, but you have to understand that this person you ache for doesn't exist. It's just a shell to hide what he truly is: a pedophile.
There are treatments for them available. There are pedophiles who manage to curb their desires and live a relatively normal life. They're the ones who take the initiative and seek out help. Your bf is just making excuses and trying to get you to feel sorry for him through mentions of suicide. He hasn't tried to deal with this disturbing issue. Instead, he hid it from you and put your kids at risk when agreeing to live together with you. That's not kindness, OP. That's a man who is secretly okay with being a pedophile.
I'm not trying to be harsh here on purpose, just hoping to open up your eyes to who he truly is. Be glad you're rid of him. Now your children are truly safe. I don't know how old they are but are you truly sure he's never touched them? If they're very young it may have happened but they may not know what to do or say.
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A
female
reader, Candid Cally +, writes (2 October 2012):
I was once engaged to a man who told me he had sick pornography on his computer because he liked the thrill of having the 'taboo' material, but didn't like what the material was. I was not even 18, incredibly naive, and I believed him. We broke up when he told me that he did something I would never forgive him for. He didn't have to tell me what he did. I knew.
Men who have child porn have it because they are more than curious. Most of them do end up acting out their depraved fantasies.
I am glad you got away. Never look back. And never ever invite strange men to live with you an your girls!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionLook i am not ill.I am confused, messed up, and disappointed in myself.I have known this man a long time as we went to high school together and same year. He worked with me and i was his boss.Not once did i think all this. he worked with me for 5 years and then i got together with him. Before that he had a girlfriend before me and no children was in that relelationship. I knew would have thought it and i am not making excuses. I dont want to make sure as he was younger and maybe curiousity killed the cat everyone does it but most of us think no that aint right and i will never go there again. dont know if he was just young and made a huge mistake and seen this was wrong and never did it again. I know for a fact he hasnt hurt my children or anyone else as i know. I not saying he may never do it as i cant see into the future but i hope he can find help before he does hurt some child or put down. All i know he is not in my life now and me and my children are safe. Yes i feel sorry for him as he said he didnt mean to do it and he hates himself for he did, he said he wanted to hang himself but if he can get help and be fixed and never see children as what ever and live normal I have given statement to police and he will be going to court have to wait. I know your all trying to help here but its hard for me right now i have lost my best friend and lover who i was meant to spend the rest of my life with.
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A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (1 October 2012):
 I think you are a bit confused yourself. You posted a question about your boyfriend's disturbing photos, now you have convinced yourself that those photos are "ok" because he "didn't see them as wrong".
Didn't see them as wrong? And now you feel sorry for him?
Let me tell you something. If the guy thought they were wrong, he would have wiped those pictures clean from his computer. However, he didn't.
Now you are feeling sorry for him because he is just a little "disturbed"? Do you not realize that people who do this to children AND people who look at and fancy these pictures are engaging in criminal activity? So the rest of society finds him to be a criminal who looks at child porn, but you feel sorry for him?
I am sorry, but if that is the way you feel, you are in need of some help also.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (1 October 2012):
 I understand that you feel a sense of empathy for this guy, the thing is if he knew and still knows that those images are sick why did he not delete it? It doesn't make sense.
And I doubt you can find many 19 year old who DOESN'T KNOW instinctual & intellectually that it is VERY wrong - the guy needs help. Mental help.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (1 October 2012):
 He *is* a nasty man. He is beyond nasty, because the screams of toddlers didn't even enter his mind when he derived sexual pleasure from pictures of their abuse.
Serial killers, rapists, child molesters, pretty much all of them hate themselves. That doesn't stop them from what they do, and whether or not they "like" themselves doesn't stop them from wanting to destroy the innocence of little children.
Why do you *think* he has a hard time with relationships? Why do you *think* that he is "shy"? You're so busy feeling sorry for him that you don't see the signs for what they are. It goes far beyond the pictures. His urges to have sex with little children and toddlers has made him aware that his sexual urges keep him from having true relationships. Do you think he would be with you if you didn't have little girls??
This guy has *FILMS* depicting men having sex and incest with children. This isn't something to ever feel sorry over him for. He isn't shy. He is a sexual deviant who is more turned on by your little girls than he his by you.
I'm happy you got him out of your house, if you're indeed telling the truth. But you have to go farther. You need him out of your very life. You need to eliminate his access to you, your children, and your entire world.
If you keep feeling sorry for him, talking to him, thinking about him, keeping him in your life, then you keep your girls in danger. All it takes is for you to stay familiar to him and him to use that familiarity to insinuate himself back into your life and your daughters' lives.
If you are this emotionally needy and deluded and can't help yourself from seeing him (the worst mistake of your life), then for god sake, get your daughters away from you, because you are a danger to them. Get them to your ex, or call the state or something, because your love for your children should erase any good or pitiable feelings for this pedophile, and if it doesn't, you put them in grave danger.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (1 October 2012):
 I'm glad to hear you got out of there. I know it seems impossible, but there isn't a "type" of man who is a pedophile. One in my school district as a kid was arrested and no one had ever suspected him because he was charming and kind to everyone in public.
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A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (1 October 2012):
Why are you making excuses for him? There is no way to help you or your children if you are going to make excuses. Why would it matter if he was a teenager when he put them on there. That would make it even more disturbing to me...that he has had this preference since he was a teen and how many other kids have been around him? No normal person, teen or adult, has this stuff on his computer. Do you understand that?
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (1 October 2012):
 A pic of a WHAAAT on a man's private parts ?...
Good grief. Totally sickening.
A thought for you to chew on : are you sure , CAN you be sure that your BF has not been dating you, and moving in with you... precisely BECAUSE of your two young girls ?
