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I love them both and don't know what to do about it!

Tagged as: Cheating, Dating, Three is a crowd, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (6 July 2007) 2 Answers - (Newest, 6 July 2007)
A female Bahamas age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Well I have a dilemma!!! It started say two weeks ago. My ex-boyfriend's best freiend told me that my ex-boyfriend still loved me and wanted to be with me. I didn't believe until I heard it for myself. Well me and my exboyfriend had a phone conversation and he told me he loved me, he missed me like crazy. We ended up making out and it felt just like old times and all of my old feelings for him came back but here's the problem - he is still with his girlfriend and I'm still with my boyfriend and we went to the movies the other day and made out again...

I don't know what to do...cuz I love them both....

I'm so confused, can someone please give me some advice!!!

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A female reader, Sugarbuns Australia +, writes (6 July 2007):

Sugarbuns agony auntYou both have to agree to sit down with your current mates and have "the talk" and then gracefully extract yourself from those relationships first, before you continue sneaking around behind their backs anymore. It'll hurt. It'll be painful but it has to be done. Just make sure you really want to be back with the 'ex' -- consider carefully what drove you apart in the first place because you are both the same people and even though you both miss each other you have to wonder if your love strong enough to see you through the problems you had to begin with. What's different this time around? What's changed? Just make sure you're not simply attracted to the idea of the forbidden (sneaking around behind the backs of the others) and that you really can make it work out this time around. If there's a shadow of doubt, take a step back and think about the pros and cons of your current relationship. It might not be wise to go back the ex and then just fight about the same old things. Good luck.

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A female reader, AskEve United Kingdom +, writes (6 July 2007):

AskEve agony auntNeither of you are being honest with your other halves here. You can't have both of them, you know that don't you? You can choose to continue doing what you're doing and eventually get caught, you'll probably hurt your boyfriend more than you know, he, in turn will break it off with you as he'd never be able to trust you again and you'll be looked at as a "tart" by your ex's girlfriend.

You end up with no self respect, your reputation in tatters and even more confused in the longrun, is that what you want? You need to think long and hard about this and decide who you really want. You might break it off with your boyfriend and the ex decides NOT to finish with his girlfriend, that's the chance you take but you DO need to make that decision. It's not fair on the girlfriend OR your boyfriend.

My advice to you is to take some space from both guys until you sort your head out!

Eve

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