A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am 25 years old and mother of 2. I'm married for 6 years now and I find my self not in love with my husband anymore. I have been supporting my husband financially so he can graduate for the past 4 1/2 years. (he is supposed to be done next summer) He says he loves me but doesnt really show it. He never has done anything romantic. Most people would say with the support I give him not just financially he should spoil me but he is not even able to give u one good example of what he does for me. I always cook I take care of the house and spend every minute out of work with my kids. When he is not busy studying or playing soccer every weekend he is a good dad. I dont want to break my kids heart. And I dont want to get a divorce. Everybody else in my family kids ,husband, the in laws are happy except me. I dont want to be selfish and after all he is not a bad guy. I'm really scared, everyday it has been a battle inside me. I feel unappreciated. I guess and I know this sounds cheesy but I just want to feel loved. He doesnt even know that I feel this way. Im even to chicken to tell him. I mean I feel so insecure about his love that I dont even know if he would fight for me.
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female
reader, largentsgirl89 +, writes (17 December 2010):
 Tell your husband how you feel. Tell him you feel unappreciated and unloved. Communication between couples is a very key element if you want to make the relationship work. It's hard to tell someone that, but he needs to know.
I would feel under appreciated too if I was working to support all of us financially (does he get financial help through the school he is at) and being the primary care giver. I don't think you are wrong in the least to feel this way and perhaps your husband just doesn't know how you feel.
Maybe it's time for him to seduce you again and let you know that he knows he is lucky to have you. Talk to him.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (17 December 2010):
I think he does love you. But I think the problem is that like quite a lot of men, he's too focused on something else. If he didn't love you, he really wouldn't be with you and he wouldn't be happy. The other thing is that men aren't mind readers. There seems to be this thing that men are supposed to know it's all okay. I'm afraid we're not quite that perceptive. But I do know one thing, and that is that if the love of his life comes to him and tells him there a problems, a man will kick his own ass into gear. You must take your chance and explain how you feel about all this. You're suffering silently, and by doing that you're making it seem as if everything is okay. You need to tell him how you feel, sit down, have a good cry with him and tell him that you need him to show more attention. I'm sure that he will make an effort once he knows that you're unhappy. And if he doesn't make the effort, then you'll know the truth.
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A
female
reader, EJ  +, writes (17 December 2010):
Hi. Sounds to me like you are letting this happen to you. Why are chicken to tell him? Don't you value yourself to not let this continue. This is not yet the stage for thinking of a divorce. Our loved ones take us for granted because we allow it. Tell him first and see what happens. Then, consider seeing a counsellor to talk things out. You give because you choose to give. You are not obligated to. If you feel you do not want to give anymore - then you should follow up that decision. Don't give to the point of exhaustion. When was the last you did something for yourself to make you happy? Don't wait only for him to do that. And tell him what you would like him to do. Most men may not know that.Finally, your happiness is your choice. Make it happen for you.Have a magical life!
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