A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am a college student in a long term relationship with a beautiful girl... we've been together for around 4 years now. I would like some feedback for a situation that so far I have found unique to me.I have had other girlfriends before her but she is the first that I am sexually attracted to (I had sex with one of my other gfs but it was not very good and I had a hard time getting aroused by her... usually it failed). I also don't like porn... the women in it do not arouse me... I have seen many different types of pornography, and I find it tacky. I'm not a prude or uptight or anything like that, it's just not my thing.Also I don't like any of the models or celebrities or anything, I just am not attracted to those women at all. When I was 13-15 I had pictures of bikini models and stuff on my walls because my friends did but I never really liked them, and my friends have made fun of me endlessly because I am never attracted to these women... They say that I am gay. I know that I am not gay, however. My girlfriend drives me insane, I love having sex with her and spending time with her, I think she is gorgeous and she turns me on without doing anything at all. After 4 years she still drives me wild. I love her more than anything.I know this is unusual for someone my age (young)... I was wondering what everyone thought about it, and if i am alone in this boat? In our culture we are surrounded by images of women, and I feel that I am constantly pressured to like a certain "type" of woman who simply do not do anything for me. It stresses me out to hear my male friends always talking about hot girls, to find that I am always the only one who never finds any of them appealing... it makes me feel like a freak.I would love any advice or feedback. My girlfriend often thinks i am lying when I tell her that I really don't like any of these women (she asks me sometimes, one of those trick questions that some women are famous for). It sometimes causes fights when I try to explain to her that she's the only person I have ever been even remotely interested in sexually... she thinks I lie to make her feel better. I don't know what to do.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2011): There is nothing wrong with that. We are humans, not animals. We aren't controlled only by our hormones or insticts-I doubt whether I have insticts-. We are controlled by ourselves, our brain, our heart. my husband thinks that I'm the only attractive woman. He is the only attractive male on earth, even in space for me. I swear on everything I believe without questioning. I swear on him. But I can't trust him. Cause it seems abnormal. cause he's a male. but you have made me believe. your words fired a light in my head that my husband might be honest. I won't hurt him anymore with my torturing questions.and you! if you believe it, I'm sure your girlfriend will believe it. She's so lucky.
A
female
reader, shivamirage  +, writes (7 June 2011):
There is nothing wrong with you. I am at the age of 31 and I always tried to find a guy who just finds me attractive but noone else. Now I am married and my husband is like that. Unfortunately I had had so many experiences with idiots before him so I can not trust him and we have had problems in this situation for 3 years. He tries to convince me that I am the only one but I can't believe in him. But I can swear on him that he is the only man I find attractive, sexy and whatever. However, I can't believe in him. Today we had a fight about this subject and I Think he will leave me tomorrow. I don't know what to do. But the only thing I know is... you are not abnormal!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2007): your girl is soooooooooooooooo lucky
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2007): Your an angel.
Imust admit
My guy of 10 years is just like u. Its just hard to beleive because of the world we live in thats all. Wish you all the best honey.
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A
male
reader, HeartBreakED +, writes (3 October 2007):
 The US as well as MANY other countries have implanted an image in our heads as to what is "sexy". Beauty truly is in the eye of the beholder. It seems to me that you are able to accept a different idea of beauty and just because your friends think Angelina is the hottest thing under the sun and Scarlett is just amazing, doesn't mean that it is true. There is no fact in beauty. It is merely opinion. Your opinion lies where your opinion lies and that is that. I have to confess that I DO find the American standard for beauty to be right in it's own way but I do not work solely on those standards. I have my own standards for beauty and the women of Maxim and FHM just happen lay between the lines for me. However, so do many other "unconventional" beauties. The point is, you can't let anyone tell you what's hot and what's not except for yourself. You have a girlfriend that you see as beautiful. It works for you and if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
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A
female
reader, candy_kisses 4987 +, writes (3 October 2007):
You dont have a problem, your just a real man.
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A
male
reader, Uncle Trev  +, writes (3 October 2007):
You sound like somebody who has really discovered absolute unconditional love. You see the natural beauty of your girlfriend for what she really is. I must admit I view women the same way you do noting and observing the way in which a woman omits radience being the thing that makes her well and truly beautiful.
Beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder here and you truly find your girlfriend extremely attractive and beautiful. You certainly have no problem whatsoever here in your approach - you are well ahead of all those people who go out on the prowl looking at what the image producers and fashion gurus tell us we should be looking at and finding attractive.
Good on Yer Mate -
We could all learn a lot from reading what you have written.
Trev
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A
female
reader, L.O.S.E.R.  +, writes (2 October 2007):
 One more vote to Serinity's opinion about you;)So glad to know there are guys like that out there somewhere:)))
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A
male
reader, Tommy7 +, writes (2 October 2007):
While you may be unique, you have no problem that needs fixing.
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A
female
reader, Serinity +, writes (2 October 2007):
 I don't think there is anything wrong with you. As a matter of fact, I think I speak for many women when I say it would be nice if there were more men out there like you. You said your girlfriend is beautiful and that you are very attracted to her right? So just because your not a pervert and you only have eyes for your lady doesn't mean your gay. She thinks your just telling her what you think she wants to hear because there aren't many guys out there who only have eyes for one woman, (which I think is very noble) and unfortunately very uncommon. But I would not fault yourself for that, you should be praising yourself for it, and so should she. She's a lucky woman! Best wishes always.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2007): I wish there were a lot more guys like you around!!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2007): I am not a male, but I am totally in agreeance (is that even a word)? with you. I am not at all attracted to famous celebrity men, or model type men, or any typical handsome guys that other women like. I also find men with a lot of money to be annoying & unattractive. I guess some people just listen to thier hearts when it comes to the type of person they are attracted to. My husband is not at all conventionally attractive, but I think he is hot so to each their own. Screw the guys who make fun of you for not liking pamela Anderson. For all you know they're the ones that are gay & that is why they need to "proove" to everyone that they find blonde sluts attractive.
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A
female
reader, stina +, writes (2 October 2007):
 Hi Anonymous,
Your friends sound like jerks (on more levels than just one). Just try to ignore them when they make fun of you or anything like that. If they don't stop, maybe you should find new friends. Seriously, the nerve of some people.
I don't understand why you feel pressured to like people who look a certain way. If it stresses you out to hear your friends talk about it, then you can talk about the girls that you find attractive or change the subject. Or you could say "I don't find her that attractive, she's not my type." There are a ton of different responses...
It sounds like your girlfriend is just really insecure. Perhaps you shold have her read your question so that she understands you're not just trying to cater to her feelings; that you genuinely feel attracted to her. Also, the next time she brings it up, you could try to talk about something else. And when she asks why, just tell her that you don't know what else to say because you've already told her how you feel. (Really, how many times can you say the same thing over and over to someone. She has to work on her issues herself, as well. You can't be the one who changes her self-esteem on your own.)
Sorry I am not of more help, but it seems like you're the only one in the group of people you mentioned who really doesn't have a problem. It seems like the other people have issues that they need to work on - mainly by themselves. You just kind of have to figure out how you'll deal with them since you know your friends and girlfriend best.
Take care.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2007): Anyway, beauty truly is in the eye of the beholder; I personally don't find Brad Pitt attractive... or many other of the mainstream celebrities. The people I have found attractive have caused my friends to shake their heads in wonder at times. So, find attractive who you find attractive... that it's your girlfriend is an absolute bonus!
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (2 October 2007):
 What's the problem?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2007): I think it's good you don't find the typical blonde bimbo attractive, pat youself on the back you don't lust after every pretty girl and you go for specail beauties in your eyes.
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A
male
reader, Dazzerg +, writes (2 October 2007):
 I dont think there is anything wrong with that; speaking personally I dont find models that attractive either due to vacant eyes and often as vacant personalities. I dont think you should feel like a freak for being a little different in your tastes as this is something that is individual to each person.
I'm not sure what to advise as you are obviously totally sincere and this seems to me to have alot to do with your gf's insecurities getting the better of her which is something she has to work on as much as you. All you can do is constantly reassure her and help her overcome them in that way.
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