A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey I'm 17 years old and I'm a junior in high school. I have never kissed a girl nor have I had a girlfriend. I have no self confidence in myself even though girls tell me I'm cute. I am puerto rican and have guido spiky hair and am 5' 8''. Most of my friends are girls and I have no problem talking to guys or girls. The problem is I am "that" guy to talk to about their relationship problems. If there crying about how much thier boyfriend Is an ass I'm the guy they run too to make them feel better. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. It makes me sick to see all my friends talking about their girlfriends and what they did this weekend while I was home trying to tell my friend that their boyfriend is fine and they'll be ok. I hate myself and never think I'm good enough for anyone. All I want to do is find a pretty girl who I like and likes me back. I don't wanna leave HS without having a gf And having never kissed a girl. Please help me im lost I've been having suicidal thoughts and don't know what to do.. Please help..
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female
reader, Silence and Sorrow +, writes (22 January 2010):
 It's never a fact until you have asked her and been rejected to your face.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionBut how do I deal with rejection because I kno it is goin to happen the girl who I like is cute and not one of the top girls but I kno she wood never be with me it's just a fact
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A
female
reader, heather108 +, writes (21 January 2010):
 You're spending too much time and energy thinking,,, MAKE A MOVE... ;~)
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI have another question do u think looks are the first thing a girl looks at like I look exactly like pauly d from jersey shore so do u think my looks are good enough to approach a girl and secondly about the pretty girl thing it's not pretty as in the top girls in the school burn I want someone who is cute
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female
reader, heather108 +, writes (21 January 2010):
Dude, I know I'm coming at this from the wrong side of the gender gap, but let me give it an analytical shot.
- First of all, the spiky hair thingy,,, crop it off a little shorter because girls like to be the show.
- Next, I'm thinking about your "All I want to do is find a pretty girl" line and that could be a problem. The "pretty girls" get way too much attention in high school so that might not be your best targets of opportunity,.,, try for cute and a little shorter than 5' 8" and there are probably at least dozen sophmore and junior girls that would be more than willing to get to know you better.
- Also, about the girls that come to you crying and need someone to talk to, man you already have the rail position in this dog race, just use it.
- When you're talking to a girl that you judge to have possibilities, don't sit beside her, stand in front of her, put a hand on her arm or shoulder, if she moves closer, take her by the hand. If she pulls her hand away then it's just a conversation that's not going anywhere but if she squeezes your hand she's trying to tell you something. Put your arm around her and close the gap between you. If she makes no move to keep her distance then give her a gentle hug. If she leans her head in against you, like on your shoulder or on your chest, then kiss her, cheek, forehead, top of her head, whatever is in reach, makes no difference.
The rest is up to you to ask her to go out with you to do something, even if it's just to the mall on Saturday morning to buy a pair of socks.
Whe she takes you up on doing anything that you go to together, you are then into a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship and you have to lead the way.
It's easier than you think but you will always have to make the first moves, starting with "I'd really like to get to know you better"
Good luck, and I'll be expecting progress reports from you about this because I've just made you an insider on things Cosmo has not yet covered... ;~)
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWow thank you all for the advice it's great the thing I don't understad too is that for me appereance is everything. I have like 70 different shoes and have a wardrobe the size of car like I have the look but what am I missing?
