A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, this is my short story... I have been seeing this guy for about 11 months now, we get along and like being with each other, we spend a lot time together, even in his busy schedule he puts time a side for me, he has his own business and is running it on his own, so it is difficult at times.... The thing is, if he does not answer my call i'll keep calling until he does, which can be up to 16 times in one hour, i know he is busy but the thought of something happened to him on the way to clients comes up often. I would often send up to 60 text messages as well which he replies to every now then.... I fear that because i'm doing this calling and text thing i'm going to scare him away. I dont want to bother him so much i know he has other important things to tend to. What can i do not to call and text so much? I have tried working more and putting my phone off, but by putting my phone off and something does happen to him, i'll have a guilty feeling forever..
View related questions:
text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, ilovebowsandcherries  +, writes (7 April 2009):
 congratulations!!!
you got a great guy there too hun!
well done for fiding ways to control yourself :)
you should be so very proud!!!
i applaud you!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHello guys! Just want to thank you all again.... I managed to put my phone a side and leave it there for over a long period of time.... I have not phoned him on my own, for the last 3 days, i missed one of his called then called back.... I rather wait for him to contact me first then i know his not so busy and he has a moment.... I spoke to him about it, ask him what i should do....he laughed and said, 'you are to cute, you are just fine, dont phone a million times in the same minute then i am busy, phone every 10 or 15 mins, i dont always hear my phone. Although maybe you should just try and put your phone down, I'll make a point of it to phone you in the day, but keep sending those sms i like them' i have finally managed to stop my nonsense...
...............................
A
female
reader, keepitreal03  +, writes (2 April 2009):
Yeah u are being out of control. Why he is not telling u that I don't know but I think he's being nice and doesn't wanna huet ur feelings. I think sometimes he doesn't answer because he's like here we go again she keeps calling. Give him a chance to call u back. And the comment he said do whatever or its whatever means I don't care do what u wanna do. U already do what u want. Have u been cheated on before?? If so u will lose a good man because ur acting like u can't trust him not worried about him.
...............................
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (2 April 2009):
 Jeese Louise, it's like you have no control over your hands or something. Just stop calling and texting him, how hard is that?
...............................
A
female
reader, real1on +, writes (2 April 2009):
yes stop beign a pest he doesnt need that let him call u
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell i done it again.... Phoned him 8 times im 2 hours, he said he you5e be home early tonight but that never happened.... I did not mean to phone so much.... By the time he got home we had another argument, which is not so nice. I told him i don't like bothering him and he said he knows.... I asked him what does he want me to do and he said just do whatever, i asked him what's that supposed to mean and he said i must just not be nosy and not don't care.. What does that mean? I'm smothering him to death and i don't like it...
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2009): Wow, if you keep calling/texing so much you will lose him.
If he's running a business I'm sure he's a big boy and doesn't need another Mom! Why not try calling once, maybe twice per day but not every day and see how that works and please get yourself something else to do. Good luck :)
...............................
A
male
reader, Guitarist +, writes (2 April 2009):
 try to cut down rather than stop completely. set yourself a limit. keep telling yourself that 'if i text/ring him one more time, he'll leave me!' (whether its true or not) it should put u off doing it. dont know what else to suggest.
personally I'd love it if my girlfriend rang and text me that much but thats just me. it shows that you care which would make feel loved and wanted.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanx guys.... Im pretty sure this will work.. Im working well he works, or when i get home before him i'll take a nap or do some baking... I have a lot of spare time in the day, i dont have a really big responsibe job,that i have to put my all into... He travels a lot, very far distances, sometimes he gets home in the early hours of the morning.. I know he does not mean to but work is work and he has to.. South african roads are a serious matter all on their own.. Im going to try cut my texting to 3 day, morning, lunch time and in the evening, i'll phone him 2 between morning and lunch and lunch and evening, that way at least i'll get to say what i have to.... Thank you all very much!
...............................
A
female
reader, sugar_sugar +, writes (2 April 2009):
 What good do you think your messages and missed called would do if something did happen to him? They wouldn't assist him, they wouldn't do anything.If something happens to him, the only role your phone MIGHT play is being the device in which he contacts YOU to tell you what has happened. Calling him constantly isn't going to stop anything bad happening, in fact it's more likely to be the reason for something bad happening - and that is the ending of your relationship.He obviously cares deeply for you as he puts aside as much time as he can for you. What do you do while he is working? What are you doing that allows you so much free time to dedicate all of your spare time thinking of him?It sounds to me like your relationship would be much healthier if you found a hobby to dedicate your time to, or something that adds to your self growth rather than spending everything you having emotionally on this relationship.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2009): Just imagine if the shoe was on the other foot and you was getting 60 txts in a hour and 16 phone calls you'd get pretty annoyed after a while.Just put your phone in your bad and ask him to change your number to ICE ( in case of emergency) that way if anything does happen the authoritys will see it and phone you immediately.Hope this helps.
...............................
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (2 April 2009):
Yes you will lose him.
You just have to accept that he is a big boy and he can look after himself.
Millions of people wander round with nothing happening to them so the chances of it being him are very small.
Keep your phone on but just trust to Kharma or something that gives you comfort. Do good things and then he will be looked after.
Good Luck!! xx
...............................
A
female
reader, keepitreal03 +, writes (2 April 2009):
What job does he have that u fear something bad will happen??is it that serious? U shouldn't call so much guys hate that. If u call once and leave a message its the same as calling 20 times let him know ur worried call me if u can but just text me to let me know ur ok. And he will when he gets the time so there is no need to text him and blow him up.
...............................
A
male
reader, Mr Me +, writes (2 April 2009):
 I think I might beat you... I've tried calling my girlfriend back up to 12 times within 30 minutes. But that's because I know she was ready to pick up the phone. Oddly enough I had a similar thought that you're having: I know I desperately want to talk to her and want her to answer, but I'm going to scare her/annoy the heck out of her by calling so many times.Really, the only thing you can do to not call or text so much is to apply self control. You already have a drive to stop calling him so much and that is you're afraid of scaring him off. So, just use that as a reason not to redial if he doesn't pick up.Remember, he's a busy man, so he wont be able to pick up all the time. Just dial him once, leave a voice mail to say you're calling to say hello, miss him, and hope he's doing well. He'll love to hear the voice mail and, seeing as he's into you he'll call back, guaranteed. :)
...............................
A
female
reader, ilovebowsandcherries +, writes (2 April 2009):
yeah you will push him away with all this pressure of calling and texting him like hundreds of times.just ring him before he goes to work or goes to see clients and say look when you get there just ring me so i know you're ok.or pop me a text to let me know you're ok.that way he doesn't have the hassel of you calling him all the time and he can get on with his work and you can know whether he is safe or not.
...............................
|
