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male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: HI, im 22, met a really nice girl just before christmas, probaly to nice for me, but she does really like me. anyway, went to hers the other nite and was going to make love but i couldnt get or sustain a full erection, this was my first time so im guessing its nerves, but usually im quite a horny person but since i have met her and known i could and prob would lose my virginity o have lost all interest in sex, its bizarre. i still manage to give oral etc but i need some tips so the little man will play???
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2008): last night i was havin a threesome both girls are slammin but when i was in the one girl all systems were go and it was excellent then when it came time for me to start drillin the other one i dont know what happened while i was in action it just collapsed on me like a slug with salt and she got upset about it like i wasn't attracted to her as much which isnt the case at all. but i noticed i personally was much more comfortable with the one girl then the other and everything just seemed to flow better. i had madd thoughts running throo my head with the other girl. but in a sexual situation, you can't let your thoughts get to you otherwise it will diminish the experience. yes i kno controlling your thought process is hard to do. im gonna be upset about last night for a while, just a flat out terrible episode
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2008): AGE: 21, GENDER: M
I search engined this, just to see if it was about nerves. I figured it was. I have anxiety problems and a low self esteem. I don't know "HOW" to relax!
This was my second time. My biggest problem is that she thinks I don't want her. I tryed to convince her that shes the one who's on my mind but she doesn't believe me. We were just drunk the second time, the first time i was drunk and high on X and coke and I did "get it up" but I can't remember it all too well she didn't seem too happy before and afterwards. We don't live in the same place. This last time though was a real heart-breaker. I hope just mine.
If you have time, use it, use it wisely and be romantic. Just try hard not to be too corny. Don't rush. Talk before during and after. being honest is important. Lord knows I wish I could spend more time with her. Being more of a friend. Being more of a lover. I know she's been with other guys, I think shes been let down alot.
THIS last time was bad, I hope she loves me, I hope I can forgive myself. It's confusing. I should try being with her and being sober, instead of a clumsy drunk. MY body has gotten dumpy... my next chance won't be for a while, If I ever get another chance with her.
My advice, Take care of your lovers. They are fragile. You are their weakness. Focus less on your short comings and more on being thoughtful and kind.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2008): don't worry about it, i had the same problem my first experience. i had also been drinking a little, which wasn't the best idea. once you feel comfortable and don't think about it, you will be fine
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2008): happened to me last night. now the girl thinks its because of her. sux lol
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2008): Hey man, I've had it worse.. sort of, I've slept with my ex.. like over 300 times..
with the last two girls I've been with the first we would fool around The 'big man' wouldn't come out to play.. so embarassing.. the second day though the problem went away.. although last night I took a girl home and she wanted to have sex.. and I couldn't.. sucks soo much. I'm hoping next time it will be fine.
bigest problem I believe was that I was thinking.. man I have to get a boner.. I have to.. psyched myself out.. lame..
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2008): me and my girlfriend this afternoon decided we wanted to try it..so i went out and put on the condom, byebye hard man..!
I Dont know why..it made me feel embarrased..like i didnt want to be there anymore..Help!?!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2008): Same thing happened to me with my new girlfriend. When I was cuddling her in bed I was at full mast. I fingered her and we kissed and then I went down on her. But when it was my turn the sex drive was completely gone and I couldn't get it up. I told her I was nervous and she understood. Afterwards we were watching a film together snug on the sofa and the big man made an appearance which was comforting since I knew I wasn't broken.I'm pretty confident I can meet expectations next time though. It made me feel like half a man at the time, totally heartbreaking, but you gotta address these things and build up confidence and comfort for the next time.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2008): oo wow.. i feel better now reading this.. the same thing happened to me.. i went round my girlfriends house but we PLANNED to have sex.. its the worst thing you can do trust me.. just relaxx and dont worry bout it..im hoping ur comments will help me lol!! but yh im a horny personn..
Head helps iswell i herd..
