A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:do girls like anal sex, Ive been after my wife for 7 years and she just won't give it too me. I feel like thats not fair, Ive had other relationships where my partner enjoyed it sooooooooo much. how do i get my wife to try something new, we've talked about it and thats only upset her, she won't even let me close to it, just wondering if anyone has any advice,thankx for your time.............
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male
reader, PlayingPossum  +, writes (21 October 2015):
Your wife has (presumably)asked for monogamy from you. You have forsaken all others and even the opportunity to be with others. This means she has agreed to shoulder the full burden of your sexuality. That's not something she should take so lightly. If a man or woman in a monogamous relationship makes a reasonable sexual request, ie...it's legal, nobody will get hurt, and it is something they really want, the other partner denies them at their own peril. It's not reasonable for her to deny you blow jobs, anal, or whatever any more than it is for you to say no to eating pussy,or cuddling or whatever he tastes are. And if you were denying her something like cunnilingus, she'd have every right to be frustrated. You have the same right to be frustrated. As monogamous partners, we give our SO's no other outlet for their sexuality and saying no should come with a good reason, not "it's mildly uncomfortable and isn't my favorite thing to do."
A
male
reader, turdbg  +, writes (28 January 2011):
When i first met my wife she doesn't like anal at all. She had some troubles with her anus- often had trouble taking number two-pain and even blood. So she was hard as rock- no anal sex. It turned out her problem to be connected with her way of life- food, drinks, sports etc. When she changed those factors her rectum became calm. Then i tried my affords again. I began fingering, then some tiny anal toys. It took me 1 year to make it comfortable for her to have the first true anal sex. Lots of pleasures, lots of lubricants, lots of sexual arouse. I must say- she loves sex. Even kinky one. I do not know if your wife enjoys sex, but mine do and may be this is the major reason for her started enjoying anal. Now she always wants it in her back door and even sometimes we do not do vaginal or oral- straight to the anal sex. So here are my advises to you: 1)ask her for some health issue; 2)understand how open minded and sex-enjoying is your wife; 3)if she is- then asked her what bothers her about anal (my wife was afraid of my penis got dirty from feces and that i would hate her for that:) )4)start anal stimulation gently, with a tiny tool or finger, use A LOT of lubricants,do that while you do something other that you know turns her on 5)Well she might not like it- so accept it. There are billions of people with their own tastes.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2010): You should try it yourself and see how it feels like. Anus isn't like genitals, men and women have *equal* amounts of nerve endings in there. PLUS, I've heard that it's better for guys because they have there own G-spot/prostrate INSIDE their anus, unlike women's G-spot which is still sort of a myth, as in some women have it many don't. So yeah, try it yourself and see how it actually feels. For a woman, anal has MORE to do with mental pleasure than physical pleasure. It's taboo and dirty, which is why some women like it and get off on it. With women, mental pleasure can be a huge and powerful experience. Different women like different things, it won't be enjoyable to her if you force her to do something she doesn't find pleasurable mentally OR physically.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2010): i do it not often and cant complain i think guys get more off on it then women do but overall it all depends on the person.
as a woman my man has never begged me for it it was my choice you should not be pressuring her into something she doesnt want to do. all this time and she says flat out no then stop pressing it its not like she said maybe. dont ruin your marriage on something you find unfair your in a relationship try and understand your partner and deal with it instead of getting upset. be happy your even getting any, stop trying to force anal.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (11 February 2010):
She doesn't want to do it, so that's it. Fairness has nothing to do with this. Is it fair that she should be forced to do something she doesn't' want to?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2010): Not wishing to be crude but have you got any idea what it feels like yourself? Perhaps you could give it a try, with a vibrator or something. I think you will find that it s not overly comfortable. I would suggest you try some self-experimentation before you go on at your wife about it again; then you might have a better idea about why she has some hesitance on the matter.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2010): Stop for a moment and re-read what you have written - it is all about you and your pleasures.
