A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am the other girl. Slowly i'm realizing that he's a complete jerk and this all might not be worth it. I do enjoy being the other girl because I hate his girlfriend. How can i GET caught on purpose?? I want her to know, I want him to get caught. I want to leak hard evidence, enough for him to get caught and her to leave him. but overall I dont want to seem too obvious that I'm leaking evidence on purpose. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, pashanoodle  +, writes (16 September 2008):
 Well anon with all the ideas...I wonder how you'd feel if the shoe was on the other foot? Have you had any success at securing long-term, fullfilling relationships using the techniques you describe?? I doubt it. Ever been in a committed relationship?
To the poster...you may like the "strategies" anon suggests, so you may choose to go out and "eliminate the competition"...but mark my words...that won;t make you "win". You'll be left lonely and crying!
A
female
reader, TELLULAH  +, writes (15 September 2008):
 God no wonder you stayed anon. You two should get to-gether your just as nasty as each other.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2008): Hey there, there's nothing wrong to get what you want. If that's the guy you want, then eliminating the necessary competition is a good plan. It's a good idea to start leaving little things in his car or his house where his gf visits, such as stockings, lipstick, or underwear. Also, try calling him when he's on a date with his gf or accidentally bumping into him and his gf on their date. I always think perfume is wonderful because you can leave traces of it on his pillows, sheets, or shirts. Sooner or later, his gf will find out. Also, if you can find out where his gf's female friends like to hang out, you can show up at those spots with the guy. Women love to gossip. Words will get out!
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female
reader, pashanoodle +, writes (13 September 2008):
I reckon you hate yourself, AND you don't hate the girlfriend at all...you're jealous of her.
Is there anything constructive that can come from 'getting caught on purpose"? Have you asked yourself what it is you want from that? I suspect that if the "affair" comes out YOU will be the one that regrets it in the end. You might feel a moment of control or satisfation - but then you'll be alone again and chances are the two of them will be working even harder on their relationship - and happier than ever.
I believe this "jerk" probably lead you to think that you'd get more from him...now you're realising that that won't happen...and looking at this whole situation in a different light...but you walked into this mess honey - you knew he was involed with someone, why is it such a surprise that he is turning out to be a jerk?
I really don;t get your attitude, but like one of the other posters has said - don;t waste your time and energy on him or the poor girlfriend, try to find yourself and then maybe you'll find some happiness. All your bitterness and hatred will just bring you more negativity.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2008): Dear Poster
I feel so sorry for you; you are full of hatred and bitterness; you have discovered, for what so ever reason that this guy is a "jerk" and now you are hurting; but to want to take revenge in your own hands and hurt other people, will not make you feel better; in fact afterwards you will feel horrible and even more empty.
DON'T do it, rather set them free from your mind and start concentrating on more positive things; count your blessings that you are not the one wasting your life with this guy; an old golden rule that always works well in life is:" not to do unto others that you don't want them doing to you".
Life is like a big wheel; it keeps turning! You might not feel happy about a lot of things and might have reason to dislike her, but that does not give you the right to be the judge and to hurt her on purpose.
I do believe you are a better stronger person and will not do it; you probably wrote this in anger and needed to air your frustration.
I do trust that you will avoid those two people and spend your time and energy on more positive things; go out and meet new friends. Be happy and allow those around you to share your happiness.
Hatred and bitterness will not leave room for happiness; clear your mental and emotional "rooms" and move on with a new clean start.
Best wishes and lots of SMILES.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2008): im sorry but i wont even help u hear.. i think that u r only think of urself... i dont think anyonewould help u.. this sit is about helping people not hurting people.... i dont even know u and i feel disappointed in u... GROW UP
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2008): You present as aged 26-29 and currently living in the USA. I don't know why you thought that somebody would help you with your nasty plan, this is a relationship advice site, we help people, we don't try to hurt them...
I didn't even hear one word of kindness from you about this guy or his girlfriend. You want to hurt her, why? Cause you hate her, why? Not nice, not nice at all. But at least you have an answer to why he prefers her to you. You are a nasty piece of work. He didn't use you, no you gladly jumped in his bed even though you knew he had a girlfriend. Now your upset because he likes her, well why shouldn't he, you are a nasty minded, double crossing cow, you like to hurt people, why he has anything at all to do with you, I don't know...
Get over yourself, your not that nice, you don't deserve happiness, because you don't give that out, instead you like hurting people and making them cry. Try to fix yourself, and maybe one day you can be like her, and find reasons to be proud of yourself, rather than talking to strangers who think what the hell is wrong with her.
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female
reader, sappygirl +, writes (12 September 2008):
 you're in your late 20's and by now you should be more mature enough to know these are immature games you a planning. Why are you spending your time & energy over this when it can be focused on other productive things.
You hate his GF, but hating someone takes a lot of wasted energy and brings you down negatively. I think you should forget about hurting people and concentrate on loving yourself.
Besides, if you go ahead an try to hurt her, just remember that there is a thing called "Karma"
It will return and hurt you tenfolds.
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A
female
reader, littlesuziepie +, writes (12 September 2008):
 Did you ever think that your just so hurt your self and that's why you hate his Gf? That's why you want to get caught. You probably want this guy all 4 your self and he won't leave her for you and now you want revenge. In the end when your called nasty things and no one talks to you then you will see that revenge is never sweet in this situation. Let it alone! Leave him and go on with your life. You need to deal with your feelings and don't hurt anyone else in the process. Your hate is only your hurt and to deal with that by hurting others is the worst way to deal with it. Figure out why your hurt....he has a gf.. Change that hurt by leaving him and her alone and find another man not attached this time. In the end you will feel better if you don't do what you planned. Or if you make it so your caught the sad hurt and anger will only grow. Be nice. And nice will be done to you.
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A
female
reader, O Connor  +, writes (12 September 2008):
 what a horrible thing to plan? just cos you dont like his gf doesnt mean she can feel pain and get hurt like everyone else. do you not realise that wat you want to do is really going to break her heart? you say he's a jerk - wat does that make you? ruining 2 ppl's lives isnt going to make you a better or happier person. i really cant understand why someone would want to be so cruel and hateful. leave the two of them alone and really think about wat kind of a person you are for wanting to intentionally hurt ppl like this.
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A
male
reader, Ed1337 +, writes (12 September 2008):
 hmm if you hate them both so much why don't you just forget about them and move on? I suggest you stop wasting your life and get over it, plenty more fish in the sea.
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female
reader, TELLULAH +, writes (12 September 2008):
"He is a complete jerk" Why do you want him then?
For whatever reason you hate this other girl, I wonder if she knows about you.? If she doesn't and is a trusting person, I cant see why you hate her so much, perhaps you should chanel you energy into hating him instead. After all he obviously doesnt care about either of you does he?
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female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (12 September 2008):
I can't give advice on playing stupid games with people's emotions because I don't do that because I have a life.
I suggest you get one too.
Stuff both of them.
Good Luck!! xx
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female
reader, thatgothgirl20 +, writes (12 September 2008):
 Hahahahaha. Yeah, get caught, so he can get mad at you, leave you, and try so hard to make-up to his gf. Great plan!
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