A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Ive known my husband for 15 yrs and married for 6. He went to Ohio 2 weeks ago for work. I knew something was different when I talked to him. He came home told me he didnt love me, wanted to be alone, etc. I was in shock it came out of no where. I checked his cell phone - messages erased. I knew something was up. I went online and found out he had gone on Facebook a week ago and created a profile with his picture with a different name. He had one friend which was a 22 yr old from Ohio. I confronted him. He said he did not sleep with her - he just talked to her via email. He said he realized it was stupid. He now wants our relationship back. We are going to counseling tomorrow. Should I stay or leave. Im heart broken and sickened that he would do this to me. It keeps running in my mind. He travels a lot how do I trust him? We have a 2 yr old. I can't believe he was wiling to risk it all for a 22 yr old.
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female
reader, desperate_angel +, writes (29 August 2008):
 i believe and understand that your in a deep heartache right now. most important thing in this situation is try to talk to your husband discuss the problem. Better to give him another chance and forgive him. Dont waste the time you known each other and all those times together. you have a kid from him. your his wife. make him feel that you understand him inspite of what he did. Forgiveness to others help us to have peace of mind.
A
female
reader, abbeymom  +, writes (29 August 2008):
 MIDLIFE!!! Okay don't laugh but yes both men and women face midlife and no that's not an excuse.My parents were married for and have been married for going on 36 years. A few years back after my mom had a heart attack my dad lost his mind. I am being serious. He literally lost it.He met someone online and began having a sort of affair. It started innocently through talking, games rooms that sort of things.Well long story short he put my mother through hell. 2 years of lying and cheating (not physically) because this woman lived far away. He threatened to move out, said he wanted it over. The attention he was getting from this other woman was making him feel good and for some reason he was looking at life and feeling older and missing the younger days without bills, kids or crap or whatever he was feeling. He was willing to give all those years with my mother up. I asked my mother why she stayed with him? Why she fought for him, for their marriage?My mother said because when a dog that you've had most of your life. Your dog, your loyal companion suddenly gets sick you don't put it down unless you absolutely have to. You give it water and hope it drinks. Food and hope it eats. Love and hope it remembers who you are. Medicine and hope it gets better. And as it's threatening to die on you... You forgive it, pick it up and help it find it's way...Okay I thought it was a strange thing for her to say. But I get it. She forgave my father because she had years invested in him. She wasn't about to throw it away on some girl he met online.They are still married and happier than before through forgiveness, letting it go, rebuilding trust and getting to the core of their feelings.It will be hard, but I hope you can find the same.~ Abbeymom
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A
male
reader, Replacement +, writes (29 August 2008):
 I imagine the counseling will help you to clear your mind and explore your emotions on the matter. You don't have to make a decision one way or another yet, give the counseling a go and see how you feel in a few months. He made a stupid mistake but you don't mention past indiscretions or anything so perhaps it was just one stupid mistake, and he won't repeat it again. Only time will tell, so be patient.
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A
female
reader, superrrshawna +, writes (29 August 2008):
 see how counseling goes. it's harder to leave since you have a child and you have been married for so long and your lives are thoroughly entwined.
he says he didn't sleep with the girl. give him 15 years worth of trust and believe him. make it very clear he did something wrong, you have lost trust for him, but you do forgive him and you are willing to let him earn back that trust in time.
good luck. if you need someone to rant with, you know where to find me.
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