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female
age
26-29,
*olly9945
writes:Hello!I just wanted to know if anyone has had these feelings before, and why you have them and how you've dealt with them/got rid of them.Recently I have been wanting to get pregnant, but before I go any further I am going to assure you I am not trying to nor will I ever try to!Anyways I just want to be pregnant, I don't want to give birth to a baby, or raise a baby, or be near a baby. I can't stand small children! I just desire the feeling of being pregnant, and I'm not sure why, but I think one reason is that I would like a different kind of attention from my boyfriend, or even my friends, but I'm not 100% sure :P Either way I'm getting kinda depressed about itSo like I said before has anyone else felt this way specifically? And how would I deal with this before it becomes to depressing not to have the pregnancy feeling/experience? Thank you!
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2011): Have you ever seen Teen Mom? It shows the reality of being a young mother. You would lose slot of freedom! When I watch that show I dint feel ready and I'm almost 25.
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female
reader, Molly9945 +, writes (15 October 2011):
Molly9945 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks Cindy :) I'll look into those if it gets worse. Until then I'll try and find things to distract me from all of this!
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (15 October 2011):
 Yes, hopefully it 's not a "real " full blown depression, and your cravings will die down on their own... I guess you just need to shake up things a bit, to make your life more " intense ", if you get what I mean, and I am sure you'll find a way to do that -without getting pregnant.
In the meantime, if you can't afford therapy ( but do check with your local hospital, they may have referrals for mental health professional or clinics offering pro-bono services or at least sliding scale fees ) a sensible , helpful option is contacting Befrienders ,( check their page on the web ) they have free on line and phone crisis counseling services , given by volunteers that are not medical doctors ( and they won't even TRY to give you medical counsel ) but are very thouroughly trained for active listening and crisis support.
Or, call The Samaritans hotline- they are good at listening to any kind of weird stuff without ever judging.
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reader, Molly9945 +, writes (15 October 2011):
Molly9945 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI can't afford therapy unfortunately, that's why I said that earlier.
Thank you for your answer, I agree with what you say. My depression is not everything you described, but very similar, and it's only been going on for a couple weeks, so I'll see how long this lasts.
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reader, CindyCares +, writes (15 October 2011):
If you find yourself ,for WHATEVER reason, not just somewhat blue or somewhat down, but incurring in severe bouts of depression ( cryng spells, insomnia, loss of appetite etc. for at least 6 weeks ) then sorry, but the only correct way to go about it , and the only thing that may help, is seeing your doctor and/or been referred to a specialist.
It's up to you to evaluate how severe is your " craving " and how much is impacting the quality of your life.
Considering your age and what you wrote about yourself in your follow ups , though, I think... not as terribly as it seems to you right now . The attention thing is just a guess, but it sounds like a very possible guess.Not only, probably living such a socially limited life has led you to stifle/loose touch with your true emotions and passions, and a pregnancy ( you think ! ) would make you FEEL more ,in a way .
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2011): Defiently hormones. I can relate as 5 of my coworkers got pregnant around the same time . And they got a ridiculious amount of attention. But I wouldn't want a screaming baby that needs constant attention ALL the time.
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reader, Molly9945 +, writes (14 October 2011):
Molly9945 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI'm going to say this one last time. The attention thing was a guess! And anon, did you not read that imam not trying to get pregnant, I just want to get rid of these feelings? I'm sorry if I sound rude, but what you said sounded rude to me :P
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reader, Honeypie +, writes (14 October 2011):
 It does sound like your hormones is running a little crazy. Not everyone even have a nice pregnacy lol It's CERTAINLY not glamrous or wonderful the whole 9 months. Trust me, I have been there 3 times .
Is it the attention maybe? that you are seeking?
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reader, Molly9945 +, writes (14 October 2011):
Molly9945 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAlso to Redathena after I turned 8 my mom started taking drugs and I took care of her more or less. I raised myself and still do. I also know I am not ready, nor will I ever be ready, to tale care of a child, and that is why I'm never having one, and as stated I am NOT trying to get pregnant, I just want the experiance of a baby kicking inside me, the certain different attention a pregnant woman gets(negative and positive) the nausea, the cramps, doctors visits, everything! And I want that feeling to go away
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reader, Molly9945 +, writes (14 October 2011):
Molly9945 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAgain I'm not trying to get pregnant, and I HATE children. As soon as I turn 18 I'm getting surgery to prevent pregnancy(the name slips me and yes I know it has serious risks, but I know as a mother at any age I would probably end up abusive as a mother) and the wanting of attention is my guess, in truth I am very anti-social and only have one friend who I rarely talk to and my boyfriend who is the only person I hang out with, maybe there are other reasons I want this. I apologize for not being clear enough.Anyways I don't just want the pleasant, I want the bad too. Yes all those things you mentioned about the nausea, saggy breasts, all that I want too. I know it's not all good, nor all bad. But that's not what I asking, I said in my post this was making me depressed, and I should have stressed that it is not a minor sadness, it really hits me sometimes and makes me cry. So how can I get over that feeling? And please don't tell me therapists or my parents, they are not plausible options.Also anonymouse 123 I know these feelings are irrational, but im not sure how to get rid of them, I can't really control this wanting like a person can't help craving a certain food. I don't have to give into it, but I want it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2011): do you hear yourself when you say this stuff? you want to be pregnant but don't want to give birth to a baby or raise a baby? i'm sorry but that sounds messed up.there's more to it than just being pregnant.once pregnant whether you like it or not there is a baby to think about.your whole life changes the minute you find out you're pregnant.you should never consider getting pregnant just to get attention.babies are a miracle.do you realize how many women want kids but can't have them?you really think they want them just so they can get attention?you aren't ready to even consider being pregnant and have a lot of growing up to do still.you need to consider other ways to seek attention.
