A
female
age
26-29,
*nila239
writes:I really need help, i am a 15 year old Christian girl and i have a serious masturbation problem, i try to stop because of beliefs in my religion but when the urge is present i just cant stop i find that i like to watch porn while i do it and i know it is wrong, i also noticed that i like to watch girls which makes me wonder if subconsciously i like girls even though i know that i really like boys i try to go a period of time without doing it, i even made a chart but i cant go more than a few days without doing it please help me if you can enlighten me on this embarrassing situationSincerelyAnila239
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female
reader, Auntie Amber :)  +, writes (22 January 2013):
 Oh my Honey!Firstly i want to start off by saying, there is nothing wrong with you!you're a young teenage girl, who's hormones are all over the place.I am a Christian, okay well i was Christened and as a child i used to go to church 3 times a week with my family whom are very devoted to their religion. I started masturbating from a very young age so young i cant remember how old i was, as i went through my teenage years i was masturbating around 3 times a day, and like you i couldnt go more than a few day without doing so... I just couldnt help myself, i was even doing it in the toilets at school..I also watched porn, i still do, whether it be on my own or with my partner i enjoy it, i watch girl on girl and it turns me on, but does not mean i am attracted to women, it just means im mature enough to appreciate the same sex :)You shoulnt be embarresed either! Its difficult to talk to your parents about, but there are always people out there who understand :)Im always here if you need to talk or you need some more questions answered without being told what you are doing is WRONG because it is NOT!Hugs
A
female
reader, Ohlalaluna +, writes (21 January 2013):
 I am right on board with SensitiveBloke. David held his sin a secret for a long time and as he did, his bones began to whither. Keeping a sin to yourself will only keep the door open. If you really want to change and get over this, the best way is to find a Leader in your church, the Pastors wife, an Elder, someone who can trust, someone who will have your back and not spread your business around, and tell them what you are struggling with. If this person truly is a Christian Leader, she will guide you through prayer and will be a mentor for you to lead you of of this dark time. Don't worry Honey, you aren't the only one who struggled with this. I was in the exact situation a couple of years ago, and I being a Pastors daughter know how hard it is to speak to someone about such a dark sin. But I can tell you for sure, the moment I went to my Youth Leader and told her my addictions to girl on girl porn and masturbation, I was free. Haven't done any of that stuff for a little over 2 years. There is hope my Dear, just seek guidance form a leader of your church. There is wisdom in the council of elders. Blessings.-Sara, 23
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2013): Hi again, I forgot to address the part where you say you seem to like watching girls. I'm not enough of an expert to know whether homosexuality is innate or acquired, but the Bible makes clear that acting on it is a sin -- this is also made obvious by the fact that two people of the same sex cannot be married by definition (despite the perverse attempts of several states to pretend otherwise). While the thoughts themselves *might* not be sinful per se, they can only lead to sinful acts, and are best nipped in the bud. Imagining a future husband is, however, perfectly fine, provided you maintain a strict line between fantasy and reality until you are actually married.And not to start a religious debate (especially with someone who herself does not ascribe to it), but Catholics have made Christianity much more ritual- and rule-based than it ever was meant to be. Catholics say masturbation is a sin; they also said (still say?) that eating red meat on Friday is a sin, and that claiming the Earth revolves around the Sun warrants death. Jesus came to free the Jews (and all of us) from a ritual-based religion. If God had intended for people not to even *think* about sex before marriage, He would have set puberty at a much higher age than He did.The important thing for a Christian (in matters sexual and otherwise) is to maintain purity of heart and mind. Sex was intended by God to be beautiful and pure, when done in the proper framework (marriage). But sexual cravings exist before then, and there is nothing impure or "dirty" about satisfying them oneself, nor about a mental fantasy that helps one to do so, particularly if the fantasy scenario would not be a sin if it were to happen in real life.Just for the record, I personally do not consider Catholicism to be a Christian religion (although many Catholics might also be (misguided) Christians).
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (16 January 2013):
 I don't know about Protestants, for Christian Catholics masturbation is definitevely a sin,( when a young person go to confession is one of the first things they get asked about ). Although it is considered a venial sin, ( minor ) I guess, not a mortal one( major ).
