A
male
age
30-35,
*otwaterlover
writes:hello there. i am a student from china who is now exchanging in france. i met a guy who is from another school at the public canteen and he is very very handsome. that day he approached me and say he was new in town and do not know anyone. we had a great time and at the end of the day we exchanged phone numbers. at first he would call me asking to eat together, i guess he was too shy to make new friends so i am the only one he can hang out. he is a nice person, he helped me with some french problems and even give me his previous phone for free. but now it seems that he has french friends and he enjoys being with them more than with me. i am only an exchange student, i will not stay here for more than half year, also i only know very basic french. we contact in english but sometimes the conversation just cannot go on because we do not know how to express ourselves thuroughly in english.today he said '' i prefer grils in my class'' unintentionally. i think this pretty much presents that he is straight. i was sad when i heard because this guy is really the first one in my 20 years of life to crush on. i like male since i was a kid but never been into a relationsip.in my place i am considered as handsome, but i am not sure weather the westren or the white people share the same feeling. and, with some many boundaries and limitation, time, language, race, is it wise to confess to him? i find it harder and harder to be with him already, what do i do?
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male
reader, Biffo  +, writes (21 September 2012):
You seem not to be sure if he is straight or gay. The best would be to ask him if he would like to go the cinema (or similar) with you. If he makes an excuse not to go, then you know he is not interested and nothing more need to be said. If you go the cinema with him, suggest afterwards a drink. Then just through talking you'll find out if he is attracted to you. My feeling is that he has an inkling that you may be gay and he has dropped a few "I prefer girls" messages in the hope that you will understand, without anything needing to be asked. Hope you find someone perfect for you. Best of luck!
A
male
reader, hotwaterlover +, writes (21 September 2012):
hotwaterlover is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you guys for trying to help me!i have something to add:1 he knows i am an exchange student and i will not stay long, but he seem not to mind to make friends with me.2 the situation when he told me that he preffer grils than boys is like this: i was asking him about his class, and he told me there are only six boys in his class, i said why, he said because i prefer grils than boys (which does not make any logical sence)3 he does not know i like him neither does he know i am gay, because we never talked about this topic before.4 he cliams that he never had a girl friend, there was only one gril who expressed her feelings to him but he did not accept. he has a very close female friend, they have been classmates for a very long time before college, and he keeps in touch with her frequently on skype and this account is created just to talk with her, but she has a boyfriend and he is very close to his boyfriend too. 5 he is not sissy, he dresses normally, not stylish and fashion, thus people usually will not think of him as gay, but i am of the same style of him, and i am gay.does the above information especially the forth one carry some kind of meaning?thanks a lot!
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A
male
reader, Wheeler  +, writes (21 September 2012):
 You may save yourself an awkward conversation by just determining if he is straight or gay as best you can first. If he has previously only dated women, never expressed interest in men or you (sexually), and not sent any vibes that his sexuality is open in general, then it is at least likely he is simply straight.
Because you have never been in a relationship it may be very difficult for you to pick up on what if any signals he may be sending sexually. In that way you are probably vulnerable to misunderstanding his intentions for your friendship.
If he is straight then there will be no chance he is interested in a relationship with you, and furthermore may be a complete surprise that you are interested in more than a friendship.
Does he know that you are gay, do you carry yourself as a gay man, or would it not be obvious to him?
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A
female
reader, Black1991  +, writes (21 September 2012):
Hi, this is really a difficult one. It sounds like this guy is looking for male friends, and I think he has worked out you are guy, otherwise he wouldn't of said. But just to clarify tell him you are, he starts acting all weird on you then leave him be he would not be worth your time. But if he doesn't mind, then tell him how you feel. Least then you have told him and its out in the open.
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A
female
reader, lmao1989 +, writes (20 September 2012):
 Well you have said you're an exchange student and that you'll only be around him for about half a year. Why not tell him?
If you don't then you'll never know what he says.
Why did he randomly tell you he prefers girls? Is he trying to deny that he is gay?
You've nothing to lose just be honest and open otherwise you'll wind up back in China wondering what if?
When at least if you express yourself to him he'll know and then you can know whether or not it is to move on.
If he likes you great if not then at least you know.
Hope this helps.
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