A
female
age
51-59,
*atheriner
writes:Ok, I did it. I ended my relationship. My second husband’s relationship with my little boy was awful. My little boy is 9 years old and he needs anxiety counselling because of all the chaos in his life. I have to say, although I love my Husband, it got to the point where my little boy would hate me if I gave this relationship another go. My Husband was trying in other ways and when we were alone we had fun times too, but I know I had no choice for my little boy’s sake. He has professed over the last few days he can’t be without me, and he now knows what he needs to do to be a good step parent, but I gave him many chances before. My heart wants to say I don’t want to lose you, as awful as it’s been at times, but my head sees my little boy’s face if I had to tell him we were trying again. He suggested staying away from the kids, and spending time with me when they aren’t around, but is that a marriage?He had lots of problems that caused chaos in my life. I know I have no choice, but I hurt very much. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2011): This is shocking. The last thing a child should undergo is torture. Another 6 years after that he can let you be with whom ever you want as he can take care of himself. Please give him more love and less pain.
A
female
reader, katheriner +, writes (7 April 2011):
katheriner is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all for your honest replies I am not considering taking him back my little boy is to precious I was scared thats all needed reassurance the question title was not my choice I would not take him back we all just get scared after makin a big decision. But i have done the worst things can only get better thank you
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (7 April 2011):
 Excuse me ? Your 9 year old boy suffers from anxiety and needs counseling because,or also because, what your husband put him through... and you are thinking of giving him one more chance?...
Your heart says " I don't want to lose you "- even if he has been awful to your child ?....
What can I say. See a cardiologist. There must be something wrong with your heart.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2011): do u want to subject your child to torture again?
what man wants to be with his wife in the absence of her kids?
this man has not changed AT ALL. he is still an abuser and will continue to abuse and torture your little boy. thus far he has put fear in your kid.
surely your role as a mother should take preference.
LoveGirl
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (7 April 2011):
 What he is asking is for you to deviate from your role as a mother. Is he really the right man for you? He cannot even be a step-dad and you have given him so many chances, so many opportunities for him to learn from his mistakes and yet, he has failed.
For you, there are other men out there who can make you happy and who can be a loving step-father for your son. Your son only has one childhood. This whole ordeal is because of your husband's lack of interest in becoming a better father and that has caused you great unhappiness, I assume he knows that, or he sure as hell should. So how much does he REALLY care about you I wonder.
I hope that helps.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2011): Two things:1. If your child is having counselling because of the way he was treated, poor mite, then you need to treat your husband and his professions with GREAT caution. I understand that it's easy to feel isolated and lonely and that adapting to a separation is hard. Particularly at the beginning, it can feel unbearable. But this does not mean that the separation isn't the right thing to do. People don't 'learn' parenting skills in a day after a breakup. This man hasn't really changed, he's just telling you what you want to hear. More seriously, why would you want to be with someone who treated a CHILD like that? Your boy certainly deserves better, but I think that you do also. There are many, many great men out there ready to be wonderful fathers. Why put the apple of your eye in the way of potential harm with this bad one? Anyone who can bully and mistreat a little boy like that is not a good person and is not worth your time. 2. If you go behind your child's back with your husband, he WILL find out, and he will feel betrayed, insecure, and really frightened. Whatever course of action you take MUST bring him fully on board. It's almost like cheating on your love for him, and denying all the pain he has been through.
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