A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Lately, I have been thinking about this guy who I had a fling with a few months ago.I can't seem to get over him. I thought I could get over him by finding someone else...but I can't find anyone else. This makes me feel ugly and insecure about myself. My friends have boyfriends and this just makes me feel worse.How can I stop feeling this way?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2007): Heres what i learned, lets say someone called your friend ugly, you'd tell that person off right? well the next time you say negative comments about yourself stick up for yourself in the same way. Then youll see that your being unfairly critical to yourself. And another thing try to indulge in things that make you feel good about your self like a new outfit, hair style, spend a day with the girls at the spa. "Love yourself before loving others".
A
female
reader, x.Helpful.Cupid.x  +, writes (20 February 2007):
 Hiya.Babe!! Stop the negative talk!! Im sure your beautiful, and there are ways to make yourself feel beautiful inside without makeup etc. This boy is/was very important to you, and now its ended im sure your very upset, as we all get after a break-up. But babe we all feel insecure and ugly when things are tough, because we become a little stressed. Try to not think about finding someone else..if you dont look for them..they will look for you. Try to spend extra time on yourself, nice clothes, makeup and maybe a massage or something. Also, try to have a good time with friends, family etc, because im sure you can be happy without him. If you still feel low, try to spend alot of time with people that make you happy. And remember hold your head high..GIRLS ON TOP!xx Good Luck xx
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A
male
reader, goodbutnotgifted  +, writes (20 February 2007):
 Sounds like you need to figure out who you are to make better dating choices, your lack of confidence is someone elses point of view. Your fine, in the words of doctor Suess, say what you feel and be who you are because those who matter dont care and those who care dont matter. Your friends are lost in thinking they need a man to be happy, foolish and self destructive, watch them fall apart from your perch where you accept only guys who will respect you because they need you and you are able to function with or without them. Not just going with whos asking in an attempt to convince yourself through everyone else that your attractive or whatever. Who is that for, really? I mean after you meet their standards or are the in thing then what? you have their envy but not their respect and your with a guy you dont know, like, or respect just trying to keep up apearences. in fact your friends, if they had envy or jealousy for you or your boyfriend situation, would posting online about loneliness. What would the value of those kinds of relationships be? dating some faceless guy just to convince your friends your worthy? Your worthy because your not just running around mindlessly dating it up. your better than that, and I think you'll be fine once you get free of trying to meet other people expectations, because honestly people are messed up kid, but you sound like you're not. You'll be fine just be yourself and all that will work itself out.
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A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (20 February 2007):
 Hey there's more to life then guys! And I'm sure you are a lovely person and good looking with it, it's just all in your head. Have a good look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself what you would like to change. Set yourself a timetable where you're going to improve on your "bad bits." Exercise for 15 minutes 3 times a week, you don't need expensive equipment, aeorbics or just sticking on an exercise DVD is all that you need. Next take some "me time" to yourself. Pamper yourself, have a luxurious bubble bath, paint your toenails, shave your legs, put a face mask on, colour your hair. Do things to make YOU feel good.
Tell yourself you don't need that guy you had a fling with, he's not good enough for you and you're waiting for that special soul mate to come along. Leaving one guy and rushing straight into another relationship isn't the answer. You need to find YOURSELF first and be happy with who you are. Build up your confidence and self esteem which will help you become a happy and assertive woman.
I'm going to give you 3 links. One that shows you how to "find yourself," one to build up your confidence and one with a quiz to do, to see just how high/low your self esteem is at the moment and how to maintain or work on it.
http://www.wikihow.com/Find-Yourself
http://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence
http://www.selfesteem4women.com/index.php
Take a good look at yourself, work on your bad points and enhance your good ones. Soon that guy will be nothing more than a bad memory as you become happy and content with the wonderful, confident and assertive woman that lies hiding inside you, just waiting to be brought out for all the world to see.
Eve
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A
female
reader, nicola79 +, writes (20 February 2007):
 Well I think you are going round it the wrong way, if you look for a relationship its just not going to happen.You are NOT ugly,its just one of those things most of go through,having a fling,a one night stand and you think they are the one for you?Let me tell you, you are a young lady who will meet many more men that you will think is mr right and then one day BOOM you find him and you will look back on this day and laugh.Your time will come and when it does you will know. All the best to you and please keep me posted.xxxxxxx
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