A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I just recently found a man i was in love with back in high school, and still in love with after. We were together for four years even after he moved away. He then moved back after high school graduation so we could be together. The thing is, the relationship never ended on our terms. It was split up by my parents, and now after 16 years of no contact, i finally found him on - of all places - myspace. He's married now but from what he's told me he's not happy and maybe close to a divorce. He tells me he's missed me and just from little bits and pieces it sounds like he's still in love with me after all these years. I would love to get back with him, but the fact he's married has held me back. I dont want to persue him while he's married either because i dont want to be the one that caused the divorce. I just dont know what to do, Dont know if i should just disappear again and maybe look him up again in a year or what. What do you think would be best?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2008): I can tell you from first hand experience that the absolute best thing to do is to keep your distance. My lost love came back into my life in May 2008 after 21 years. We first e-mailed then began talking daily...3-4 times a day. He was calling constantly and it felt wonderful to have that connection again...I have always loved him and he stated he felt the same way. He too stated he wasn't happy within his marriage. Because they don't live together I took the chance and actually spent time with him, we live 600 miles apart. He decided that we could talk any longer because we could do nothing about our situation. He has a daughter in the city he lives in and I'm pretty much anchored where I live. He feels that even though he has fallen back in love with me there's nothing he can do and he doesn't want a long distance relationship and to talk to me will only make him want to be with me...so he's choosing not to talk to me any longer. Do I believe this, was I used, was it just curiosity on his part, still not too sure but I do know that it knocked me to my knees emotionally and I'm still not 100% emotionally, thank goodness for great friends! If it's meant to be it's better to begin when both are free to take another chance at love. Good luck to you!
A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (20 September 2008):
 Do not interfere in his marriage or become a catalyst to end it. Don't encourage him by patting him on the back and giving the "poor baby" treatment when he is moaning about his life and problems. Stay out of his business. If he is a single man some day, take it slow and date him. The rules are very simple but people don't like to play by the rules. As in your case, you want instant gratification......You're not entitled to instant gratification with someone else's spouse.
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A
female
reader, Deema  +, writes (20 September 2008):
 Well the fact that you're on here asking us shows that you don't feel this is the right thing to do while he's married or you'd be doing it!!!! Yes, something may come of it, but how would you feel if someone came running after your husband when things were already tough for you? You have to leave things alone and let him deal with what he has to deal with. Then and only then is he free to decide what he wants to do with the next part of his life. Don't set yourself up for heartache. He may have a fling with you and never leave his wife, then where does that leave you. Wait till he's a free man. It will make you feel a whole lot better too and make him respect you more. Good luck.
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A
male
reader, kinkydude +, writes (20 September 2008):
what do I think is best? You already know the answer to your question, i believe.
Its not really appropriate to get involved with him right now. Wait till the marriage is over, and its been some time. That way he's on his own, and can make a proper decision. I keep some distance till that happens.
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A
female
reader, teencitizen92 +, writes (20 September 2008):
i think you should tell him you dont want to spilt up his marriage but tell him how you feel and if he says he does too then yall will figure out from there. but if he doesnt thats his loss not yours. youve been with out him for sixteen years you can do it again.
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