Ever read " Lolita " by Nabokov ?... About a guy who marries his landlady just for the chance of getting closer to, and taking advantage of, her 11 y.o. daughter ?...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOkay we spoke last night as i wanted to know, he has handed himself to the police and explained to me a lot last night. I don't think he was like that as he is not a nasty man amd i know you all mean well. He is just a bit mixed up. I for one has got away from him though and will never see him again. He did explain he was young and curious at that age and when he got with his first girlfriend he realised that with kids is wrong and he hated himself for what he did. It's hard to explain to you all as he didn't see this as wrong but said once he knew he hated himself and since he has let the pc thing in his mothers and forgot about them as years ago. I am glad i am away bit. i can't help feel sorry for him i know he couldn't harm anyone even kids or animal or me. He is so shy. It took ages to move him in as he doesnt do a lot for himself. Thank you for your help though this man has gone and i am safe with girls.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2012): You have a chance here to get him away from your children before he possibly does something to them that they will NEVER FORGET and will RUIN their lives.
Kick him out. No questions, no "ifs" no "buts" no "maybes", just him out. Now.
If he does something to your children you will never forgive yourself, and they will NEVER forgive you. Trust me, I know.
Get this creep out of your house, save your children. No man is worth ruining your children's life.
Sorry if this sounds harsh, but as someone who already had their childhood ruined - I am telling you it is not even worth the risk if you love your children.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (1 October 2012):
It may only be illustrations and not actual photos depicting children doing unspeakable acts, but it most certainly IS a neon flashing sign that he is sexually turned on by little girls like your daughters. Every day he's in your house, he is fantasizing about destroying your daughters' vaginas....and I can't even write more in more detail because even sitting here and typing out the sheer violence of violating a child is horrific to me, and I know I'm not alone.
Why the hell are you still talking to us about this??? Him being young at the time has nothing to do with whether he has those feelings or not. HE HAS THEM. Those don't go away without serious, permanent, ongoing, neverending psychotherapy, and even then, the rate of recidivism for those who have acted on them is obscenely high.
You *have* to get away from him, and even more importantly, you *have* to get your kids away from him. Not many moms get the heads-up you just got. Usually, their first warning is their terrified children being raped over and over under the threat of killing you if they ever talk.
You are a mom before anything and above all else. He has a *lot* of lolicon. This isn't some random picture that a perverted buddy sent him. He went looking for this. Get him out of your house immediately.
From here on out, if you don't get him away and out of your life, you are responsible for any harm done to your children by him. You should be thinking that he got close to you to get to your daughters. Your rationalization of trying to find an excuse for what you found is horrifying, and should horrify you that you are wavering a millimeter from imminent danger to your children. We are moms. We would give our lives for them. If we ever saw someone hurting our children, we would move heaven and earth, even if it meant spending our last breath to protect them.
No man is worth sacrificing your children, and even every second of his running his eyes over your child is a violation. Think they don't feel that? They do.
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A
female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (1 October 2012):
This guy is a pedophile, OP. He may have a way with words but that's the only one suitable for him. He's bad news. He's manipulative. Look at you, you're just a puppet on his strings, barely able to think for yourself. Something propelled you to come here: your gut. Listen to it. It's screaming at you to get yourself and your kids the hell away from this guy.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (1 October 2012):
I'm sorry but it's NOT OK for a teenager to like a **A picture with a toddle on a mans private parts** any less then it's OK for someone in their 20's -30's 40's and so forth.
It's freaking sick at ANY age.
Why are you making all these excuses for him?
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (30 September 2012):
 MY GAWD... how many different ways can we Aunts and Uncles say it to you unwitting girls??..... GET THIS CREEP AWAY FROM YOUR HOME and KIDS.... GET HIM AWAY FROM YOU!!!!!
You say: "I just moved him in..." Well.... now, move his perverted a*s OUT!!!!!
Good luck....
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionis it kids porn or not though as looked on internet and says anime its that silly cartoon japan stuff. Its so hard as he aint a fan of kids i am with them 24/7 and he was young and he pc has been in attic for 7 years he got it as we moved its was his mothers house.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (30 September 2012):
Get him out of there ASAP. Child porn is illegal for a reason, because real children are raped to make it. Men who enjoy it do not care about that. You don't want a man who thinks his pleasure trumps child rape. If he won't leave, call the police on him for possession.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (30 September 2012):
GET HIM OUT OF YOUR HOUSE!!!
Like do it NOW! He is a serious and imminent danger to your daughters. Get the police to help you! Child pornography is illegal, and that alone will get him arrested.
Oh my god. I wouldn't even wait one second. It doesn't matter the slightest bit that these pictures are old, because those feelings don't just go away! He kept them.
Get him the hell out of your house right now. Like the other aunts said, get every male friend and relative you have in on this one too.
Don't you dare wait, and stay in communication with your children!
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A
female
reader, sammi star +, writes (30 September 2012):
 I can't believe you're even asking this! There's not a chance in hell I'd have my girls within a million miles of this guy! Chuck him out and ring the police. I don't see that you have any other option
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (30 September 2012):
Sorry, he would get 20 minutes to pack his shit and get out. The fact that he kept them speaks volumes.
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A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (30 September 2012):
Actually, since it is your home, I would move him back out with the help of your ex and/or dad, brothers, and/or any male friends you have. You need a support network. You can also turn him and his computer into law enforcement officials.
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A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (30 September 2012):
You need to leave this home immediately for the safety of your children. Stay with a friend or family member until you can gather your things and leave permanently. Your children are at risk, and there is no way I would trust someone with that content on his computer.
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