A
female
age
41-50,
*ethz
writes:I have so many troubles about my current boyfriend.For 2 years,I was taking good care of him.He didn't have work and no proper place to live.I was paying his rent and buying his groceries,giving him money for his fare everyday to look for job.I end up having no money after 1 day of my payday but still i kept going.Then he would yell at me on the street when he is angry.He would threat me and scare me.And sometimes he would freak out in front of where I live and wont let me sleep at night time and would go to my workplace and freak out in there....And when he felt bad, he would cry and ask for forgiveness and promising he wont do it again....but he keeps doing it...and i am very afraid every time it happens.I want to break up with him but he threatened me that he will not leave me alone,that he will not make me happy for the rest of my life. And he always curse me so bad that I can't take it anymore. And sometimes he would make a scene on the street that makes me go so nervous that i would run home.I fed him and everything but he treats me like garbage.NO respect.I can't leave him because i am scared that he would keep coming back to my workplace and disturb me.My friends told me to dump him but i don't know what to do. I want to call the police every time he disturb and harass me at night time but i have no guts to do it.I am scred....
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (5 October 2009):
You know you're more unsafe in this relationship than out of it. He's using you as a mother substitute (no offence there, you're a brilliant girl). He'll get over it. If he starts anything, get the police out and get a restraining order on him. Don't live a life of fear when you can get away.
A
female
reader, Karlin24  +, writes (5 October 2009):
 Yes, things might get worse for a while if you dump him. But things will definately get worse if you don't. It's called Protection Order. You file it with your courthouse. When he harrasses you, or shows up at your work, you call the cops. The order will be in the computer and they will arrest him. It sounds harsh, but not as harsh as what could happen to you if you let this continue. I was you, and it took a while for me to get away. Actually it took a skull fracture. Then Protection order, then calling the cops repeatedly. It was awful, but still better than life under his thumb. If you want someone to help you get thru this, send me emails thru this site and I will help you however I can. Abusive relationships do not get better, and seldom go away on thier own. But you have to get out now.
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A
male
reader, dicaprio174 +, writes (5 October 2009):
Sounds like you need a restraining order on this guy. He treats u this way, then he asks for forgiveness, the does it again. There is a pattern, and this pattern will continue until you put a stop to it. Go to the police now. He won't be able to do anything about it.
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A
male
reader, pervertatilex  +, writes (5 October 2009):
yep he is leechin off of your life. your not legally responsible for him. its easy to say turn a blind eye but you know deep down what you need to do. good luck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2009): You're in an abusive relationship. You need to reach out to a women's center and seek assistnace. I can't tell if your living together, but they'll help either way. I'd start getting your economic and living affairs in order and make a plan to terminate this toxic relationship. I'd get a restaining order for both your home and work, and make sure that your employeer knows about it. If he violates it, he'll go to jail. Change the locks, change your route to work... secure your mail (get a PO box), change passwords, email, phone... everything. You need to surround yourself with women who have been where you are and can get you out. PLEASE seek them out, they WANT to help you!
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A
female
reader, Pineknot +, writes (5 October 2009):
You need to go to the police, or the nearest court house, and obtain a restraining order. I've been there and done this. It won't change. He will not stop, he will not change. Please get some help, find a help line or a friend and go to the police. If he is threatening you, tell the judge you are afraid and they will help protect you. You also might want to get yourself some form of protection of your own. If you feel you need to, go and stay with a friend where he can't find you. If you need to get your personal items out of the house, take an officer with you. Women who stay in these situations sometimes stay so long that they fight back, and when that happens, your freedom may be at stake. I know what I'm talking about because I have been where you are. Please get some help. Life is too short to be spent with someone who's frightening and dangerous. You're better than this. You deserve a better life, where you are respected and cared for. Just my two cents. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, ellie:) +, writes (5 October 2009):
 you should do what you think would make you feel happy.. if i were you i would dump him and if he isnt crazy he will leave you alone and if he doesnt get some guts and call the police on him but dont tell him that you did cause that would be a dumb thing to do!!!!!!!
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