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age
26-29,
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writes: Everytime my boyfriend is sad or depressed like....I feel bad or even useless when I ask him if he wants to tlk about it and he says no or i ask if i can help and he says "no". Of course i respect him,i dont try to pry into his buisness nor do i persuade him to talk to me more about his problems,I just give him his space and wait until he starts talkin to me again but even then it sucks to know that I cant make him feel any better about anything bad going on in his life no matter how much i wish i could.What to do when youre in a situation like this like what would you do to feel better about it?
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female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (19 April 2011):
 Girls like to do this thing called "co-rumination", which means talking about things over and over and over and over. Guys are not as apt to do this. You are doing the right thing by not pushing it out of him. You ask if you can help, you make yourself available and if he's not needing to talk it all out - that's okay. Just be there.
Keep your own life going too. Don't let yourself get sucked into his depression. That is his battle, not yours. So continue your life and make sure that you don't allow his depression to be contagious. You can not cure depression, at least not single-handedly, so do not be trying to rescue him or pull him out of it. Depression isn't always logical or rational. My husband is clinically depressed, and it's still hard for me to understand or know how to best deal with it. All I can tell you is that YOU YOURSELF will not cure him of his depression. And it is easy to get sucked in to their world. Don't be vulnerable to that, and don't put unneeded pressure on yourself. Best of luck, sweet!
A
female
reader, ToHereKnowsWhen  +, writes (19 April 2011):
 You are doing a good thing to leave him plenty of space to repair himself. Let him know you care, but use that time to do some things for yourself. Don't let your life revolve around his moods. You are young and have a lot more life ahead of you. All the best.
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (19 April 2011):
 You have to stop letting his depression affect you. He might say no but he needs help. You need to be his little ray of sunshine when he is feeling dark. Show him happiness, show him joy and he will stop falling into his own sorrow.
To be honest, I think you two are a little too young. You are still going through changes and this sort of thing is going to happen a lot more, what with your hormones raging all over the place. I am not encouraging you to break up with him, I am not saying that you should surrender all hope in this relationship, I am just saying, prepare yourself for heartache because more often than not, relationships at your age do not last and when you add depression into this, it just isn't worth the pain.
I hope that helps.
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