A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I have been dating my partner for 3 months and he has invited me to a friends wedding in 3 weeks time. The problem I have is that 2 weeks ago I broke my leg in a cycling accident.I feel so embarrassed, My whole leg is in a cast and it's been absolute hell. My partner has been very supportive. He stayed with me at the hospital when I had surgery and is seeing me every other day to bring food and make sure I am ok. I am in a lot of pain but he still wants me to go with him to the wedding. I feel so down, there is no way I will be able to walk on crutches for the whole day, just standing too long makes me feel sick and I can't put any weight on my broken leg for the time being. He has suggested a wheelchair for the day but I think it will just be too embarrassing to meet his friends whilst I am so incapacitated and I am scared that everyone will stare at me. I know I am being a too sensitive over this, I feel upset all the time and just want to stay home until I am better. He is trying his best to be upbeat about the whole thing and has booked a hotel room on the night of the wedding, incase I need to have a rest.I really don't want to go but I don't know how to tell him. I don't want to hurt his feelings but I am still in shock over having the accident and haven't quite come to terms with my injury yet.What am I going to do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2011): This is very interesting. OP, here is a link to a recent post from a woman asking for advice. In this situation the boyfriend broke his leg and, understandably, doesn't feel like going to a friend's birthday party while she does.
In this post not only does no one criticize the boyfriend for not wanting to go, but they go on to suggest (very nicely) that unless she stays home to tend him she is the one being selfish. If her boyfriend is justified in staying in after breaking his leg (which I think he is), surely you are also entitled to stay home, free of judgment, after breaking yours.
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/my-boyfriend-has-broken-his-leg-ive-been.html
OP, if you don't think you're up to going to this wedding, then don't go. You're not letting anyone down. You're not being selfish. You have a valid reason for not going. And as doting and great as your boyfriend has been, I think he is being a bit pushy about trying to convince you to attend.
There is no special way to tell him besides 'I'm not going as I'm really not up to it.' Giving him a detailed explanation of why you don't want to go is only giving him more ammunition to try and change your mind. Talking is negotiating so keep the conversation short.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2011): This is a very poor excuse if your leg was not broken it would be something else
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2011): That's nice of him, booking a room and offering to get a wheelchair. A wedding is a cheerful affair usually and it might be just what you need to take your mind off things. How about you suggest to your boyfriend that you go for some of it and see how it goes, and then go to the hotel room if it gets too much. I've a feeling you'll enjoy yourself though.
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A
female
reader, foxy7727  +, writes (19 June 2011):
 I'm still recovering from breaking my leg my ankel and taring all my ligaments. I had surgery 6 weeks ago and I'm now walking with troubles of course and against dr. Orders but healing fine and everythings good. I'm not saying risk messing up ur broken leg again go against dr. Orders and do what I did but I also didn't let my pain or jiant boot and crutchest hold me back from trying to go out and do what my friends or loved ones did everyday. I would get so frusteradted somtimes but I think you should try to go to the wedding. Yes some people may stare and you ll prob have to take some of your pain med. But sounds like you need to go out. And this sounds important to your man. If you get tiered or ur leg starts to really hurt go back to the hotel. I think it will end up being fun for the both of you. Plus you'll get lots of attention cause people will wonder why you broke your leg and you have a cool story like riding a bike. I was walking when I slipped and broke mine it just made people laugh which I laghed with them but if you take your meds I don't think you'll b in to much pain. Goodluck!
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (19 June 2011):
 I've had a broken leg and surgery.. and the pain is horrid but it will stop and soon. i spent 6 months in a wheelchair (it was a horrendous break for me)
wait to see if you are not in pain, rent a wheelchair and GO.
no one will stare, broken limbs happen every day....
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A
male
reader, freeme +, writes (19 June 2011):
 I am not accusing you of this, but I do think you should ask yourself the question; Would you be nervous to meet his friends if your leg wasn't broken? If you think you would be, could the leg be a convenient scapegoat? This is just a thought of course. If you find this to be the case, then perhaps you should go.
I understand your desire to stay off the crutches. I think it won't be as bad as you suspect it will be. You will be getting around much better on the crutches in 3 weeks, and then you are going to feel guilty for not going.
Good luck, and quick healing to you.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (19 June 2011):
 I would not go, but not for the reasons you mention, which, sorry, I have a hard time to relate to.
Why should people stare at you ?? You just broke your leg !, you are not under investigation for murder or child abuse. And why would they stare at a wheelchair ,it's a common object, - it's not a spaceship, or the royal coach.
And you can still wear your prettiest outfit and have fabolous hair and make up, and still look glamorous sitting in a wheelchair.
But, you are in a lot of pain, you would not have fun. Other people would dance and you could not. You could not stand up and put weight on your leg, and sitting all day long is uncomfortable and gives you a backache and cramps if you aren't used. You could not move independently , and if you had to go to the toilet I suppose you'd have to be accompanied and it would be a complicated manoeuvre .
So, it's reasonable - and prudent- that you stay at home until you feel better.
Then again, the wedding is 3 weeks from now, and in 3 weeks you could have improved a lot and feel much better.
Do you really need to decide right now ? Perhaps is better to see how you feel in about two weeks and then decide.
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A
male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify +, writes (19 June 2011):
 tell him how you feel and that you would not be comfortable meeting people for the first time in this state. yes he is being supportive but i feel he is convincing you to go even though your legs still sounds very weak (not safe to stand on) because he wont be happy being there alone. the reality is that this accident has dented your confidence and i can understand completely.
i had bells pallsy about a year ago and it really made me feel shit, even though it was not as serious as a broken leg there is no way i would have gone to any event where people are going to dress glamorous and meet for the first time.
do what suits you, if he loves you he will accept this. he needs to get over his fear of judgement and appreciate that you want your leg to heal properly.
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