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2010): if it makes you feel any better i'm almost 20 and still haven't been kissed.... been in three relationships that were complete shit, but have yet to be kissed.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2010): i really wouldn't worry if i were you, it's great that girls trust you as this mean that you will find it easy to forge a rel'ship when the time is right but that doesn't have to be now! why don't you go to more big drunken parties- that's where i've had most kisses, and this is good as it doesn't have to mean anything at all and it therefore doesn't matter if you don't have much confidence or anything! good luck and like people say, girls love confidence! :D
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female
reader, MisFit24  +, writes (20 January 2010):
 Dear anonymous! I completly understand where you come from.When I was 16-17 I was in the same position as you are.Most of my friends were boys and I was like a mate to them.They liked some girl from school and they came to me for advice like should i tell her or she is so pretty etc.I started to feel that I never be that pretty girl for boys and I will always stay "the mate".In that age we all want to fit in somewhere,feel loved and wanted,be popular.Please bury down your suicidal thoughts,you are only 17!Some people get kissed at 21-22,good things come to those who wait,believe me as an example,you will find that girl and you will get kissed in no time:)The best way is to tell these girls how you feel and as friends they know you well so you can ask an advice from them,the same way they come to you.This should boost your confidence and you should start feeling better about yourself.All the best and goodd luck!You can always write me if you have any problems:)
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male
reader, Phsyciatrist-to-be +, writes (20 January 2010):
 Well, I'm 17, and I just moved on to higher education. And I'm in the exact same position: never had a girlfriend, never kissed or been kissed, never known what it's like to have that "closeness" with someone you really like.And I agree: it really sucks.What you have to remember and keep in mind is actually what you've almost definately been told before: "Don't worry, the right person will come along eventually." Now I wouldn't blame you if you stopped reading this answer right now: I too, get sick to the back teeth of people telling me that.But it's still true.Another thing I suggest is that YOU start the advance here. I got fed up of waiting too, and asked someone out a few months back.The fact that I was turned down, however, whilst making me feel crap and embarrassed for a few days, did not effect me as much as I was afraid it would: because I actually felt that I'd made progress. I'd plucked up the courage to talk to her, and let her know how I felt about her.It still sucked, being turned down: don't get me wrong. Try to avoid it, if you possibly can. But if it happens, then it happens, and you either persist (if you think you still have a shot) or you move on.So, my advice to you, is for YOU to take action. If you're having suicidal thoughts (another thing to avoid) then it's time to stop waiting around, and find someone for yourself.Good luck! And if it turns out bad, don't give up: roll with it, and move on!All the best!
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male
reader, JJSMITH +, writes (20 January 2010):
Listen dude, take this advice from me, the first thing to get a girl is simple. First you need swagger. Walk with a hell of alotta confidence, shoulders back, don't ever walk fast, thats kind of a geeky thing, walk slow and smooth, like u can do whatever you want, also if you see a pretty single girl walk by, dont be afraid to give her a little smile and keep going. The next thing is, find a girl you might be interested in, the girl that to start, looks like your type. Now after that, your gonna want to get to know her, remember, CONFIDENCE IS KEY, the only way girls will like you is if you show them your confident, and willing to do anything, So, girls love to talk about themselves, its just common nature, so when you think you've found that right girl, go up, introduce yourself if she doesn't know you already, and ask her some questions, in a good order like, "so whats up", let her explain herself and seem very interested, be like "wow thats cool" if it sounds like something likes what shes talking about. Now remember, she might ask you some questions as well, after shes done talking she might be like, " so how bout you?" REMEMBER, don't just give a one word answer, but don't tell her a story, your going to wanna say something interesting and funny, ALSO REMEMBER all girls LOVE funny guys, even if its a little sexy, whatever you can do to get her to laugh, as long as your not being a cluts, like dropping your books, then thats a good sign shes interested, so if she asks that, you could say, " well I just saw this beautiful woman over here, and wanted to get to know a little more" after that smile a little and that phrase is a gauruntee that she will laugh. Now from there on your going to need to continue the conversation yourself keep it flowing, try not to make anything awkward. When you feel its been enough talking and its time to go, just make it simple like, "well its very nice to meet you (her name), we should talk again sometime" Now I realize this is long but what I'm telling you is key to a girlfriend, and more than just kissing. So maybe you see her again, remember don't look like a stalker, make it look like u ran into her and be like, " hey (her name), how