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2008): Same thing happened to me with the first girl who liked me and wanted to have sex with me. 24/7 horniness totally evaporated. Do not sweat this at all: be honest with the girl about your nerves, forget intercourse--in fact make intercourse off limits--just play and kiss and fool around and do oral, do whatever you feel like and nothing else, and nature will eventually take over. There was nobody around to give me this advice at the time and I spent two years being totally miserable and afraid to try again, but in the end, love saw me through. That was 36 years ago and I've been fine ever since.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2007): cool....... i have a new girlfriend and just when i put on the condom it stopped working. At least the girl understood. Il just relax.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2007): hey, yesterday was gonna be my first time, but i had the same problem. =/ i didnt notice at the time, but i was nervous, i didnt eat anythign that day, and i was thinking too much about it. after reading the responses other people have given u, i feel better about it. lol i was so embarrased, but i also feel better cause she wasnt mad because she understands i guess. but yeah ill just try to relax next time, i think you shuld do the same. good luck XD
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2007): This is a fairly common problem among young men. I have faced this problem on a couple of occasions when with a new partner for the first time. No need for drugs, just relaxing and getting to know your partner, feeling emotionaly and sexually attracted will have him up in no time. Once you'v gotten past this first hurdle, there'll be no problems at all.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2007): Don't worry about it one bit. I have been with my girlfriend for 11 months now and the same thing has happened to me but the more times you try the easier it gets until finally your little man has become big. I always found putting on condoms killed the big man because of nerves but now i find giving her oral sex and putting it on at the same time is the best. Just remember to relax and if you start to worry about it going down or it not going up just stop what your doing and relax. After you have had sex for a few times it gets alot easier like it has done for me. Good Luck ......... but you won't need it if you just relax and take it slow.
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (10 January 2007):
 Totally the nerves kickin' in. You're alright, and I promise - it'll get up and it'll work just fine. What you need is time and patience. Don't force it and just relax.
Lots and lots of foreplay will do the trick. And even if it doesn't work the 2nd time you have sex, give it a few times and you'll be alright. Get used to each others bodies, explore what you enjoy sexually. Once you two are really familiar with each other and comfortable with each other, your 'little man' should have no problems.
Also, drinking won't help your little man.
Good luck and happy orgasms!!
xxIndia
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2007): Just my opinion..........................
Get hold of Cialis it will give you a good, firm, natural boner without any hesitation. Use it at a very small dose like 5mg the first or second time you f*** to get started, then you will be unlikely to have any problems in the future because you'll have the confidence you need. Take 30-60 minutes beforehand and try at home before the big night to see how you react. A private doctor can prescribe (safer!) or it's available all over the 'net (not as safe).
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2007): This is definatly nerves. The same thing happened with the guy i lost my virginity, your sex drive will come over time, you just need to feel comfortable round each other first. You arent the first and you definatly wont be the last!
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A
female
reader, kath +, writes (10 January 2007):
 hi you have nothing at all to fear the little man will soon be a big man! once he has had a taste he wont be able to get enough. all males have nerves the first couple of times and im sure that this is what you have, maybe if you light a candle talk/think horny but most of all relax. good luck x
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A
female
reader, Lilly223 +, writes (10 January 2007):
 I'm sure this is all nerves and anxiety... and don't take his behavior personally!...little men are more sensitive to stress than you imagine them to be! Take your time, keep doing what you are doing, learn your parter a bit more... so you can relax. Little man will work when he is ready to... and have fun until then!
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A
female
reader, dragonette  +, writes (10 January 2007):
 Most likely your soldier won't stand at attention because of nerves, and well, I've never had a penis, so these are just my suggestions based on logic:
Don't drink any alcohol (or smoke any weed).
Try to get to "it" slowly, as in "a lot of foreplay".
If you feel that you don't want to have sex that evening, don't push yourself, it's not healthy.
Try focusing on the stuff you enjoy (I like the feeling of skin, so I often do massages).
Don't worry about getting it up, if you do, you'll end up in negative thinking which might affect you.
Be aware that it might take a few tries, and don't be worried about what she thinks, she'll understand if she loves you.
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