A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:well.. i have a very hard time right now deciding what i want... long story but i need some type of advice and i have no where to go to..My husband and i met in high school back in 2000.he was my first boyfriend and my first love,, my first EVERYTHING!! everything was really strong at first other then him being a big mama's boy.. i became pregnant , his mother didnt know but she didnt like me.and his mother made him leave me. he went into the air force and i was a single mother and didnt know where he was stationed.. eventually a couple years down the line i ran into his mother and she didnt know that his son is his.. i asked her if i can have his number to see how he been and she gave it to me.. ever since then we been together..we got back together in late 2002 our son was only 6 months old..he came home leave and we got married.. it was all new to him having a baby cuz he didnt know if i was pregnant or not when he left meand we were young at the time only 20 yrs old so it was new having a wife as well.. we started out back again really strong. u couldnt find a better couple.. people would look up to us and praise our relationship. on march 30th 2005 my grandmother passed away.. he was very close to my grandparents.. he became very cold toward everyone and distant.. then it turned over to me and our kids cuz by then we had another one.. which was a girl.. we pushed through it and tried to stay strong.. we had another child which was another girl.. and things started getting rougher with us.. he joined back in the military( active army national guard) when he was out of the military for the first 3 years we been through alot he couldnt keep a jod and we were evicted 5 times from our apartment ( I) had to go to several different places to get help and beg for food and pampers for our kids.. i had to go to social services to get help with food stamp and help with our rent..while he was sitting home doing nothing.. well he joined the national guard and they took him off to training for 2 months, me and the kids had to move into a hotel cuz no one could help us out anymore.. within those 2 months come to find out he was cheating on me.. i found out on feb 16th and made everything so iffy, and how i found out he didnt even talk to me or the three kids on valentines day.. instead he was talking to this girl and her friends trying to find out what they were doing for the night.. messed up huh.? well... itook him back.. he promised me the world.. and i gained trust in him again.. i got pregnant and i wasnt that excited cuz i was afraid he was going to break my heart again.. but he did pretty good..when i was about 6 months pregnant he joinded the active army.. they set him a school date to leave for training.. it was when the baby was due.. ( another girl) well i had her delivery scheduled.. for 8 days befor he left.. i had to get a emergence c-section.. and i almost died.. the baby was fine, but i almost died the only thing that kept me awake was him crying and i was worried about him.. i felt myself going in and out.. and i remember how slow my heart rate was.. it was the most scariest but at the same time relaxing feeling you can ever feel.. thank god i pulled through.. my husband had to leave 8 days later to go to training.. i bought him a car so that he could get around.. i bought him new clothes so that he could fit in with eve3ryone cuz he didnt bring clothes with him thinking he would be working all the time.. i would buy him food for his room.. everything he needed i got him.. his training for school was 2 states away... i would put all the kids in the car and drive 3 hours there and back just to bring him these things at lease once a week.. i bought him a new phone.. then all of a sudded he started telling me to stop coming.. his schedule started getting busyier.. and i would only hear from him once a day.. the day the baby was exactly 3 months old i fugured i would check the phone records cuz something didnt seem right.. and come to find out he was cheating on me again but this time it was with 4 different girls.. he didnt tell a few of them about me.. another he told that i was cheating on him.. and the other he told that we werent together.. and i just still bother him.. he told them he had no kids, or that he only has one.. and just other different thing.. it was so crazy to me.. when i found these numbers on the call log and seen how we would get off the phone and he would jump right on the phone with one of them.. all of them knew eachother but didnt know about eachother.. i call every single one of them from the call log and they told me everything.. sure enough i took him back a month later and left home from my family to move with him to another state where the military put us.. its been a year now since he cheated last as i know of.. his attitude didnt improve any.. we did start marriage cousoling but i dont believe it is working.. i try to stay strong for mmy kids.. but i dont think i want to be with him anymore i love him but not in love with him cuz the past things, and his attitude is the worst.. he is a very negitive person.. but i dont think i want to be here anymore i just want to be happy..and i dont want to be hurt again.. i think i want a devorce but i dont know.. i love him. and i dont want this i just want to be happy with him and thats it.. someone please give me advice..
