A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I feel so down about my home life. I got pregnant after being with my partner for a year. My little boy is now 2 and I love him to peices, but if I am honest I wasnt ready to be a mum and I felt a bit forced into the situation. My partner was very broody and I have always resented him for not being more careful (silly i know because it was my fault too). He proposed to me when I was pregnant. We got married a year ago and I feel completely disapointed with everything,and ungrateful for everything I have. I feel terrible and like such a bad wife and mother. I work full time and get up at 5.30 so my little boy is in nursery, i love him but feel too exhausted when I get home and wiped out after I have made him dinner and read a story. I do try hard to be a good mum but my partner and i have no relationship - we dont have sex and rarely talk just the two of us and cuddle. We used to gt on so well and now nothing. My parents live too far away to help and my husband wonty ask for regular help from his family so it makes it worse. i have become so bored and lonely that I have started seeing an ex - i feel auful and i know it isnt helping. it is just nice to have intimacy with someone that i lack at home - but i feel guilty all the time and know i must be a bad person. I feel like crying all the time. i know it sounds terrible but i just want to feel special and loved again. i dont want to cheat but it is so miserable. I have lost interst in everything and just want to sleep. I am sorry - i know i have been bad and dont expect sympathy but need to tell someone. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, straight to the truth +, writes (2 August 2010):
Firstly you sound depressed and I would suggest speaking with your doctor.
Secondly you can not blame your partner for falling pregnant because this is your responsibility too, if you didn't want a child you would have been more careful.
You now have a son that you love to bits, you and your husband have got something in common....your child.
If you have time to see your ex then you have time to make time for your husband. you need to stop seeing your ex and work on your marriage, even if it is maybe going out on a date one night a week if possible, or if thats not possible the have a date night in doors. hire a dvd cook a romantic dinner put your son to bed early and cuddle up on the sofa with a glass of wine.
if you are depressed and the doctor feels that way then he will sign you off work to give you time to get yourself sorted.
is there anyway you could work part time? give yourself more time? look in to working tax credits to see if you could manage.
I am sure you would rather make your marriage work and be a family and be happy that work full time all the time and be so tired and down.
get the attention you need from your family and make the effort. sit down and explain to your husband you are feeling a little lonely and that you miss how you use to be.
If you dont fix this now you will lose everything.
I wish you all the best and i hope you turn things around soon.
A
male
reader, dyeruz +, writes (2 August 2010):
Your broody husband manned up and proposed to you when you got pregnant, there are lots of men out there that don't even take care of their kids, you dont have sex but cuddle, maybe you need to talk to your husband heart to heart and tell him how you really feel, not only will you break his heart with your fooling around but you'll also break up your family. Running away to fantasy land with your ex is not the solution and it can only end badly for all involved. Remember your vows, for better for worse. Good luck.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (2 August 2010):
I think you need to see a doctor. You're not a bad person. From reading your post, I think there is a very high chance that you have post natal depression, and I think you need to see a doctor with your husband so you can both fix this. You must leave this ex in the past if you wish to make something of your family that you have with the man you married. You must. Otherwise, before you've even really embarked on family life it will be taken away. For the sake of yourself, your marriage and your little boy, see a doctor and get help to fix this. Don't let all this fall apart, or you'll feel even worse. Don't be afraid to get help and speak with your husband.
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