A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my boyfriend for just over 2 years, but I find it very hard to trust him on the internet...We met each other on a dating site 2years ago and I left my partner to be with him.Things were going well, but I have a bad case of paranoia, which was made worse when I found him on a sexual dating website.He claimed that the profile was his friends who he allowed to use his pictures etc. I was really upset with finding this out and I finished the relationship because I didnt trust him after this.I still have doubts about it and him, but I try to push these away. I keep getting random paranoid outburts where I get really annoyed with him for no reason, and where I prowl through all the dating sites on the internet trying to find him, but I never can.I really get a gut feeling that something isn't right, but I can't rely just on that...Am I being silly? I need some advice!
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female
reader, sunrise +, writes (6 July 2007):
 Hi, you are not being silly and you have every right to feel paranoid, i know i would, his excuses are really lame,why wouldn't his friend use his own picture? no sorry i dont buy it either.
Without trust you dont have anything, leave him to his sexual dating site, let him mess with someone elses feelings. You dont deserve to torture yourself and from what you say he's not doing a lot to reasure you.
Go with your gut feeling and find someone that finds you enough and doesn't need dating sites. Good luck x
A
female
reader, Sugarbuns  +, writes (6 July 2007):
 You didn't really fall for that one did you? That's the oldest lie in the internet-dating-site books -- he let his friend use his picture on a dating site. Come on. Nobody does that. He put himself out there. He just didn't want you to know it. Well that was dumb and he got busted big time. Unfortunately now he could simply go underground, use a fake name, no picture and he'll still be cruising the dating sites. Keep on eye on him, there will be other signs if he's cheating, like mysterious out of town trips with a "male" friend. Or when he won't answer his cell phone if you're around or seems protective of it all of a sudden. In time you'll figure it out. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (6 July 2007):
 You sit down with him and you draw up boundaries. Seeing his picture on other dating sites is overstepping the boundary so let him know this. If he has any respect for you then he'll take his profile off. Bollocks to the excuse it's his friend's profile! Good try but I don't believe that for one minute.
You already have a feeling in your gut that there's something amiss in your relationship and gut feelings are nearly always right. Talk to him and tell him you're not happy with the situation the way things are. Looking on dating sites for other "friends" is NOT healthy in a relationship, especially if he's furtive about when he does this. It only causes him to lie more to cover his tracks and for distrust and resentment to build in you so you have to talk to him about this sooner rather than later.
Eve
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (6 July 2007):
 I don't think you are being silly. This could be a red flag. I don't believe his excuse for the profile. I suppose, however, that you've met this person and perhaps you know what he is like.
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