View related questions:
got back together, grandmother, military, want to be happy Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni can say i wish i ws stronger.. its crazy because i grew up with 9 brothers and i was always a tomboy..lol.. my father is a grand master in martial arts and my brothers and i been doing it since we were all 4 yrs old..i been doing it for 23 yrs and i am a 7 time world champion in fighting... u would think i would be alot stronger and would whip his a$$ already... god for bid.. but if it was to happen again, im gonna have to bring my real side out that he never seen.. OMG.. i would become the biggest"B" that he could ever imagine.. child support sucks with 4 kids.. on top of alamony.. but i think i would send all of my brothers after him first.. lol.. and when it comes down to the female.. or females... i will get at them one way or another.. or just karma will.. :) i know that i am the best he will ever get no matter what.. im good hearted, i am very independent, and i am a great wife and mother.. and if he doesnt see that soon then im gonna have to just worry about my kids and myself.. i thank you guys so much for your replies.. please excuse me that i havent wrote on your pages.. i believe i can not give advice if i dont know how to take my own.. but once i start getting things straight, and feeling confident i deffinatly will.. i can say though i been taking alot of ur guys advice, other then leaving i just been very strong and sturn.. and i told him im gonna go to the court house.. and lately he been treating me and the kids really good.. i even got breakfast in bed this morning.. that was surprizing but a good feeling.. he havent did that in yrs. imma stay strong and hopefully he will straighten up.. if not.... GOODBYE!!
A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (5 August 2010):
 Exactly, u arent the typical stereotype military wife. Remember that! And once u start to feel good about urself inside then the outside will too. Build that self esteem back up bc ur still a strong woman through all this...most wouldve crumbled under pressure. Now keep that foot down and he needs to know u mean business this is his last straw.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank u guys so much for ur advice.. i do deservve better.. never did i ever cheat and never thought about it.. i know that i can do alot better in my life with my kids. but there is just that love from the past that is keeping me here. he use to be the best man anyone can have.. i flat out told him so many times since he did what he did last year, that i will deffinatly leave him.. my self esteme got knocked down real bad and i am not as confident as i ust to be and i may not have the body that i use to but i have a good heart and i tell him that someone will appriciate that one day if he doesnt.. but i do love him and we are trying to work through this all but at lease he knows now there is no more chances.. thanks for the advice guys.. stay in touch.. :)
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank u guys so much for ur advice.. i do deservve better.. never did i ever cheat and never thought about it.. i know that i can do alot better in my life with my kids. but there is just that love from the past that is keeping me here. he use to be the best man anyone can have.. i flat out told him so many times since he did what he did last year, that i will deffinatly leave him.. my self esteme got knocked down real bad and i am not as confident as i ust to be and i may not have the body that i use to but i have a good heart and i tell him that someone will appriciate that one day if he doesnt.. but i do love him and we are trying to work through this all but at lease he knows now there is no more chances.. thanks for the advice guys.. stay in touch.. :)
...............................
A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (5 August 2010):
Starts with a D and the suffix rhymes with horse. How many times are you going to take this poor excuse for a man back? I agree being a military wife is hard I know Im one, but honey it doesnt have to be that hard. Ur in love with your hs sweetheart not the lack of a man he's turned into..U gave him ur all as a wife and mother of your children, u took it upon urself to take care of ur family when ur luck was down, u gave him the tools he needed for a career..Take a moment to realize u are quite an extraordinary women for all that u have done. The only thing i dont applaud u on is u taking him back all the times when clearly he is not worthy of u and no better than that nasty piece of chewed up gum on the sidewalk. From a fellow military wife to another, drop the piece of crap bc u deserve a much better husband.
...............................
A
female
reader, Unsure07 +, writes (3 August 2010):
I'm in somewhat of the same situation minus the children. Once a man cheats and he knows that you're not going anywhere he has an advantage. There are so many levels of disrespect that occur when someone cheats. Like..when you were pregnant what if he gave you an std or even got another woman pregnant. It hurts even worse when you've been faithful all along. From the sounds of it, I'm unsure that he's even in love with you.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2010): Well I think that you can do better than him get a devorce and let him have joint costody with the kids only with child support. You were happy once in your life, you deserve to be happy again. I personally believe that he will cheet on you again. I hope every thing turns out for you and your family.
...............................
|