have you been?" Thats a key start to show your liking for her. Now this time the conversation does not need to be as long, but again try to make her feel special and keep it going again, and towards the end, if the conversation went well, say something like, "well i gotta get going, we should hang out sometime" Now she will definitely be happy and say "yeaaa we should!" So say this weekend is coming up. So again you run into her, now more comfortable, you can run up and give her a quick hug, and say "(her name)! so I was wondering if you wanna do something this weekend?" She'll will most likely say yes, because at this point she definitely has alot of interest in you. Now here there is no need to get into a conversation, just make it quick and confident, "Okay well I need to go, could i get your number?" It will be a yess, I'm sure. From here give her a quick hug and goodbye and go. Later that night, you need to either text or call her, either way is fine. And just talk again where you might wanna go, ask her if there is anything in peticular she would like to go to. If she says it doesnt matter, your going to have to suggest something cool in your area, for example, the movies or mall. If she agrees on this than your set, so when the night comes meet her where ever it is, make sure your the first one there waiting for her. And do whatever you were planning on doing, Now from here on its up to you, to flirt with her and be nice, comfortable, and FUNNY, dont make anything awkward or quiet. Show her that you really do like her. After the night, if you feel that you had a great time and you knew she had a great time, and you feel the time is right, Call her later the next night and be like " I really had a fun time last night" she will agree too and then be confident and go for the kill, " So i was wondering, do you wanna go out with me (her name)?" If everything felt right the other night, she will say yes, definitely, and now... you have a girlfriend. I just gave you the steps on how to get a girl, now, if you want kissing, well then, she is your gf, take her somewhere again, when your both looking into her eyes and your confident and it feels right go ahead and be the first to kiss, and she will be happy and kiss right back. So from there on your set, and I know this was extremely long but know all of it, and remember CONFIDENCE is KEY. When you get this I want you to send me a message back saying that you got this and tell if you have any questions and how you feel about it. Thanks.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2010): The more you worry about this, the harder it will feel it is to meet a girlfriend. You just have to not focus on it and certainly don't let yourself become depressed about it. The more comfortable you are with yourself the more you will appeal to girls. If you are having suicidal thoughts then you need to overcome that before attempting a relationship. Try to be more relaxed, if you are happy on the inside it shows to others on the outside. You know that one day you will have a girlfriend, for now why not relax and go out and meet new people. Try to meet girls in new places and rather than become friends with them and hang out, ask them on a date. Just somthing simple like going to the cinema or a coffee house. But that will make a girl see you as a prospective boyfriend rather than just a friend.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (20 January 2010):
You're not doing anything wrong. It's not uncommon. You could do to have a bit more confidence in yourself. Girls like a confident guy. The especially like a confident guy who listens like you do.
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A
male
reader, NM1218 +, writes (20 January 2010):
Firstly have you ever asked a girl out before?If not,then that is a reason why you have not had a girlfriend before.Girls are not just going to be your girlfriend automatically,you have to ask her out and initiate a relationship.Many people are in your situation,throughout most of high school,I(now I'm 23)never really clicked with girls,but in my senior year I began to really spend sometime with girls after school,studying etc.I use to feel hopeless also,that I would never enjoy my youth with a beautiful girl and that I was destined by a loser and a loner.So you have to ask some girls out,see what happens.Its good that you do speak with girls,many guys don't even know how to have a normal conversation with girls in the first place!Laslty don't put pressure on yourself by giving a deadline that you must have a girlfriend before graduating high school or your life is over as you know it.Hope my advice helped.
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female
reader, meltedfire13 +, writes (20 January 2010):
the problem probably is that you have no confidence. at least try and act like you do, most girls find confident guys attractive. have you actually tried to get a girlfriend or have you been waiting for them to come to you? i say go after some!
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female
reader, AgonyAnne +, writes (20 January 2010):
Right, WOW okay,I think that maybe there are some girlz out there that "like you" but may be afraid of loosing the friendship you have, Have you ever hit on a girl? What was her response?Work on it, Talk to your guy friends see what they say!Dont go suicidal, Whats the point? Then you'll just die without getting kissed or anything.There's someone out there for everyone!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2010): Not having been kissed yet at 17 is not a problem. Its quite common.
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