As for the adultery thing- how can you commit adultery if you are single, ah well. Easy. For all kind of Christians . Because it's not " adultery " in the sense of cheating on a spouse . By some quirk of the language , only in English the sixth commandment has been called " do not commit adultery " ( probably in the ancient, obsolete meaning of " corruption, defilation " ). In all other languages,including Latin that for centuries used to be the universal language of Christianity , it is " do not fornicate " i.e. do not commit acts of fornication,i.e. impure, lustful,"dirty" acts.
Reason for which , while having inappropriate,lustful thoughts about somebody popping up in your mind it's not a sin in itself because you did not consciously or intentionally provoke them, indulging and revelling in said thoughts ,or seeking what generates these thoughts, it is. Watching porn, for instance.
Just for the record. Personally, I am not Christian , and I do not delegate to any God the management and supervision of my sexual life.
But , the OP is , and although she can be sure to count on the tolerance , comprehension and indulgence with which most Christian Churches handle the problem of teenage years natural sexual turmoil , it's not spiritually correct to tell her yeah, don't worry , do whatever, relax and enjoy. For a Christian, God forgives all the sins... but only IF they have been honestly fought and battled against and IF the sinner is sincerely repentant, and sincerely determined to sin no more.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2013): The Bible doesn't prohibit masturbation. God knows our sexual cravings don't stay dormant and then all of a sudden get turned on like a switch when we get married. It's perfectly normal to get horny, and perfectly un-sinful to manually relieve your own pent-up desire. It is certainly better to do that than to do something you'll regret with someone else.Nor does the Bible prohibit lust, in the way we think about it today. Jesus said that looking at someone lustfully was adultery, but how can you commit adultery if you're not married? As a single person, you don't have anyone else to satisfy your sexual needs, and are therefore perfectly allowed to satisfy them yourself.You should not be looking at porn, however. Your mind is more than capable of conjuring up a hot-and-heavy situation between you and the man of your (literal) dreams. If you feel guilty about that, then simply imagine he is your husband and you're on the heart-shaped honeymoon bed.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2013): Coming from a religious background and having had the same problem I understand.
1. In religion eyes porn is porn so it does matter what type you watch
2. At your age you've got a lot of hormones going on and that's your relief
3. A chart will only make you feel worse as it will remind you how long u can last instead of how well ur doin.
4. Look at it as an addiction. It's ok. Don't be frightened. As humans we tend to look for things that takes away pain or makes us feel better. Addictions do NOT stop over night.
5. Porn is a TABOO. Thousands of views on a video r not all from you. Well done for being open. That's the first step :)
Google different sites on overcoming addictions. In time you will get there
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male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (15 January 2013):
 The Lord will forgive you.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (14 January 2013):
 Honey, If you are only masturbating one time every few days you are perfectly normal.
While Porn is not a good idea (and girl on girl porn does NOT mean you are gay or bi) masturbating will not hurt you, in fact it will relieve tension and studies have shown that it flushes your brain with blood flow which is good for you.
NO need to keep a chart about it or fret IMO.
Personally think about this... if God did not want us to masturbate he would have made our arms shorter.
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reader, SensitiveBloke +, writes (14 January 2013):
 Ok, Jesus said that looking at someone lustfully was like having adultery with them in your heart. This is what you're doing when you're masturbating, cos you're not thinking about flowers, right?
The best way to stop is to find an older Christian lady, maybe someone in your church, who you can pray with about it. Someone who you give permission to to ask you how you are getting on, and someone you'll give an honest reply to. Someone who won't judge you but will help and support you.
If you keep it a secret, i can almost guarantee you'll keep on doing it.
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reader, Serpico +, writes (14 January 2013):
Actually, I dont recall there being a single concrete thing in the Bible about masturbation being wrong.
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reader, CMMP +, writes (14 January 2013):
You know, you don't have a serious masturbation problem, you'd probably be shocked if you knew how much your friends are doing it. And I don't think masturbation is wrong in the first place... The point of condemning it probably stems more from the concern people have that if you're masturbating you're going to want to have sex prior to marriage.
Well, wanting to have sex is completely natural whether you masturbate or not and trust me, if you stop masturbating that will only get worse.
Also you should know that it's such a natural thing that almost everyone does it, Christian or not. The difference is Christians are not as open about it so you may feel like everyone around you isn't doing it but they're probably doing it just as much as you.
Something important to remember about being a Christian is that much of what you hear is not the word of God, but rather the word of man supposedly on behalf of God. However, YOU have a direct like to God himself. So bypass the middle man and ask God directly in your prayers if what you're doing is wrong. After all it is God who you worship, not your church isn't it?
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