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I cheat on my fiancee all the time, but its his fault cause he got me into computers

Tagged as: Cheating, Online dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (21 August 2007) 16 Answers - (Newest, 18 September 2007)
A female United Kingdom age 51-59, anonymous writes:

I am engaged to a wonderful man who i love,but i am addicted to cheating.It seems so easy,they are all available on the internet. He has almost caught me twice,but luckily i turned it around on him and now he has to prove to me that he`s not a cheat. He could be,i have to take his word for that. He should also accept part responsibility,as he was the one to get me into computers in the first place. I love him but is it wrong if he doesnt know? Does this make me a bad person?

View related questions: engaged, fiance, the internet

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2007):

I can only imagine you are trying to convince yourself that you are not to blame but you, 100 percent, are im afraid.

Ask youself this; god forbid, but if something bad happened to him, could you ever live with yourself for doing this behind his back for the rest of your life? you are doing an extremely hurtful thing to this man and messing with someone's emotions like this will end badly for you.

I am a big believer in looking at the bigger picture and like to consider all angles and think that you are hurting deep down with his actions but I insist that you seek to resolve your low self esteem some other way. You are hurting youself and him and it is completely unnecessary.

stop doing this now....switch off the computer. would you not rather have a physical relationship than a virtual one. I fear you will regret this. take heed

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2007):

Take some responsibility for your own actions. I've known a lot of teenagers who do a lot better than you do.

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A male reader, AndreC. Canada +, writes (3 September 2007):

AndreC. agony auntsorry to say but that makes you discusting you should be faithful to him if your not happy with your relationship dnt drag him along and hurt him tell him the truth tell him you want to move on and that you dnt love him at all because if you can cheat on him then you dnt love him and leave leave before you hurt him even more!!!!

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A female reader, Skeez United Kingdom +, writes (25 August 2007):

Skeez agony auntYour discusting. A typical cheater.

Eeew.

Sorry love but you discust me so much. And at your age!!! you should realise by now that cheating is a terrible thing and hell yes it mkes you a bad person. Your sick and evil.

I think you should just tell him rigth out 'Hi. I love cheating on you and meeting lods of guys on the net becuase i can get away with it. Oh yeah oh yeah i still love you so much but hellyeah I love cheating on you'

pfft your a pathetic woman. Once he finds out your a cheater he will run a mile and be ever so glad he got rid of you. or why dnt you just do it for him tell him and get on with your sick ways by yourself.

Let him find a woman who loves him truelly. not your fake love where your possibly just looking for attention and the feelin of being engaged makes you feel more important or watever the hell is going on inside your twisted head.

yeah rigth. get over yourself.

I hope once you two split up he will have a happier life with someone else while you just mawl around on the net meeting 60 year old perves.

People liek you make me mad and the world would be better off without your discusting habbits.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2007):

this doesnt make you a bad person but come on u need to take responsibilty its not your husbands fault that he taught you how to use computers. he taught you because he loves you and you go and cheat on him you should be ashamed. my boyfriend knows how to use computers and never once cheated on me and vice versa. take responsibilty and grow up and stop cheating on the man who loves you, and if not hes just too good for you

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2007):

You are lying to your fiance,and feel no guilt whatsoever. You will probably blame him aswell for ending up on the scrapheap. If you want to drop your knickers to every Arthur,Tom or maybe even Marva,do the honorable thing and end your selfish relationship because he could do better. You are using your fiance for comfort and emotional security. You dont love him. You carry on what you do best,and face the consequences at leasure.

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A female reader, hlskitten United Kingdom +, writes (21 August 2007):

hlskitten agony auntYou already know the answer to that.

This must be a joke post. I dont believe anyone could be that nasty, not at your age anyway.

If on the slim chance it isnt a wind up, i would seek counselling, and quick. Internet blokes are usually disease ridden if they are sleeping with attached women on the first meet.

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A male reader, Jamer70 United Kingdom +, writes (21 August 2007):

Jamer70 agony auntYES YOUR A BAD PERSON! your blaming him for your cheating as he introduced you to computers. Thats a lame excuse if i ever heard one.

Either leave him now and have you internet relationships or stop cheating and do normal things on the computer like ebay, amazon or this site.

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A male reader, agony_uncle_r United Kingdom +, writes (21 August 2007):

does it make you a bad person, no it doesnt

it makes you down right disgusting and evil

your having an affair, betraying his trust and destroying your relationship. then have the ordasity to turn round and blame him for it? what tree did you just fall from?

its your fault you lack the moral guidance and self control to remain faithfull to the man you say you love.

i suggest you do him a favour and leave his life for good, and while you at it seek help for what seems like a very sad case of not being able to judge or control yourself

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A female reader, love-him United Kingdom +, writes (21 August 2007):

love-him agony auntHi. what i have just read is completly wrong! Your partner has MOST LIKELY stayed FAITHFUL where you have been cheating and PROUDLY sayin u managed to turn it around on him. That to me is disgusting. It is most certainly not his fault you got into computers, you are in control of yourself.. stop lying to yourself. You are nasty and cruel.. Finish with this man, he deserves a very lot more than you.

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A female reader, Manya United States +, writes (21 August 2007):

For goodness sake, STOP CHEATING!!!! THIS MOMENT!! Find some other ways

to fill your time. Goodness, if you're engaged,shouldn't you have other things to think about? Please take up a hobby like running or knitting! Why not bake him some cookies? Anything.

What all the aunts are saying is true!!!!!!!!

Also, perhaps a therapist or counselor could help you get past this. Maybe you're

frightened to death of marriage committment?

But the bottomline is,

This won't work and is causing your fiancee pain. Poor guy to be engaged

to you!!!!!!

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A female reader, deejuliet United States +, writes (21 August 2007):

deejuliet agony auntYes, you are a bad person. Blaming him and turning things around on him when you almost got caught show some serious charater flaws. You are unworthy of him.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2007):

Oh, don't be giving us this kind of "guff"! Its your fiance's fault? Yeah, right, and the moon is made of green cheese.

You claim to love him and if you are engaged, are presumably going to marry at some point. If you love him as you say you do, why are you cheating on him? Saying you are addicted is a cop-out, and you must surely know it.

Yes, its wrong whether he knows what you are doing, or not, and yes, it makes you a bad person.

Either quit what you are doing, or break off your engagement and have no further contact with him, if you want to pursue your "hobby."

At least he will be free to meet a woman more deserving of him!

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (21 August 2007):

eyeswideopen agony auntDon't be blaming your boyfriend for your own character flaws and weaknesses. Don't marry the guy either.

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A female reader, flower girl United Kingdom +, writes (21 August 2007):

flower girl agony auntWhat a lame excuse that is, my husband got me into computers but that has not made me start cheating on him.

If you want to see other people then you get out of your relationship.

How can you say that you love him, if you love someone you have absolutely no desire to cheat at all.

You need to start taking responsibilities for your actions and either stop cheating and be faithful to your boyfriend or give him some respect and get out.

Take care.xx.

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A male reader, Sandman United States +, writes (21 August 2007):

Sandman agony auntYes that makes you a bad person! What is wrong with you? And how dare you blame him for your infidelity! Just because he introduced you to computers does NOT give you the right to blame him for your cheating. That is wrong on all fronts. If he is such a wonderful man, why are you doing this to him?

I don't even think it's worth telling him the truth. Just leave and have fun with all the guys you desire to be with. But don't drag him along for the ride. Telling him the truth might scar the image he has of GOOD women that are out there and it may keep him from...just leave him and don't look back. This is ridiculous. Pisses me off you blaming him...AARRRGH!

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