A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:Have been with my girlfriend for 7 years. She is very pretty, sexy, funny, loving the list goes on. But I know she wants more. I don't want to lose her. Every time she gets tired of dealing with my issues and tries to move on I beg her back making promises I cannot keep. She is very desirable she has no problem in attracting other men. She still turns heads. The main problem is I do love her but I don't want to marry or commit to one woman all the time. She has always been there for me good or bad. She is my best friend. We also have alot of great sex and she is always willing to please me and she does. But I can't help wanting more, other woman. This hurts her I know but she tries to understand my needs. So we have an open relationship because of it. She does not see other men she says she can't do it. Even though I told her she could as long as we stay the primary relationship...When we first started going out marriage was something we planned but I changed my mind along the way. Been through a marriage before and cheated during it. Don't know what to do next, How long will she do this? I don't want to lose her...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2008): Let her go, then you may just realise she was the one or maybe not.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2008): If you really loved her, you let her go. But your being selfish by keeping her in a dead end relationship she's not strong enough to leave. She's not getting any younger, and you need to let her go so she can find a man who will treat her the way she deserves and your just be a painful memory. Also I find men your age still afraid of commitment quite pathetic! sorry
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (16 October 2008):
 Piss or get off the pot, Buddy. If you truly love her as much as you say you do, you will cut her loose to find the committed, exclusive relationship she seeks. Some people do no thrive in an open relationship, sounds like she's one of them. Don't think of yourself and do her the favor.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (16 October 2008):
 If you don't give her what she wants, someone else will. If you don't want to be with her in exclusive, someone else will, and she will leave you for that guy. Her leaving will be part of your decision not to commit to her only, just as much as your seeing other people is.
If you want to make an omelette, you have to break some eggs.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2008): Well, you're being very selfish to put her life on hold...you obviously have committment issues and 'accept' them as who you are. Although, you're short changing your life to never experience a deeper love only a monogamous marriage can give. PLEASE free her of this relationship...it's just a matter of time before she will. In the meantime, add something to your life to give you more depth :) or consider moving to a Utah polygamist community..ha
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A
female
reader, HonningKanin  +, writes (16 October 2008):
 You are going to lose her. She will eventually grow fustrated and leave you unless you keep the promises you made to get her back, but since that is not your intention you need to let her go.
It is incredibly selfish of you to do this to her. If you truely did love her you would stop wasting her time. She wants a marriage, commitment and loyalty. Things you are not prepaired to give her. Again if you truely loved her you wouldn't have a problem giving things up for the woman you truely loved.
Let her go, let her leave you, have your fun and let her begin her life with someone who can give her what she wants and who doesn't have a problem being commited to one woman. When you love someone you want to make sure they are happy and you give them everything they want without feeling that they are making huge sacrifices. If you cant and above all unwilling, you let them go so that they can find what you know they desire.
So you either you reform to keep her or you let her go so that another man can fulfill her needs.
Good Luck
HonningKanin
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A
female
reader, Serenity1 +, writes (16 October 2008):
 I'm curious when are you going to be ready to commit? Your profile says you're between the ages of 41-50, and your still not ready? You know you can catch a deadly disease (condoms break) messing with other women. If you lose her that will be your fault. I think you need to sit down and ask yourself what are your priorities. I actually mess with a guy who is 39 and been with his girl for 15yrs on and off and he still hasn't married her. Now looking at your post I know why. My thing is after all those years I mean what are you waiting for? You should have been had enough variety in sex mates for a life time. But then again I'm not a man so I don't exactly know what you are feeling. Best hopes
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A
female
reader, shiraz  +, writes (16 October 2008):
hiyah, it must be really hard for her as she obviously loves you a lot. you need to realise this and when your mind wanders to another woman or you simply feel the need to cheat etc then think of this, yeah these woman make you feel good in the spur of the moment but this womans love for you is genuine and i get the impression she would do nothing to hurt you, and is willing to compromise! this is more than love! shell give everything for you knowing your reputation and she has has the option but yet is giving it all to you. you need to focus on this and be greatful for what it is you have because i doubt she will remain like this forver an im sorry i know i sound harsh but you need to start showing her some apreication and love im not saying you have to commit settle down and have kids just love her for now and plan the future together when your both comfortable.
you need to get out of this place youve found yourself constantly being in its unfair on everyones part, youve found someone that loves you, asks for nothing in return and gives you all shes got you dont get that everyday not many find it in a life time so dont waste it on past habbits, cut them now and enjoy the life you have been givien the option to live, im sorry ive been blunt and probably not answered your question but i wanted you to look at it from all angles. hope all goes wel in the future x :)
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A
female
reader, porkchop.xo  +, writes (16 October 2008):
 I think you are being selfish. If you want this girl then have her and if you can't give her what she wants then let her go. Don't keep making her promises you know you can't keep, you are only breaking her heart. If she is as beautiful and amazing as you say then why not be happy you have this head turning girl? But you aren't happy with that, so let her be with someone who will appreciate her for everything she is. I am the same girl in a relationship, and I am sticking around because I'm in love, and he makes the same promises. There is no telling how long she will stay but do her a favor and don't break her heart anymore.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2008): ok, I'm going to be brutal, so I'm just warning you in advance...I'm sorry. You are selfish, and she deserves better. How can you expect her to keep waiting for you? That isn't fair. If you want to have other women, then just end it with her. Do you have any idea how much you must be hurting her? If my husband had acted like you I would have kicked him out so long ago. At least you are honest with her about it, I give you credit for that. But let her go, this just isn't fair. Plain and simple. I would NEVER tolerate a man doing this to me.I would never do this to my husband. Maybe some women are ok with it, maybe your lady is one of them. But I think she's going to get sick of it and tell you goodbye. If you want her, want to keep her, you need to change your ways. End of story.
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