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reader, RedAthena +, writes (14 October 2011):
 I would say it is one of two things. Hormones or you really want the attention.
If you get pregnant you would be doing a lot of damage to your child's life. They would be unwanted and neglected.
I think you would be cured by spending some time with someone who has a infant. You would see how hard it is and unprepared you are.
As the Mother of two myself, I can tell you that once the attention over pregnancy and having a new baby goes away. People stop coming around, people stop ooohing and ahhing, and then you have a toddler who is demanding and depends on YOU to have your life together and be willing to sacrifice yourself for their needs. Obviously, you are not ready for that.
If you are craving attention, then I would suggest you need to work on your self esteem that has NOTHING to do with getting attention from others. Is it that you want to be pampered, provided for, cared for or "mothered" yourself?
Did you have these things growing up? Do you feel neglected from your bf or family?
A baby is NOT the answer to your need.
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reader, Anonymous 123 +, writes (14 October 2011):
 You've either been watching sitcoms or movies that have "happy pregnancies", where the dad-to-be fusses over his partner and everyone is always in a happy-happy, baby showery mood, or you've seen pregnant women who are treated special by their partners and families and you want that.
Honey, that's just the outer cover. Sure it makes a pretty picture to see a happy pregnant lady and a smiling bf/husband on her side, but that's not what its all about. CindyCares and So_Very_Confused have explained it very well. Pregnancy isnt as hunky dory, fun, amusing as you think it is. The attention part is just a minuscule amount, what about the practical difficulties? And the end result? A baby whom you have to care for and provide for, for God alone knows how many years.
Look, pregnancy isnt about being a good thing or a bad thing. Its a process that happens when you choose for it to happen (ideally!!) and when you know what you're getting into. Don't feel low about this. Think rationally about what you're getting depressed for. Does it even make sense? To top it all, you don't even want a baby or even be near one! You're being irrational dont you think?
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reader, chigirl  +, writes (14 October 2011):
 It's hormones. It will pass. Sorry if that's too simple an answer for now, but there really isn't much else to be said about it. Teenage girls have hormones that drives them into wanting pregnancy and babies (no one wants a screaming toddler, they all want babies), and teenage boys are driven by hormones to try and have sex whenever and with whomever.
The feeling and intensity of this will pass as you get older. Your body is just going through a bit of an hormonal overload at the time.
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reader, CindyCares +, writes (14 October 2011):
Let me assure that " the feeling of being pregnant " , except for a few lucky ones, is nothing blissful or thrilling, in fact it's a series of physical sensations that go from mildly unpleasant to sheer torture- and you only pull through by keeping your focus strongly on the joyful end result, i.e. the baby .
I don't want to scare you unnecessarily, and , when it will be your time, you 'll make it through pregnancy bravely, positively and, all in all, happily ,like millions of women before you. But, before that times come, shed your illusions about the "feeling of being pregnant " and realize that it can include violent nausea , insomnia, fatigue, constipation, bone aches, swollen feet, and a list of other complaints as long as your arm.
Like you said, you sort of want to feel "special ", and fussed about a bit. At your age it's a very common desire, and there are other ways to cope with it. Maybe just talk to your mom ( moms , surprisingly ,have been teenagers themselves and can remember what it was like ), or talk to a counselor/psychologist. Or maybe you could take a dance, singing, or drama class- something that puts you in the spotlight in a more constructive way. Or, even better, work hard at getting amazing school grades - you'd be killing two birds with a stone this way :)
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reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (14 October 2011):
 Why do you think you want to be pregnant..
do you want to have to pee every 5 minutes around the clock? or wet the bed (yes I wet the bed once when pregnant)
do you want hemorrhoids that never go away?
do you want your inner thighs and vaginal lips to be permanently discolored (yes that happens too)
do you want your breasts to hurt and sag and leak onto your shirt and bra and leave wet circles on your shirt for all to see?
what about the constant nausea and heartburn and all the things you can't eat or do while pregnant? you want all that too?
tell me again why you want to be pregnant.
IF you want more attention from family and friends, you need to figure out what you want and need. Maybe you need to see a counselor to figure out why you think a pregnancy is the answer to the attention you seek.
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