Not all women like anal sex, and if your wife doesnt - well so be it and stop comparing her to your ex's.... If you ex's were so great you would have married one of them...
So for once, consider your wife and think how you are making her feel.... by pressurising her will not make her want to try anything new, as it sounds like you have already expressed your displeasure with her at not wanting to do what you want to do.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2010): Seriously, try it for yourself once and you will understand your wife's point of view better. It is extremely painful and humiliating. God gave women wonderful vagina's to please men.
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A
female
reader, puds123  +, writes (11 February 2010):
Your the only one being unfair not ur wife, if your other ex's were so wonderful how come your still not with them. I suggest you stop nagging your wife to do something she doesnt want and do something nice for her
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2010): How old are you? You sound like you are throwing you toys out the pram because you can not get what you want.
Just because you have other partners what enjoyed it does not mean you wife will.
Do you really want your wife to do things she doesn't want to in bed? How much pleasure would that give you? Concentrate on the things you both enjoy in bed.
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A
female
reader, Angzw  +, writes (11 February 2010):
If your exes were so wonderful and gave you everything you wanted then why are you no longer with them? If she doesn't like it then don't keep nagging her about it. She will only resent you and be put off other stuff too. Or maybe ask her to do your ass with a dildo first then maybe she might reconsider you doing hers. Otherwise let it go.
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A
male
reader, Beingblack +, writes (11 February 2010):
 It's not fair !! It's not fair !!
You're right. It's not fair that you won't stop nagging her!!
If she doesn't want to do it, why are you trying to break her down to give in? Her reasons for saying no are valid to her. So respect them.
Your ex partner loved it, you feel good doing it, but unfortunately, your wife is not her. And why are you comparing your ex to your wife? Jeez, that must make your wife feel good. I thought sex was meant to be mutually enjoyable, not great for one, and full of anxiety and discomfort for the other. I think by now that she knows you want to do it. If and when she feels ready she might give it a go. She might not. But right now, I bet she feels that EVERY time you go near her, all you want is to try anal sex. The constant whining from you will probably make her feel like doing it even less.
Man up. Show your wife some real love and respect, and in time she might allow herself to try.
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A
male
reader, Illithid +, writes (11 February 2010):
 Most women DON'T like anal sex. In fact, from every study I've ever seen, the majority experience pain during anal sex. You've dated some women that liked it, but it's very hurtful to suggest that there's something wrong with your wife for not being interested. That's just not something she's interested in and that's just who she is. Picture for a moment if your wife spent eight years telling you that all her previous boyfriends were better at sex, more adventurous, more exciting than you and she feels cheated that you're so boring in bed. How would you feel about yourself after years of that?
Barring that, I can bet there are things you aren't interested in. What if your wife had a huge kink for strap-ons and pegging her old boyfriends? Would you do it? What if she were into scat? Would you share that with her?
Please, remember all the reasons you married her, all the reasons you love her, all the things in bed that you DO share, and focus on the good. No couple matches up 100% sexually, and this looks like it's a sacrifice you're going to have to make. I'll bet she's made some sacrifices for you in the last 7 years, too.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2010): I used to do it for my ex as well and said I enjoyed it. I didn't though, it was uncomfortable and I would just be hoping he would finish soon. I did it because he liked it so much. Now I'm with my fiance I don't have to do that; he just wants me to be comfortable and enjoy myself, and for my part I have grown up and have realised that I don't have to do things I don't enjoy just to please someone else when there are so many other possibilities of things we can do. I think if your wife doesn't want to do you shouldn't keep pestering her. If someone had pestered me about it for so long I would give them short shrift. And just because your exes did it, doesn't mean she should. Incidentally I hope you don't tell her about how great your exes were at this, because only a selfish, immature jerk would do that, and I'm sure you're not like that are you? If she wants to do it she will, but you can't and shouldn't force her. Surely it's not the be all and end all. If you want to try something new then why don't you try something that you can both enjoy, as opposed to something that you want and she definitely doesn't.
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