A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend 2 years younger than me finished her studies in NZ, and she went back to vietnam due to family issue. She will be there for at least a couple of years, and due to my personal issue, i cant work in vietnam. so, we are currently in a long distance relationship.Anyway, as time goes by, her contact time with me diminished, from 5 times a week, to almost 1-2 times every 2 weeks (not including short long distance phone calls made by me or smses i sent). She never initiate any smses to me anymore, but she will reply my smses. We originally plan to skype every saturday, but she seldom online on saturday anymore. Several times, she told me she would be online but i had waited the entire night till almost dawn break (due to time differences) but yet to see her online. Finally few days ago, i felt something amiss, so, i call her and ask if there is anything i should worry about. She aplogise and told me there is so many interesting things happen in her life right now, and she dont want to miss it. But she still sincerely care for me and want me to be happy. she is torn between her life and our life. She told me its her fault and she is sorry. i accepted her apologies so that she won't feel too bad, but still, i feel hurt. So, boys and girls, ladies and gentlemen. What should i do? i confronted her, she apologize, i still feel hurt, and i havent seen any changes made. Should i do the same and give her the cold shoulder? Or should i do nothing at all. I dont really know what to do. Should i break up with her? Cause it seems like she is enjoying her interesting life without me, while i am working so hard to maintain this relationship.
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male
reader, steph007  +, writes (17 December 2010):
You should find a girlfriend. Not a wife, just a girlfriend. And you will see how your life will change. Maybe your Vietnamese girl will go back to you and make you happy, maybe she will never go back, and you have to find your own way. But meantime you dawdle away your time without girl, company, fun, and amusement.
A
female
reader, EJ  +, writes (17 December 2010):
First, let me just say long-term relationships are very very challenging. I have been on two and it didn't work. There is no familiarity anymore -nothing much to share. And by the sound of it, it looks like she has build herself a life that she enjoys tremendously.You are still trapped in the past - that familiar feeling which is really tough to let go. The way I worked out mine was I looked around and find what interests me. Change your routine. If you have to stay away from the internet for awhile do it. She is your past - learn what you need to and move on. Easier said than done? Everything is easier said than done. You can do this. The pangs of missing her will reduce in intensity - day by day.You can. Plus if the two of you got together now I suspect you will have nothing much in common which will just prolong the agony. The Universe has helped you by putting distance between you to cushion the blow.Have a magical life!
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